To think BF-ing a 2yr old is, um, weird?

[Lucy85]

Well what do you think? I know it's a very emotive subject, but I've seen it a couple of times and it makes me come over all strange.
I BFed my baby exclusively until 7 months when I went back to work, but the thought of doing it now is just plain odd, - not wrong, it's just I can't imagine doing it to someone who can walk, talk, get their own drinks, eats proper food and is too big to lie sideways on my lap.

CrazyCatLady good luck with that, I think it would be great

So given that extended bf is child led if a child wanted to breast feed until he/she was say 10 would anyone??? 12??

I have met a fair few extended breastfeeders and some of them have been quite strange. The first one I ever met and said she loved it so much she wished she never had to stop! I personally thought that was extremely weird. In the end she had another child when her child was 4 and then when the next one was 4 she had another kid. She has been breastfeeding continiously for 11 years now

fascile - I'm not entirely sure what I think. I haven't really studied it in enough detail to have a definite opinion. I'm not especially bothered either way to be honest.

I don't disagree with any of your other points.

If more people die extended breast feeding it wouldn't be perceived as weird. Until they do, those who chose to do so, WILL encounter prejudice and be thought of as weird.

Kooks a question for you:
are we weird BECAUSE we fed our children for as long as we and our children wanted to rather than bleatingly accepting the social norm (imagine! the very idea! carrying on doing something lovely and healthy EVEN THOUGH OTHER PEOPLE DISAPPROVE )
or is it vice versa?
seriously, you KNOW what you can do with your uneducated and ignorant rudeness about my choices

but such offensiveness rudeness, on here OR in public, IS terribly hurtful. REALLY hurtful. You all MUST know that, yes? When you come on here and say - it's creepy, it's weird, it says something about my relationship with my partner (What? exactly?) and all those other nasty things - you KNOW it is hurtful, but presumably you just don't GIVE a shit, right.
Shame on you.

CoupleofKooks - people using wheelchairs are pointed at and whispered about. People speaking different languages and having different skin colours are pretty much the norm around here, but where they are unusual they might be stared at and whispered about. People comment on the unusual.

Everyone deserves respect and tolerance and not to be called names and insulted.

I didn't say that it is good that people will point and whisper. I said people WILL point and whisper.

And I said the OP was not being unreasonable in THINKING it's weird. Not necessarily RIGHT but not unreasonable.

well she didn't JUST think it. She came on here to ask if was unreasonable and she wrote it down so lots of other people could read her opinion.
Then lots of others agreed with her.
sometimes I think slightly unpleasant things.
I have control over how I express them, though, and I would be mortified if I accidentally expressed an offensive and hurtful opinion "out loud" on a public forum where many thousands of people would read it.
wouldn't anyone be horrified in those circumstances?

at the OP and the rest of the squeamish posters.

I breastfed-to-sleep 21 month old dd today at a noisy birthday party for 5yos.

Dunno know if any of the other mums noticed. Dunno if any of them cared.

Don't care if any of them had opinions like yours.

harpsichordcarrier - that's what this forum is FOR though isn't it? Testing views and ideas where you don't offend people in real life.

harpsichordcarrier - was the post addressed to Kooks meant to be addressed to somebody else?

Also at 16:33 "If more people die extended breast feeding" should have been "If more people do extended breast feeding"

Obv.

HC i've been waiting 2 days for you to get here my dear

Coalition you said "You are doing something outside social norms, so they are not being unreasonable in being surprised, interested, or even offended."
you are now saying that you never said it is GOOD for them to point and whisper

which is it? reasonable or not?

and what do you think the people responding to you here are, if not real people in real life? do you think we are kind of pro-breastfeeding droids or something, lined up for you to take a pot shot at, to see how it feels?

i'm glad we've cleared up the thing about more people dying from extended breastfeeding
that could have even put me off, i think

oh and to answer your very lovely question about whether we do breastfeeding for too long because we are weird, or whether we have become weird through icky old breastfeeding, i think probably the second, in my case
i find being marginalised and sneered at for perfectly reasonable choices which i make, tends to make me feel more extremist and less liable to go along quietly with other stupid social norms
it's a slippery slope you know

I still think there is a huge assumption about whether or not people think it is weird to breastfeed beyond 12 months.
OK some people do, but it still doesn't follow that all people do.
Just because people are intrigued at the unusual doesn't mean they think the unusual is weird.
Just to give a couple of examples:
One of my friends is still breastfeeding her 2.5 year old and people at her toddler group don't bat an eyelid. So perhaps it depends on the group involved.
Many women in their eighties breastfed for over a year, so it would be strange to think they find extended breastfeeding weird.
Obviously, I don't know whether they secretly think it is weird, but equally, I we can't assume that they do.
I still think it is a sweeping assumption that people, without exclusion, think extended breastfeeding is weird rather than merely unusual or even laudable.
Do we have a choice of responses or it weird and not weird?

