To think BF-ing a 2yr old is, um, weird?

[Lucy85]

Well what do you think? I know it's a very emotive subject, but I've seen it a couple of times and it makes me come over all strange.
I BFed my baby exclusively until 7 months when I went back to work, but the thought of doing it now is just plain odd, - not wrong, it's just I can't imagine doing it to someone who can walk, talk, get their own drinks, eats proper food and is too big to lie sideways on my lap.

RobynLou I can assure you I am by no means lazy or uncritical. Like I said at no point did I take the article to mean all ebf or bf. To me the article wasn't worth more than ok, turn the page and forget about it. You of course are entitled to your opinion about both the article itself and me - neither of which I will try to change.

Haven't caught up with whole thread but one thing stands out to me.

The rationale given by posters who think ebf is odd tends to be based on gut reactions and guessing possible unpleasant consequences.

Whereas the rationale given by posters who think it's perfectly normal tends to be based on facts, often (even mostly?) scientific.

My brother was bf till he was 3 which was very unusual in Ireland in the mid 80's. He does remember being bf but has not lived at home fulltime since he was 17, is now 28, living abroad and rarely phones my poor mother!

Do you think the lack of contact is related to ebf your brother chipmonkey? My Dd will probably never speak to me again once she's turned 16!

My own Dad was bf until he was 4yo. He was born and brought up in India within a very well educated and somewhat wealthy family. It was the done thing.

perhaps chipmonkey meant that ebfing your child does not mean setting them up for a lifetime of dependency, as has been implied on the thread!

I have read bits of the thread but not all of it, it is interesting to me as I know a few people who are ebf, some who just feed morning and night and others that feed on demand throughout the day. I fed DS1 until 18 months and would have like to continue but he completely lost interest, even in short feeds. Generally, I feel that the limit for me is up to starting school - I don't really know why, I suppose because it is a milestone tied in with independence and seperating from you, etc (even if they have been in childcare...you are still in control, which is not the case so much with school)

THe main thing I think when people get all uppity about ebf is "why do you care?"

Good point CoupleofKook.s

When my kids were old enough to ASK for boobie then they were too old for boobie.When do people stop bottlefeeding? when do people stop putting nappies on their kids? FFS cut the cord and apronstrings and let your children free.

No, no, no solo, if I thought that I wouldn't have ebf my own! I was responding to the earlier idea that some newspaper article had implied that ebf would foster an unhealthy dependence on the mother.
Come to think about it, BIL was only bf for 6 weeks and he still lives at home at nearly 50!

Earlier on DS1 asked me for some dinner, so of course I said no and sent him to bed hungry. Gotta cut those apron strings!!

And I know many more children that have had a bottle until the age of 7 than I do have been BF until the same age.

So dexie, if I ask dh for wine, which I am about to do, does that mean I am too old for wine? I do hope not!

But I will do as you suggest and cut the apron strings. From tomorrow onwards, ds3 and ds4 aged 5 and 2, will be fully independent and will be expected to find employment to support themselves.

Lol @ 50yo BIL still at home!

dexi, my own Dd actually chooses to bf still. If I try/ied to stop her, I'd have war declared! it's not about apron strings it's about choice for both Mum and child.

In order to cut those apron strings from my nearly 2yo and set her off toward independence, I will also have to stop wiping her bottom.

now you know that this is going to end in tears.

My DS first word was 'boob'.
What an achievement that first word is.
The new found ability to express his desires in a way I could not mistake.

So, dexie, I should have rewarded that momentous occasion by denying him what he asked for?

I breastfed DS1 until he was 21months old and only stopped because I got thrush and it was painful. I'd have happily continued, even though at the start I would have agreed with the OP that it was a very weird thing to do. DS1 is now 14 and is extremely independent, practically and emotionally. I have always found it quite easy to let him grow up and move on. I don't hanker after his babyhood at all. Both of us have had our fill of each other, in a way. Similar story with DS2.

my dd was able to 'ask' very loudly for a bf from a few hours old

so just because a child can form a word in the language of his parents that resembles a request for food, they are now too old to have milk? what about the day before they formed the word? are they ok to have milk then?

