Was IBU to hide from DD?

[julybutterfly]

Was in a shop earlier with DD (3 1/2), she kept running off even though I told her to stay with me. So, when I saw her run off again I hid. I could see her at ALL times even though she couldn't see me. She was going from aise to aisle (about 3) and then headed to the exit which is when I got a bit closer. She didn't go out of the exit but stood and burst into tears. When she did that I made sure I stood where she could see me but pretended I didn't know she'd been 'lost'.

Once she saw me she ran up to me saying she thought she'd lost me and couldn't see me. I told her that maybe next time she would stay where she could see me and listen when I said I was moving somewhere else.

Another lady overheard this and told me I was 'mean' and that I would probably traumatise my DD 'by playing that game'.

Was I being unreasonable?!

BTW, don't children just hate clothes shopping!

cat64 I let go of her hand to look at clothes

Yes she is capable of standing by my side, she chose not to

I watch her constantly and knew where she'd run off to so was taking no risk as far as I'm concerned

And she normally loves browsing through clothes and knew we were shopping for her so it normally holds her attention!

I don't think this was unreasonable and I would do the same thing - I think you have safely demonstrated to your daughter the consequence of running away from you. It is not always possible to keep hold of a small child and you need to trust that she will stay with you - I also hate 'leads' for children.

YABU on so many levels.

I really don't understand why you thought that would be a good idea.

She WILL remember. It HASN'T traumatised her for life. It WILL help in the future and you can gently remind her of the time she 'lost' you when she ran off in that shop!

Frankly, I don't think you were unreasonable.

sorry but I agree, YABU.
I can't imagine watching a child distressed and upset and not going to them immidiately and telling them it's all ok.

I didn't stand watching her sob, as soon as she started crying I stood in her line of sight and she saw me.

Of course I wouldn't assume she'd think what you'd said but I am more than sure she'd be able to deduce that running away from mummy means mummy might not be able to see her and vice versa

"as soon as she started crying....."
awww she'd been trying to be brave

Look, you're only getting such a pasting because it's late, it's narly the end of the week and it's been hot today. people are tired and grumpy, prone to hyperbole, and statistically at LEAST 1/4 will be hormonal.

if I were you, I'd just go to bed.

July - please do some reading about impulse control and what to expect from a three year old. Because she just isn't capable of standing meekly still for ages (what feels like a few minutes to you is AGES to her) while you browse the clothes rails. You already know she's got a tendency to wander off, you refuse to use a wrist strap, afraid that means you have to keep any eye on her all the time.

Actually, thinking about it, in a way you are the one who got distracted here, not her! If you won't use reins or a wrist strap, than you will have to concentrate on her, not on clothes.

ok...being stupid and childless here, but what is so wrong with reins and wrist straps? Used both with DNs - frankly was choice between that and valium if I was going to take them out and would've probably been less safe with latter. 3 seems awfully young to stay put in a shop - 27 feels awfully young for me, if I'm not buying anything myself.

Cock sure is the words I'd use with DD.

I feel guilty. I don't want anyone to think I don't. But I still think it was the right way to go.

I guess it's different strokes for different children and, as far as I'm concerned now, we all know our own children more than others do.

GP, the most valuable lessons in life are those which you remember. Hence if a child was momentarily scared, she will remember it and is unlikely to want to repeat the behaviour which made her scared.

Whether you own children are thick is a question only you can answer.

july, do you not feel that you looked a bit of a twat, when that woman saw you hiding?

No not at all carrie. Seriously she normally loves shopping and has armfulls of clothes to 'try on'

I'm guessing it was hot, she was tired and had had enough.

I still disagree with the wriststraps but I wont do it again!

well you've got front, i'll give you that!

i think your dd gets her headstrong personality from you?

FWIW, i would have told the lady that her opinion was neither required nor desired. but i am in foul mood tonight.

Being actually lost is not the same as pretending to loose your DC for a few moments

seems a bit sick to me, to induce fear and upset into your own child on purpose.

But the DC don't know that it's pretend funnys.

Anyway July has said that she feels guilty about it and wouldn't do it again.