to be mortified at ds behaviour at pre school today. he showed another boy his privates.

[cocopear]

picked ds up from pre school earlier. he is 4. his teacher took me aside and said that she had to put him in time out today because he and another boy were "touching inappropriate places" it turns out they had shown eachother their privates.

i am mortified, embarassed and angry. i dont know what to think, why has he done this?? he is not normally naughty, he is a very normal, happy, well balanced and generally well behaved little boy.

now all sorts is going through my mind, i am so worried as to why he might have done this??

i asked my dp (his stepdad) to have a word with him, which he now has. as i was so angry and embarassed i just did not know how to deal with it.

Oh, don't feel bad. It's normal to worry! I'm actually a bit annoyed by the response of his teacher, she should have a bit more knowledge of child development. Complete over-reaction

normal as everyone says
ds2 who is 3 pressed his willy against the glass classroom door at school this week when we were waiting to pick ds1 up
one of the dads was crying with laughter
I only hope the teacher didn't notice!

Poor boy! His teacher sounds a bit weird. Is she not very experienced?

Just out of interest - how was your DP about it? It was my DH who normalised it for me. I didn't remember doing it as a child, but he did (not with me - that would be weird )

coco, I'm really sorry that the pre-school teacher (is she actually a teacher?) is a loon. But she is. Poor old ds. If I were you, I'd want to know exactly what the woman did and said and what her tone of voice and body language were. It is WRONG for anyone working in childcare to make children feel bad for displaying perfectly natural curiosity about their bodies.

My 6 year old Ds has his hands constantly down his pants as do most of his friends. They find it all hilarious. Once he came downstairs saying "look what I can do Mummy" - he had his willy wrapped around a pencil. Your DS is totally normal.

I think you need to have a talk with the teacher and let her know that she is a bit weird TBH.

Also you can apologise to your DS for overreacting. I do it all the time. It tarnishes my God status in his eyes but it does mean I don't have to back myself into a corner.

YABVU and prudish!

It's quite normal for children to be fascinated by their bodies. All this nonsense about certain parts being "naughty", "rude" or "dirty" just gives a kid hang-ups later on in life.

My son and his mates used to have peeing contests against the nursery fence in full view of all the other kids and anyone who happened to be walking past!

i222.photobucket.com/albums/dd140/JacintaO/withthisimgoingtocontrolyourlife.jpg

she isnt really a teacher as such, its a private day nursery so she is a teaching assistant type-thing i think?

she is very young as well, probably late teens to early 20's. that was mortifying as well, being almost "told off" for my kids behaviour by someone ten years younger than me doubt she has even got kids.

YABU
I agree with edam. I work in childcare and this sort of thing happens every day. It is normal.
The 'teacher' sounds like an idiot.

Im a bit that you are soooo bothered. Im also more worried about them getting time out for it. Its a willy for fuck sake. My dd is contantly pulling her pants down to show me her bum in public, its only people with overactive imaginations who would have a problem. To me, a willy is no more private than a leg/arm etc until they start puberty.

It's the prechool worker who's abnormal, not your boy. I'd be having a quiet word with the setting leader about their unreasonable response to the situation.

his willy wrapped around a pencil?
that IS a good trick!
utterly utterly normal. and they don't grow out of it... e.g. hanging towels on it etc etc.
my dd1 (7) was in the bath tonight and YELLED down the stairs " MUM I can turn my vulva inside out! Come and LOOK!"
luckily I had no visitors
cue chat about privacy etc etc
is this making you feel better? I DO hope so

i concur that said pre school 'teacher' is clearly a right fanny.

I agree that the teacher handled this really badly and passed on her own discomfort about perfectly normal behaviour in children this age to your son and to you. I vividly remember being four years old and pulling down my knickers with other kids in a neighbour's garden. My mum was MORTIFIED when she found out and made me feel so dirty and ashamed. Do try to talk to your son again about it.

Thats the second time a post by colditz about her ds has made me laugh today he sounds wonderful

OP, don't worry its normal

Do boys ever really get out of the fascination of having one?! :D

It's perfectly normal - if it happened in school (I do a lot of work in foundation stage) I'd mention it to parents just in case the kid goes home and says something like "Johnny was showing me his willy" and it causes alarm - but I wouldn't make a big deal about things.

First week of my teaching practice I had to quiz some boys who'd been having a weeing competiton in the urinal that had just been installed in the boys' toilets (so ir was still new and fascinating to them). I managed to go through the "so were you having a weeing up the wall competition" talk with them, talked about it not being appropriate... then had to run for the staffroom to burst into fits of laughter at the strain of keeping a straight face through the sheer absurdity of it all!

Ds1 was in school and aged 5 when he came home and showed me a note he had been made to write saying "I must not show my willy in yard"
I was very proud of his ability to write!

The pre-school assistant sounds like she totally over-reacted and maybe doesn't have much experience with this age group? Perhaps she was working with babies/toddlers previously.

I'd apologise to your ds and just reiterate that some parts of your body are private and just for you. Until children are told that we find it socially unacceptable to play with our genitals in public, then they don't know! He wasn't trying to be naughty.

"Do boys ever really get out of the fascination of having one?! :D"

No. A friend who teaches secondary kids regularly tells boys to "stop fiddling with whatever you've got there under the desk"!

She assures me it invariably raises a laugh amongst other pupils!

Actually I don´t think it is "normal"-that´s not to say I think it´s abnormal, but I think it´s an odd thing to have done at preschool tbh.

diddl, I have worked with children for 20 years and yes, it is perfectly normal.

Hope the two boys were more impressed than dd when a school friend showed her his willy. His mum was mortified, dd having three older brothers gave him a withering look and asked "Is that it?"
Can't believe pre school teacher found it unusual