to ask DH to put his pants on...

[scatteredbraincells]

...when he massages my back!
I get a lovely massage a few times a week before sleep and I'm very grateful, but DH insists on being naked.
Then his willy gets all excited (obviously at the sight of my perfect figure ) and suddenly I go from relaxed and about to fall blissfully asleep to having a bottom covered in c**k juice. I turn around and sure enough he has an erection.

I think he's thinking about sex and it ruins my massage, he swears he's not, only his penis is and he (DH) is well aware that this is not leading to sex.

I try to relax but my bum is still wet, he doesn't understand the problem, apparently if you love someone you don't mind their bodily fluids.

I have asked him a couple of times to put a pair of pants on before the massage and he refuses, then the whole experience is crap. Arrrrgh!

And here I thought it was another one of those 'I never wear pants' threads.

Get a masseuse.

Tell him you don't want any more massages.

Give him a handjob first.
Badda bing, badda boom; flacid schlong during rub-down.

HTH!

'his willy gets all excited?' - you seem to be buying into his theory that his penis has its own personality.

If he wears pants - you've got a guy in wet pants wandering round your bedroom. I think you're caught between a rock and a hard place.

If he's sweet enough to be giving you a massage and not pushing for sex then just take it as a compliment that he's finds you attractive. If the "prep juice"

I now feel more sick than I did when my DD pooed her pants this morning. Thanks.

I think your poor husband is hoping the massage will lead to sex, hence willy-uppage. Maybe just do it. I went through a phase of not fancying it much. I only started to fancy it more when I started doing it more. Wish DP would give me regular massages. If I ask him for a rub he says 'umph do I have to?'

The most offensive thing about this thread is that you used the phrase "He's my rock".

a man & trained massage therapist writes...

massage using massage couch / table = therapist standing at one side

massage on bed = masseur / masseuse sat astride receiver.

gentle back and forth movements + skin on skin + person you're attracted to = erection

It does not necessarily = want to have sex

Maybe he is hoping for sex, maybe he'd like a bit of appreciation for giving the massage, maybe he likes the idea of being close to you by being naked, maybe it's really not that big a deal. (well, to him, anyway)

A thought occurs - buy him a sexy nice thong (erotic men's underwear, anyone?)

or, perhaps you could explain that in this heat, things are getting a little sweaty, and that's putting you off - so perhaps a strategically placed hand towel will help?

oh GROSS OUT

you are vile with your wet bum
vomit

Maybe you could knit him a mitten.

I do DP back in bed and I like rubbing Keith up against her Bottom and he gets all giddy and excited but I dont necessesserelery want sex and he doesnt make a mess
Willys are funny like that It does not take a lot to get them excited

"mitten" ROFL!!!!!!!

LMAO @ all these suggestions for a glorified cum rag - mitten, sock, handknitted wank holder.

It is very toning for the skin if you carry on as you are you are youwill have the bum of a 20 yr old in no time Well worth it

I was thinking the same thing.

Or sorry,,, my last post was a response to the last post on the previous page. Funny topic.

lol at Keith.

This is the funniest thread I've seen in ages

Poor bloke is clearly dying for a shag and I think you're being a bit mean. I mean you're getting all your sensual gratification and asking him to do something that he clearly finds arousing, but you aren't allowing him any pleasure.

I understand about the depression and low libido - I have been there very recently - but I still think you are being quite harsh to your DH.