To be pissed off when people comment on my weight-loss?

[mosschops30]

I rang my friend yesterday and we were chatting and I said Id been shopping and bought jeans.
She huffed and said 'oh I suppose they were an 8 or a 10'
err yes they are!
Similarly met one of the mums from school who just been congratulated on being pg even though she's not and she said 'oh its alright for you youre skinny'.

The point is that Ive lost 3 stone since having a horrendous time with ds2.
And it hasnt fallen off whilst ive been sat on the sofa eating doritos, oh no its cost me a personal trainer, training 4-5 nights a week, eating 3 meals a day, cutting out all crap stuff, not eating carbs after lunch etc etc.

I feel like saying look I have to work to look like this, as most people do, it doesnt come naturally fgs. If I sat at home every night eating cake then I would look the same as you

its irrational I know but it really winds me up

Really oblomov? I'd say our school has everything from the size 6 to 24+. I'm more likely to notice the fabulously dressed ones I have to say, but I'm shallow like that I should say also, not one person even commented til I had lost 4 fecking stone. So I do take on board that people don't take that much notice. It's just annoying that anyone should comment on it. I would never comment on anothers weight, not even my friends. But maybe that's because I'm on the recieving end of it.

Jealous, jealous, jealous. Bathe in their underhand comments, theyre just jealous

It's ok if someone says well done, you look good and leaves it at that.

But if you are bombed with remarks about it all the time as I was - well tbh, I just ran out of things to say. It was embarrassing and I felt in some cases, well one or two - that there was an ulterior motive to it.

It's the same if you wear a nice dress or change your hair. Ok to have a compliment - that's lovely, but some people make humungous deal about 'ooh look at you all dressed up!!' I loathe being spoken to in that way.

SAF, you're being ridiculous and totally misrepresenting what I've said.

Just because you feel you look crap at a size 14 doesn't mean everyone else does.

My shoulders and ribcage mean my natural size is a 14. Even when I could get into a size 8 jeans, I still needed a 12-14 top and I looked ridiculously top heavy. Like an american footballer with tits.

A size 14 suits my frame and my height. It looks good on me, I feel at my best at that size.

You think that's bitchy? You've got a problem hinny.

Same here, wubbly.

Who said anything about skin and bone, anyway? I'm neither skinny nor bony at a 14. I am as slim as I care to be and look in proportion.

And obviously I never SAID anything to my SIL about thinking she looked underweight. I just thought it. Privately.

Think everyone's got a 'natural' size where they feel comfortable and look good. She was under hers. Her face did look gaunt - same way when I went on a crash diet years ago and took it too far I ended up with really bony, skeletal feet. Oddly enough. At least, that's what I noticed at the time, maybe my face looked gaunt too only I hadn't realised...

Cheers edam and good for you!

It's taken me over 20 years to actually make peace with my body and to love the way I look. I'm obviously just a deluded fat fucker, but I'm a happy one!

I really honestly believe it's genetics. My mother has always been very slim (she's 5'2 and before having me she never managed to get over 6st7 until she'd had me) My kids look skinny and I do worry about them occasionally until I remember that dh is also tall and thin, and clearly genetically that's what they're going to be.

I've even queried my weight pre-kids with a GP (at 5'4, I was 7st7 - technically 'underweight') and been reassured that I have a very fine bone structure that makes BMI fairly meaningless for me. Post kids I got up to 9st7 which doesn't seem a lot, but did look heavy on me. One of my most beautiful friends laughs at this because she's 12st - but it suits her and she looks amazing. The numbers are fairly meaningless, imo.

Ironically, since I've been doing a ton of exercise, I've actually got some curves with decent muscle tone, much more body confidence and am now within BMI. And fuck it, yes I'm proud of my 'achievement'. It's come with a LOT of hard work. I find it ironic that my achievement is being heavier

(PS I'm pissed, and if this post doesn't make any sense or offends anyone, I didn't mean it to, so forgive me )

yanbu. In most cases it is jealousy. I know some of my friends and family react differently depending on what size I have been (anything from a 6-16).

I think it is because whether you are overweight or not is not genetic. It is usually down to either hard work, like the op's or a natural predisposition to not eating as much as others, so you make others uncomfortable if they can see that if they stopped making excuses for why they are the weight they are they could probably loose some weight/tone up or whatever.

What is genetic is height and frame size, so some people will be a 14 and not overweight, and so will look ill any smaller, and some can be a size 6 and be normal bmi, and perfectly healthy. So dress size is not a good way to assess how healthy someone is. But overweight/normal weight I believe is not mostly genes, it's how you live your life and can be overcome.

Most women I know have really messed up attitudes to weight and weight loss. After I had my daughter, 3 years ago, I got quite ill with Graves' disease - one of the (unintended) side effects of this was that I lost about 3 stone in no time. I really was very unwell. I lost count of the number of friends, however, who told me that they wished they had a thyroid disorder too. Never mind the anxiety, the fucked-clock heart rate and liver damage, or that I'll never be able to give blood, or that I could relapse at any time - I looked great in skinny jeans.

