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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask DH to put his pants on...

95 replies

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:25

...when he massages my back!
I get a lovely massage a few times a week before sleep and I'm very grateful, but DH insists on being naked.
Then his willy gets all excited (obviously at the sight of my perfect figure ) and suddenly I go from relaxed and about to fall blissfully asleep to having a bottom covered in c**k juice. I turn around and sure enough he has an erection.

I think he's thinking about sex and it ruins my massage, he swears he's not, only his penis is and he (DH) is well aware that this is not leading to sex.

I try to relax but my bum is still wet, he doesn't understand the problem, apparently if you love someone you don't mind their bodily fluids.

I have asked him a couple of times to put a pair of pants on before the massage and he refuses, then the whole experience is crap. Arrrrgh!

OP posts:
5inthebed · 30/06/2010 18:28

Could you not have saved this for a Friday night?

YANBU, but honestly

compo · 30/06/2010 18:28

Well it's obviously a sexual massage to him
you need a masseuse , lol
yuk

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:29

no, I get a massage on Fridays

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 30/06/2010 18:30

FGS woman.

T M I. Like, seriously, tmi.

Who the hell wants to hear about your dh's cock juice?

Come on!

thisisyesterday · 30/06/2010 18:32

agree with bibbity.

if it makes it crap then just tell him you aren't interested

Disenchanted3 · 30/06/2010 18:32

Ermm, am I missing something here, so hes pulling one off whilst masaging you?

or does he have piss problems?

usualsuspect · 30/06/2010 18:32

ewww

HecateQueenOfWitches · 30/06/2010 18:33

He may be 'well aware it's not leading to sex' but it sort of is, isn't it? For him. He is getting gratification from massaging you naked. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's nice that he enjoys touching you so much.

You could, I suppose, refuse a massage if this ruins it for you? But then you're missing out on something you enjoy - but then you're not enjoying it, are you? If he was doing it as a nice thing to do for you, then he'd do what you want. If you don't like a slimy bum, why not cover your bottom so it doesn't get wet? Wear pants?

Or why not suggest that he wears pants when massaging you, and in return you will give him a massage and he can be naked if he wants?

Jacksmama · 30/06/2010 18:33

at being offended about c**k juice. You think this is TMI?

Scattered, I have no useful advice to offer except I totally see where you're coming from (so to speak) and it's too bad you're DH doesn't.

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:33

no, it's just the "prep" fluids iykwim

OP posts:
StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 30/06/2010 18:35

literotica.com

or even:

Netmums.

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:36

thanks Hecate, I may suggest that. His argument is that "it's not comfortable"

Hmmm, maybe he just needs new, more comfortable pants

OP posts:
ilove · 30/06/2010 18:37

You could always just have more sex?

Poshwellies · 30/06/2010 18:38

How about you tell him you don't like his sticky nob on your arse while he massages you OP? Not difficult eh?

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:39

I think that's why I feel a bit guilty, I haven't been in the mood for some time now. I battled depression recently and he's my rock, never comlains, however I am always aware that he'd like more than he's getting. Hence I get upset... I think...

OP posts:
QSincognitoErgoSum · 30/06/2010 18:39

My advice to you:

Sock on cock
cock on clock

tick tock

Poshwellies · 30/06/2010 18:40

rock indeed.

scatteredbraincells · 30/06/2010 18:41

LOL

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 30/06/2010 18:41

I thought this was going to be about the hot weather we've been having recently....

BecauseImWorthIt · 30/06/2010 18:43

Then it's a bit mean accepting a massage from him when you know it's turning him on.

Can you not enjoy the massage and allow it to turn into sex? That's obviously what he's hoping will happen, but you're turning him down - a bit selfish, actually, I think.

What's the worst thing that could happen? You will have sex with him and enjoy it?!

Sn0wflake · 30/06/2010 18:47

Well thanks for the laughter.

stressheaderic · 30/06/2010 18:47

What Because said.

Sounds all a bit one-way to me.
I am willing to bet every single time he's done it, he's hoped it might just lead to sex. Surprise him one night, and do it.

moondog · 30/06/2010 18:47

'cock juice'

You've put me right off my pre dinner G&T.

Poshwellies · 30/06/2010 18:49

"prep" fluids?

Heard it all now.

RumourOfAHurricane · 30/06/2010 18:51

This reply has been deleted

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