to be mortified at ds behaviour at pre school today. he showed another boy his privates.

[cocopear]

picked ds up from pre school earlier. he is 4. his teacher took me aside and said that she had to put him in time out today because he and another boy were "touching inappropriate places" it turns out they had shown eachother their privates.

i am mortified, embarassed and angry. i dont know what to think, why has he done this?? he is not normally naughty, he is a very normal, happy, well balanced and generally well behaved little boy.

now all sorts is going through my mind, i am so worried as to why he might have done this??

i asked my dp (his stepdad) to have a word with him, which he now has. as i was so angry and embarassed i just did not know how to deal with it.

One dentist I worked with has 2 children.they were tiny she employed a nanny. She employed a nanny.

Nanny v hands on, lost of activities. One day they (the dc and the nanny) were drawing around hands. Then feet. Then the youngest pulled his pants down, put his willy on the table & asked the nanny to draw around it.

She did. Because it is just another part of the body & if you let him see you react negatively to it, he will grow up with all sorts of hang ups.

Don't be "i am mortified, embarassed and angry". Tell him that it isn't appropriate to show his willy off in pre school/public. I also think that doing time out was wrong.

Bit of representativeness there! when they were young, she employed a nanny.

I also think the worker overreacted.
Had they touched each other or just shown?

I remember my own son being fascinated by his & his Dad´s.
But not other peoples.
Perhaps he saw enough with playing naked with friends, bath/shower together if sleepover, getting changed at swimming pool.

Certainly by 4 he knew that you don´t get it out to admire at preschool.

Colditz pmsl at the ham sandwich!
Cocopear - very normal. Just talk to him about appropriate times and places, don't be angry with him - he is just finding out how amazing bodies are. Let us know how your chat with him goes, sounds like he is a pretty good boy so will be calmed by talking about it reasonably.
Think teacher overreacted - I know I was doing this at this age and a bit older, the "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" was very common in primary school!.

Ds said some boys were still showing their willies to each other in Yr 1 . One boy called it his 'chippy' and as dh is a carpenter we found this very funny . I think the staff told you because it is inappropriate but pretty normal behaviour. Also what it your ds had told you about seeing 'willies' and you thought the staff weren't aupervising the children properly. She was covering her arse basically. She maybe could have reassured you of the normalness so you weren't too upset.

Not unusual behaviour. . .its not naughty , it just what little kids do sometimes. . .dont worry about it.

I have a 9 yr old who last year told another boy in his class, "my girlfriend licks my Willy", . . .another boy of 12 yrs in Choir practice had told him this apparently. . .Now thats something to be mortified about. . . .!!!!!!!!!!

Completely normal!Most children explore and are fascinated by this. Dont overreact or make him feel bad, just say to him that this is private we do this at home not at nursery.

I haven't encountered this situation yet with DS (he starts next month at preschool) but at least I'll now know not to make a fuss if/when it happens thanks to all the posters on this thread . It's so difficult to know how to handle these kind of situations.

I don't want to worry you OP but my DP regularly shows me his 'windmill' impression when he gets out the shower, it does not get any better!

I do a bored sigh while he giggles away like a 4 year old

They have a fascination with it that we can never understand!

I am at the way it was dealt with by the nursery worker though, very unprofessional. I would be having a chat with the manager if I were you, she is the one being U not your poor son.

men really do think it's their best friend - I know DH treats it like that!!lol

Oh, I get it now-not only do I not know what I´m talking about, but my husband isn´t penis-centric, and this has been passed to my son.

No wonder I have it all wrong.

OP - the fascination is still there when they're 14...believe you me! Bored sighs normally deal with any inherent exhibitionism ime.

Ýes-but at 14 they tend to keep their fascination private ime.

I'm shocked! Horrified! Disgusted! I'm almost speechless!

How can someone so stupid be working with young children?!

Shineon, if your DP was to stand naked in front of you and wiggle his hips, a certain part of his body would go around like a windmill! It was amusing the first time

I'm feeling a bit better now as at 4 told ds that fiddling with his willy is something only to be done in bed while alone NOT while watching tv or eating dinner

my friend thought this wierd (she has dd's) but I guess thats the right thing.

DS now 5 loves telling people how he can wee without pulling down his boxers as there's a hole in the front!!!

agree teacher seems to have over reacted and made you feel this way for you

Oh no Shineon-if you´re lucky enough to have a bloke who doesn´t do it-don´t suggest it!

LOL,colditz the ham sandwich willy is so funny.tears of laughter at visual image

Shineoncrazydiamond, I think it needs to be more flexible, iyswim.

No, Shineon-just think flaccid willy flapping around pointlessly.

I didn´t realise grown men did this.

I thought boys grew out of it before school.