I always comment if i know someone has been trying to lose weight ,in a you look nice kind of way ,if i dont know for sure they have been dieting then i dont comment ,as i have discovered to my horror in the past that there are a variety of horrible illness's which cause dramatic weight loss and the person involved would rather be 10lbs heavier and not feel like shit
Well done OP , i joined ww last week to shift the excess 4 stone im carrying around and know it will be a long hard but worthwhile struggle

wubbly, sadly I am quite a bit more than a size 14 atm and really DO need to lose weight. But when I do it, I'll be heading for a 14. Any smaller and I look ridiculous - white van men lean out to tell me 'you don't get many of those to the pound' and so on. Fuckers.

Meant to put a after the first sentence, I don't take it that seriously.

Why do they have to be jealous, maybe some are, but maybe some dont see being a size 8 as superior to them. Maybe they think being constantly hungry and sweating it out running every night is a depressing way to live when you could be a healthy 12 and enjoy life more.

What makes being an 8 more desirable or successful than being a 12 exactly?

And, people are built bigger than others - this is why we have 'Petite' clothes, or is it only allowed for the littler people to have a differant bone set - those of us with broad shoulders and curvey hips are just making it up because we're 'jealous'.

We blame the fasion industry for eating disorders and the pure misery weight and dress sizes cause. we should look closer to home.

Bloody hell I wish someone would notice I have lost 4 and a half stone but they dont-still too huge for anyone to notice

agree with honie. what is all this size this is o.k and that size is not ? where is that coming from. what a load of tosh. I have been the same size my whole life. no effort required. as a diabetic, my whole life, i get weighed every 3 months, but i have been the same weight, give or take a few lbs for the last 20 years. now i need to lose 3/4 of a stone. never having dieted before am a bit nervous about self control. but we will see.
but this thread has horrified me. nasty comments about being a size 8, 14 or anything else ?
Not everyone aspires to being an 8. I don't. I have been a natural size 12 my whole life and have always been extremely happy in my own skin. and i really do mean always. happy pre-teen, happy when i developed, happy all through my life. I have an hourglass figure that most would die for.huge boobs, tiny waist, big hips. makes me sad to hear that people have only just accepted their shape after 20 years. I accepted my shape when i was 12.
anyway, lets stop giving eachother a hard time about size, please. i can't stand it.

and agree with belgianbun. i never tell people in RL how much i eat, because i appreciate that it would piss them off. even at diabetic clinic, all my consultants have joked that they never know 'where i put it'. iei eat enough for a 22 stone man. i kid you not. why is it that i have been blessed with this, and yet others only have to look at a doughnut ? i don't exercise and never have.
people make assumptions by looking at someone and assuming thta they are ... eat only a lettuce leaf or scoff 16 doughnuts before 10 am. but this is not always the truth. i know this because my dh is big but eats less than i do.
you have to have ALOT of info to work out why someone is the size they are.
I totally disagree with just about everyhting Pattenburg wrote. Jealsousy has no place in my life when I look at people skinnier that me.ever. never. and i don't agree with the genetic and if they stop making excuses theory, aswell.
there you go !!!

OMG so many people on here totally missing my point:
1 - I dont think people over a size 10 sit and eat cake every night, I just happen to know that of the 2 people that I was referring to 1 drinks 4 cans of lager a night and the other one eats a lot and does no exercise
2 - i did not suggest that i am better than anyone else or that being one size is better than another, some people are perfect at a size 6 and some at a size 16.

Im just sick of people making out that I just woke up one morning skinny! Ive worked my ass off to drop this weight, its not been easy and its still not easy, to suggest otherwise is just a bloody insult.

Finally for those people suggesting Im 'showing off'!!!! at the end of last year I had 2 major operations, i thought i was going to die, i caught a nasty infection, am taking legal action against my own employer for medical negligence, have PTSD which i still have counselling for and ongoing health problems.
So I AM NOT SHOWING OFF, im just bloody proud of what Ive achieved in 7 months when i couldnt even walk in January.

Hear hear mosschops. Well done. You skinny bitch

lol

Oblomov, my bestfriend is similar to you, never worried about her weight or her shape and never worried about what she ate. The result is that she eats what she likes, doesn't exercise particularly and stays exactly the same. It's the right attitude to have.

For me, it was insecurity about how I looked (picked up from my mother probably, who always went on about how fat she was, even at a size 12 and stunning) that made me think I would feel better about myself if I lost weight. I never did, it was my head that needed fixing, not my figure.

It is sad really that I wasted so much time worrying about it but I'm happy to have eventually made peace with myself. The catalyst was my Dad dying much too young. I realised I needed a healthy, working body, rather than a body of a particular size or shape and that food was the key to that rather than my enemy.

I lost 2.5 stone (most of back on now, but we won't talk about that) and I did love that people mentioned my weight loss, but I was always a bit when people used to say OMG you've lost sooo much weight you look great - which was nice but it always made me think a)I didn't look great before and b)I'm not actually that skinny now, just have lost loads of weight, so you must have thought I was a huge fat thing before.
But it was still nice, people just don't think sometimes and if a person doesn't actually know what you did to lose weight, then you can't hold it against them that they don't know it!!