A friend of mine who is usually pretty open minded said "but you are going to stop once he can talk aren't you?"

She's not a mum and hadn't really thought it through - it was a gut reaction I think. It did make me think about this attitude though.

I suspect people like my friend and dexifehatz have a problem with feeding talking children, because they feel that boobs are really for sex, so while it's OK to let babies 'borrow' your boobs while they're too young to be conscious of what they're doing, letting a conscious being feed from a breast is something else altogether. They feel that if the child knows what they're doing it's not right somehow, because boobs are too closely linked to sex in their minds. The child might even (shock horror!) remember it when they get older!

A family member of mine was worried about feeding her baby in front of his older brother (age 5) as she thought it would be too weird for him (in the end she FF, encouraged by the MW).

I think it's pretty sad that people have these kind of attitudes in our society. There can't be anything more natural than feeding a baby, but in our culture we have twisted it to be something abnormal, which is tragic really IMO.

As I said earlier in the thread, before I had DD I do remember saying I thought once a child could ask it was to old to bf.....I have now completely changed my mind on that (and many other things I thought about babies/children before I had one!)

ooooh, good point, Robyn!

So in effect dexie you punish them for being able to articulate what they want. Might make them less likely to articulate anything else because of the consequences they might face. Interesting........

The whole "it isn't necessary" argument is so silly. Is there any single component of a diet that couldn't be described as such and substituted with something else?

Broccoli? Nice and healthy, full of nutrients, posibly even protective elements, but - unnecessary. You won't die without it. Plenty of people never touch the stuff yet live healthy lives. Give it up.
Meat?
Bread?
Apples?
Juice?
Dairy?

All the same. Unnecessary.

How ludicrous to suggest excluding something which has real benefit, and is plainly desired by the child on the basis that it is 'unnecessary'.

It's just a part of life, a part of parenting, a part of diet. Some kids get it, some don't. All eventually give it up of their own volition naturally if not forced to do so early. No biggie.

What about women in rural Africa/India/South America etc
who routinely breastfeed children well over the age of two - is that weird? The difference, of course, as lowrib points out, is that in our society breasts are primarily sexual rather than maternal. Our distaste at extended breastfeeding has more to do with this, IMO, than with concern about 'apron strings' and the like.

I think it's a bit wierd too and I don't have a problem with breastfeeding in general.

I'm trying to figure out why I have an instinctive 'noo' to the various forms of 'infantilising children' that TSC and others have been debating.

Rightly or wrongly, I do get an involuntarily inward shudder at the sight of anything other than a baby with a dummy (e.g. my friend's 20 month old wandering round the garden with one last week), a bottle, or at the thought (haven't ever seen so this is just supposition) of a 2+ year old demand breast feeding.

I agree that bm is far better than cow's milk so ebf does make sense, I think it's the demand aspect I have more of an issue with but I'm not clear why.

And as I've said before, I really don't understand why ebf sometimes/often teach their DC to use the word 'boob/boobie' rather than milk.

None of this is meant to be judgemental or offensive - I'm just trying to get answers to questions that are swirling around my head now as I'm mentally preparing myself to meet (and bf) DC2 in a few weeks!

Gracious, people do come up with arbitrary measures of when a child 'ought' to be weaned, don't they? My DS started talking at age 10 mos. I know children who started walking at age 9 mos (this is the normal walking age in many African countries, actually). As someone said above, a baby can 'ask' for milk within hours of birth. At what point, then, between a few hours old and let's say (for the sake of argument) 10 months old, do the anti-ebf peole think is the 'right' time to wean a baby?

Where on earth do people get these ideas from? Oh, yes: they make them up. I'd rather trust the proven facts on bfing, thank you very much.

To put paid to this apron strings nonsense, perhaps we should change this discussion to: What factors in parenting actually (i.e. not in some people's imaginations) make a child 'overly' dependent on their parents? Lack of connection with parents (not related to bfing, that one)? Insecurity? Bullying? Domestic abuse? Low academic ability? Physical or mental disability? Illness? I'm sure ebf will come very low down on the list.