Asking guests to bring stuff to a party

[LilyTheDrink]

AIBU to think it's a bit rude to ask guests to bring food to a party?

I don't think I'd specifically ask a potential guest to bring something, but if they offered, I'd probably say not to bother unless they'd really like to, and if they would, then thankyou, it would be gratefully accepted.

yes family parties its a bit crap to presume someone always pays, spec if you always go to same house
my lovely SIL brought fab salady stuff to my 40th, mum a salmon, sister some hollandaise
mum a pud, and i did one too
was fun

I would always take alcohol and soft drinks but to ask people to bring food just increases the risk of getting food poisoning.
All those mayo dressed coleslaws and potato salads that have travelled god knows how far in the back of a car. Bleugh.

We had a barbecue the other weekend and everybody brought something. As I'd assumed we would be providing, we ended up with about 4 times as much as we needed. I can kind of see the point of etiquette now...

I would never ask anyone to bring anything, but if they offered, I might take them up on it - a salad or pudding, but not the main course .

OP - does that mean you must only eat your allocated chckn drumstix?

At family Barbies we all bring food and drink, we ring whoever is having it and they tell us what to bring. Even if friends are having a barbie I would ring and ask if they wanted me to bring anything and would certainly not be offended if they rang me first and said "could you bring such and such and dont forget to bring what you drink". Especially in todays climate.

I hate going anywhere empty handed and will always take a bottle or several if its an evening (and sometimes daytime depending on the friend ).

If we're invited to a bbq then I will ask if I can bring anything - if they say they have the meat covered then I will offer a pud.

If its a dinner party then as well as booze I bring flowers and chocs.

If I'm invited for coffee then I will often bake / buy a cake or biscuits.

I just think it makes the host feel that you value their friendship / hospitality doesn't it? Maybe I'm a bit odd though

No your not odd lima I do the same

and me

choc mousse slice always a winner

I would happily take the chicken drumsticks in lieu of bringing a bottle but I see you've been asked to supply both. What exactly are the party hosts supplying?

Having a party usually requires some outlay by the hosts but here it appears to be limited to the gas to cook the BBQ .

Offering to bring stuff is one thing (and should be done, regardless of the occasion), being told what exactly to bring is another, especially if not by a friend. I would be pissed off too tbh.

Always polite to take something - a bottle,a pudding, some nibbles - so I always do.

But I hate being asked to "bring a bottle". Why have party if u have to rely on your guests to bring the alcohol?

(Although I do agree it's acceptable in the "reunion" type situation that was mentioned earlier)

Altinkum, rules of etiquette with family and family-like friends are different and acceptable to ask people to chip in.

reading these responses I guess I'd best cancel my (still in mind) plans for a house warming.............

think its acceptable within a small group of friends/family but not a huge gathering.

when ds2 christened we asked people to bring whatever they wanted to drink, in our eyes we had provided bouncy castle for the kids and gorgeous food on the BBQ-steaks and quality burgers etc etc so thought that was fair.

As it was, only about 3 people brought drinks, the rest obviously thought we'd provide them anyway!

lol Cat - quite possibly right there

actually I wasn't really going to cancel my plans.

It was a friend who suggested I should have a house warming party "and get everyone to bring something"

God mu fabbo mates embRass me by bringing more booze. Than they drink

but this is her DH's work colleague, not a friend, and the OP has been told what to bring "PBAB & 12 chick drumstix". Surprised the host hasn't specified which shop they're bought from!

I wouldn't see a problem in being asked to bring something to a BBQ, I thought that was standard practice these days, Its great to have a get together and it can happen more often if everyone chips in, that way it doesnt cost one person a fortune in one go.

OP are you a vegetarian? Asked to bring chicken?
stuff that - take some haollmi (sp?) & pepper kebabs or something for bbq you will eat!

throw your party toucan - everyone will bring something & it will be FAB!!!! (Sighs - I love throwing parties but flat wayyyy too small)

tocca not toucan