to ask DH to put his pants on...

[scatteredbraincells]

...when he massages my back!
I get a lovely massage a few times a week before sleep and I'm very grateful, but DH insists on being naked.
Then his willy gets all excited (obviously at the sight of my perfect figure ) and suddenly I go from relaxed and about to fall blissfully asleep to having a bottom covered in c**k juice. I turn around and sure enough he has an erection.

I think he's thinking about sex and it ruins my massage, he swears he's not, only his penis is and he (DH) is well aware that this is not leading to sex.

I try to relax but my bum is still wet, he doesn't understand the problem, apparently if you love someone you don't mind their bodily fluids.

I have asked him a couple of times to put a pair of pants on before the massage and he refuses, then the whole experience is crap. Arrrrgh!

agree thoroughly with Because I'm worth it. after all it isn't going to take long if he's that aroused.!!!

Why are these threads from June 2010 being bumped? Was it some kind of extraordinary day?

It's the spies.

FFS Latootle - WHY are you bumping old threads?

ROFL cock juice, prep fluids

How the hell has this come back??

I would kill for a massage right now, cock juice or no cock juice tbh.
Stop moaning woman!

am now wondering how much of a business I can make out of knitting wank mitts

Bumping old threads?

Mollydollydoll - but at least its one with a giggle

Lucky you, still getting massages from DH...

Have you considered returning the favour and giving him a massage? I think considering he isnt getting any sex it's really mean and somewhat selfish to expect something for you and give nothing in return.

Has to be really hard for him to touch you and get nothing from you in the way of affection.

In fairness the OP hasn't said they never have sex, she just wants her massage to be a no fly zone.

I think YANBU, OP.

But still am , nonetheless.

YABU!! Jeez, send your DH round to me and he can massage me in the nude, the juice will act as extra lube. Seriously, that is a lovely lovely thing he does for you - so what if he gets an erection, you know, you might want to let him use it, poor bastard

Oil of no lay-funniest thing I've read on here in ages:o

Some of the best sex DH and I have is after a massage! But we also have an exchange rule - a blowjob for a massage. Works well for us. Especially as I enjoy giving head, but for fucks sake please dont tell DH that!

And oil of nolay made my mouthful of squash come out of my nose!

Love oil of no lay!!! Dp and ds asked me what I was sniggering at and got irritated when I said 'nothing' ..

Oh god I thought it was just my DH except I don't get the wet bum bit just prodded in the arse a lot. Even if I wear knickers he slides the buggers down by sliding himself down and taking them with him.

Next time he gives you a massage put a small towel over your bum this will stop him getting too excited. But if he does get excited the towel will get it instead of you. Personally your lucky I never get offered a massage but then again I wouldnt want to be juiced on ughh

You could always try fixing a John Prescott mask to the back of your head?