To not want to be forced to do an 'Alpha' course just to get my child Baptised

[Happybutknackered]

I believe in God and have attended church all my life. So why should I have to 'prove' it in order to have my child Baptised? Surely this is between me and God - not the church?

who said you had to do an Alpha course? Maybe it is just offered and not a prerequisite

Join another church or better still, abandon a church and carry on believing what you believe regardless of any formality.

Are you getting your DC baptised in a different church than the one you attend?

YANBU. What sort of church is it?

No. It is definitely a prerequisite. If you don't want to do it then you cannot have your child Baptised at this church. We are going somewhere else.

Have never done an Alpha course personally but friends have and enjoyed them, also found them informative , so I don't think they are bad; however the coercive element here strikes me as odd

It is a CofE and we have been attending for some time. It is the new vicar who has enforced this condition.

Why don't you just have the baptism at your own church? I'd find it kind of weird to do it elsewhere, part of the point is the commitment from the rest of the church family to help encourage and teach your children and pray for the family.

If it's your own church, surely they know you and if you were recent enough / detached enough for them to be unsure of your personal faith, they'd just have a chat with you? (Don't mean detached in a bad way, sometimes people keep a bit reserved from a church for various reasons but which might mean it would be reasonable for the minister to chat things through a bit).

well enforcing it is an unfortunate move because really you are alienating people unnecessarily by implying they do not know enough about their faith to be sure they know how to bring up their baptised dc as a Christian.

No doubt he will meet with some general reluctance if he takes this stance. I suppose I might consider writing to him about it but you do not need to.

I suspect he is assuming that many people who are nominally COE will not have a thorough grounding in the faith these days - and he is probably right with that but I can see he has offended you on this one.

Generally, do you like that church?

Sorry x post. How new? Possibly a little over zealous?! I think I'd just ask for a personal meeting for you with him and discuss why you want to baptise your child and expect that would make clear to him the basis for your faith without requiring an Alpha course too. Not that Alpha is a problem, but I've never liked the 'Alpha is the new baptism into church membership' approach.

As someone who has done Alpha/Christianity Explored and Discipleship Explored AND attends a very strict evangelical church, I find the mandatory aspect worrying bizarre and I would also go elsewhere.

YADNBU.

YANBU IMO as a "regular" you absolutely shouldn't have to. Just dont get me started on the millions of people who want to have their children christened despite being non-religious and having never attended church before in their lives.........

Yanbu- had depressing experience as vicar (wrongly assumed) that wanted to baptise dd as part of showing she was church attender to go to local school so there was a list of things we had to do before he would consider her for baptism.

Usually there's some a pre-baptism meeting(s) to check people understand what it's about and what will happen on the day. However Alpha is designed primarily for non-Christians and I have never heard of it used as a compulsory pre-baptism course.

Perhaps you could contact the CofE National Offices to find out if whether or not they're allowed to insist on this?

Have a look at this link to the CofE website here where it says

Q. I'm not a regular churchgoer. Can I still have my child baptised?

A. Yes. The Church believes that God's love is available to all, regardless of their background. Your parish priest can talk you through the options: you might prefer to have a Thanksgiving service first and then consider baptism when you have had time to talk through what is being asked of you.

That's very helpful link diplodoris.

A friend of mine had to do Alpha as a precondition of getting married in local church, but he wasn't an attendee.

The new vicar has been at the church for 8months. I have since learned that two other regular attenders have left because of this new rule. I would not mind attending the Alpha course but I am a busy working Mum and I feel that my own faith is enough.

Surely if you are a christian then you would not mind attending an alpha course and helping those who are exploring their faith.

"well enforcing it is an unfortunate move because really you are alienating people unnecessarily by implying they do not know enough about their faith to be sure they know how to bring up their baptised dc as a Christian. "

ZZenAgain we are all learning, even priests don't know everything. It is damm hard bring up children, yet alone trying to bring your children up as christians.

I did a mini alpha course a few years ago and it was good fun. Exploring the big questions is a challenge for anyone's faith.

Is the timing of the alpha course inconvient to you? Surely its nice to meet other christians other than in a church setting.

I didn't think that a priest could actually refuse to baptise a child of a parent on the electoral roll, or a parent who is living in the parish.

I can see that the alpha is a good idea for random punters who want a baptism because that's what you do/MIL said so/its a nice party etc etc, to help them understand that actually they're making some pretty big promises about bringing their child up to know and follow Jesus.

It sounds as though you don't fall into that category though, so perhaps have a chat with the new vicar and explain that you understand the gospel and what it means to bring your child up as a Christian. If he's new, maybe he doesn't realise you've been going for a while?

And if he still insists you do the alpha, maybe give it a try for a few weeks? You might really enjoy the time and the space to get back to basics.

Or maybe go for baby thanksgiving/dedication instead, without the alpha? We had our kids dedicated as a show of our commitment, and that leaves baptism as their choice if they choose to follow Jesus.

If you are traditional CofE you might well not want to do Alpha, which is very evangelical

I do know people have had to go to classes before having their dc baptised but they def weren't regular church attenders. I do think that the vicar does need to be clear with parents what the baptism means because of being accountable to God for it?

Compulsary attendance to an Alpha course is it bit strange, I could understand them wanting to run through the basics so they knew that you had the same beliefs as the church.

It's all a bit

You know you can baptise your child yourself don't you?

You prolly wouldn't want to, but if you tell the vicar you will unless he/she stops this nonsense then she'll probably give in.

I should think it is unusual to insist on this tbh

I would be inclined to give the vicar the benefit of the doubt and arrange for a chat. However you have said two regulars have already left the church because of this new rule and I get the impression he is intransigent about it.

Shame really if you felt at home in that church up to now. Hope you find a solution you are happy with