to not like being given a list of jobs to do...

[stubbornhubby]

... at the weekend?

By your DH or employer?
Either way, YANBU

No YANBU - you shouldn't need a list, you're a grown up. Tell your DW you don't like it, I assume you don't need a list in order to do your share?

Realised I've assumed you are male - apologies if I'm wrong, - I guess you could be a female with a stubbornhubby.

Whats a weekend? DH works more hours at the weekend than at any other time.

Depends what is on the list.

...by my DW...

I assumed gender the other way round.

Some men need lists because they are otherwise oblivious to things that need doing. Women can always find more than enough to do themselves.

depends, if you normally do your fair share then it seems strange.

if you normally lie on the sofa while your wife does all the childcare and housework then it seems quite appropriate.

what is the reason behind it?

before I say more : let's put a different slant on this.. for all you women out there

• on saturday morning do you give your DH a list of jobs, or not?
• why?

no, because he doesn't live here.

but when he is home on leave he gets the rundown of what needs done;

a) because he says he never knows what needs done
b) because if i didn't let him know, he wouldn't ask
c) because stuff needs done and we are both there so we should both do it.

I do not... but I wish I could.

Do you know what needs doing around the house?

disclaimer; he still doesn't do what needs done when i ask

DH and I discuss what we need to get done that weekend and prioritise what's imporant. I have normally come up with the list (unwritten) because I work part time and have had a few days to think about it. This doesn't tend to be chores but 'bigger' jobs. Eg the ceiling needs painting, I can't do it so dh will have to.

If he doesn't get round to it by sunday I nag him and he normally does it straight away!

If this is regarding chores, I don;t have to ask him, he just does what he thinks needs doing (washing, dishwasher, rubbish out etc)

So no, no list

No I don't, and wouldn't. We generally seem to mutually decide what needs doing and get on with it together. (I don't have young children at home though, so that may alter things a bit.)

On a Saturday I would not give DH a list of jobs to do as he is at work.

On Sunday I might mention that I we need certain stuff doing.

no, i don't. i usually have a list of stuff that needs doing on the calendar and on a friday evening or saturday morning we talk about what we'll be doing over the weekend and what we can get done off the list, if anything

dp often asks me what needs doing though, and then i give him a list of jobs

i think men and women, esp if the woman is a sahm, have very different ideas of how weekends should go though
for me it's the only 2 days we get dp around, and it means that I really like to get all those "man" jobs done that I need his help with, or that he has said he'll do

for him it's his lovely 2 days off work, when he wants to relax!

so, yes, it's hard combining that sometimes

It's quicker doing it myself when dd2's new bed came he stood like a spare part watching me struggle to build it until I actually asked him to help

Answer to first bit - no.

Second bit - because he cracks on well enough on his own, and happily shares the chores when he's not working. If Saturdays seemingly struck him blind and deaf to the fairly relentless "stuff" that needs doing when you've got three small dcs and expected me to carry on as per while he sat on his backside, yep I might well give him a (polite) list

I get a verbal list off DH almost every day, what is wrong with that. Obviously, you have let things build up.

borderlass I am the same with flat packs. May as well do it myself as it takes DH months to get round to doing it.

I don't give DH a list of jobs, but during the week one of the tasks he takes on is shopping and I have to prompt him to do it and provide a list.

polly makes a good point, it's very hard to comment unless you tell us a bit more. How and why did the list business arise?

What is the usual content of the list?

Can you give us an example?

What happens if you don't complete the list?

SH come back and tell us the craic!

It was exH who used to leave me with a list, and used to phone to nag me about it too, while he was at work. (One of the reasons he is now ExH). Nagging is corrosive.

If I ever suggested to him that anything needed doing he would go ballistic, however.