to want to die of shame because........

[mortification]

.....(have name changed)...I just sent a text to my OH along the lines of "and I love you and your great big XXXX and I can't wait to see you tomorrow and sit on it with my really XXX XXXXX and etc etc" - you get the general gist -

To realise to my horror I have sent it to my Dad who I have also been texting all day as my mum is in hosp having a routine op.

[shock

I've been told that in case of extreme foot-in-mouth syndrome one should promptly obtain a case of industrial strength voddie or similar, couple of large pillows and thickest duvet around. Then proceed to consume the said industrial strength nectar while cowering under the said duvet and scream, continuously, into the said pillows.
After about 3 years, things might start looking up again.
Then again, maybe they won't....

IHeartKittensAndWine That is hilarious!

My Uncle has a saying 'never write down anything that you wouldn't be prepared to read out in court'.

Mortifiyed for you.

Oh thank god my parents don't know how to text.

Oh eek. Message from dad would be 100 times worse than message to dad. Although I bet the op doesn't think so!

My Dad asked for a screwdriver this afternoon, and I said "sure, it's in that drawer, but you'll need the key" (Small children, it's a filing cabinet)

So, Dad opens the drawer, and sat proudly on top of the stationary items are a couple of condoms!

Never mind, I suppose with 3 children, my Dad realises DH and I have sex

This thread has made my evening!!!

Dh once sent me a text along these lines 'The trouble with you looking so hot is that it makes me want to f* you'. Not to me though, to his mum. WHo is possibly one of the msot straight laced people you can imagine! She sent it back to him with 'I presume this wasn't meant for me?' which is the only reason he knew!!! I was very very amused!

Sorry OP but this has tested my very weak pelvic floor muscle to the max. Bloody hilarious.

OMG - hysterical

Kill yourself now!

Oh

My

God

I'd

Be

In

The

Box

With

The

Others

Mortification - come on, you have to tell us who you really are, this is toooooo good to not rib you about!!!

So, what are you doing this weekend??

OH and I don't think it's shiney - I don't think she'd bother to namechange!!

Verrrryy funny! I could not ever face my parents again after something like this. They are just not those kind of parents. Weirdly though, my sister gets away with all this sort of stuff with my mum.

Mum found my sister's leg separator things (think S&M) in her wardrobe when she still left at home.

My sis also has a clitoral piercing which mum didn't know about until they were at Champneys together on some spa type day and they were asked about piercings before they both had some treatment together. The therapist was asking where her piercing was and my sister was whispering and jerking her head going "there, there!" whilst casting furtive glances over at my mother.

Recently I exposed my fanjo and arse to vistaprint unwittingly as I was doing some posters for the business and had done a rough mock up where I had inserted a pic from my file to fill a space until I uploaded the proper pic. Was going to send to DP at work for his prior approval so bunged in a rude pic. Really rude as well.

Few days later, I thought I'd removed it but vista stores all your uploaded images and 'helpfully' makes example business cards and magnets and displays them on your account page to tempt you.

I had to phone vista about re-sizing the pdf correctly and so they logged in to my account during the call and as I scrolled down the page I realised that there were T shirts, business cards and mugs all displaying my foof from behind. The lady actually said "which is the final image you want to use, are you sure this is complete?" And I'm just dying and totally trying to 'style it out'.

hobbgoblin That is f*cking hilarious. I really hope you got some fanjo business cards printed.

at hobbgoblin!!!!!! Style away. Tell them you are printing business cards for all the phone boxes in SoHo ! Then close your account and run...

Jesus wept

for you

ROFL altinkum

well you're going to have to fake your own death OP aren't you? or emigrate to somewhere with no means of communication..or join one of those silent orders of nuns. just anything really.

i would never never ever get over this. in a million years. ever

Oh more stories please everyone!

I was so embarrassed about my vista expose, that I felt the need to make some pretend flyers on there a few days later advertising anal bleaching so that it looked like I was a beauty person or something and that it was one of my customers.

What the hell I was thinking, I don't know but even though I'm sure they never logged into my account again just to have a look, it seemed a good idea to offer a fake explanation (to myself I guess ).

Years ago, I finished with my boyfriend by email but sent it to my dad by mistake (boyfriend relatively new, was on other side of world, phone not possible). Dad denied receiving the email, but I think he was just embarrassed!

Yes, tell him someone at work/wherever got hold of your phone and sent it for a joke, and you're really upset with her/him.

Poor you! Big sympathy - but I admit I laughed so loud my cat ran outside

I love this thread

fantastic!!!!!
thanks for the belly laugh

Has mortification done a Reginald Perrin on us then? Does she not realise how much joy she's brought us all?

And Hobgoblin my 20m old may well have learned the word fanjo this morning as I read your post out loud to my DH and her! PMSL - thanks for the tears you two!

hobgoblin I am in floods of tears here. I think the fanjo fridge magnet might be BIG this summer.

I got a text last weekend from a number I don't recognise which said "Hi Honey, be home in 2 days, so horny, can't wait Xxx".
There was a photo attached of a woman naked from neck to waist.

I have had to resist the urge to reply as I really couldn't think of anything witty enough.

Willing to send any funny suggestions though!

"ant plans for the weekend"
I think he's not going to mention it.......! My dad doesn't have a mobile phone so at least I couldn't send it to him by accident......