In response to the OP, and coming from the point of view of someone who has been unable to breastfeed, I would just like to say that I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing for many reasons, and even though I don?t think I?ve ever seen a toddler breastfed, if I did I?m sure I would smile (and be a bit impressed) rather than find it weird. We are mothers with babies, and nature intrinsically guides us. I don?t find it weird, but I?m sad that it?s unusual - how lovely to be able to share that bond with your child, and what a great physical and emotional foundation for that child growing up to be a young person. I wish I could have breastfed my little boy, and certainly would never throw judgement on anybody who can and does for as long as it suits their family. I don?t think ?unreasonable? applies to the op, though (other than the use of the word ?weird? which I think was ill-judged) - in our society we are conditioned to sneer at things which aren?t the perceived norm. If it wasn?t for women like these fantastic mothers who continue to breastfeed their children for as long as their children want it, then there would be no progression in attitudes and social ?normals?. I find it sad, that fellow Mums and breastfeeders would cast judgement in this way.
In response to posters who have claimed it?s ?for the mother not the child? - first of all, I disagree with that, but secondly - so what? Mothers are people too! why shouldn?t they get something out of it. Surely it?s the best of all things if Mum and baby are both happy?

To whoever asked about BFing a 10y/o - if that was a genuine point/question, it's a moot point as it's physically impossible, when IIRC the jaw changes to accommodate adult teeth, around age 6 I think but it varies a lot. So they literally can't latch on anymore (can be quite distressing for the child)

presumably an adult (should they wish to try?!) wouldn't be able to get milk out of a breast?

I don't mind too much what other people thought about how and when I fed my children be it three months or three years.

I decided quite along time ago that the uninvited views of others were of little import to me.

When I have heard such views expressed though ( ooh er expressed ) I have often thought that women who get weird about slightly older children breast feedings had worryingly confused attitudes around breasts and sexuality. So I tend to think they are a bit weird. I worry about them watching toddlers breastfeeding and havingto do up their cardigans a bit tighter and slap them selves with a copy of Heat Magazine, maybe watching harry Hill until they can get the image out of their head.

But perhaps thats just me.

Still it is quite nice isn't it? They are worrying about extended feeding and I am worrying about them worrying about it. I wonder if anyone is worrying about me?
MN is quite supportive when you think about it.

By TheCoalitionNeedsYou Sat 26-Jun-10 16:51:43
harpsichordcarrier - that's what this forum is FOR though isn't it? Testing views and ideas where you don't offend people in real life.

sorry, that's a TOTAL copout. The people reading these posts ARE real people, they DO get offended, hurt, weep, laugh, all of that.
We aren't internet sprites, you know

This forum is "for" a lot of things, but one of its purposes is not to give ignorant people an outlet to hurt other people without facing the consequences.
I am prepared to be corrected on that one

dc3 who is nearly 4 y old still bf and I do think she is weird. And I think she thinks it's a bit weird because she tries to hide it from dh and other people, but that's probably because she realises they think it's weird....

CoupleofKooks - "and what do you think the people responding to you here are, if not real people in real life? do you think we are kind of pro-breastfeeding droids or something, lined up for you to take a pot shot at, to see how it feels?"

Basically, yes. You have all come here knowing what this particular forum is like. I've not criticised anyone's choices, I don't think I have said anything personal about anyone and haven't criticsed extended breast feeding. So I don't know who I can have hurt, even if you WERE real people.

"not being unreasonable in being surprised, interested, or even offended." != " GOOD for them to point and whisper"

Kooks - who was the answer to the question directed to btw? It was below a post addressed to me, but I haven't asked that question.

No time to read whole thread but so infuriated by the title I couldn't leave.

Of COURSE it's not weird you uptight loon.

I fed mine 4 at 2, 3 and even once fed dd at 4. She had a terrible fall in the playground. I still had milk as was feeding various toddlers at the time.

Great resource. We need to work hard to lose these hang ups.