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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my neighbour is an nasty piece of work

99 replies

Lpsmum · 17/06/2010 21:47

I have an 18 month old who is finding his confidence on his feet and is naturally inquisitive and likes exploring etc. We live on a newish estate and in this sunny weather DS loves nothing more than taking me/hubby for a walk. Yesterday after inspecting a neighbours driveway (not causing any trouble, no car there, didn't touch anything) the miserable lady came out to DH and DS to ask what they were doing and not to come back onto their property again. Fair enough, I always try and divert DS anyway but DH agreed he'd steer clear too if it was a problem. Anyway 10 pm last night there's hammering on the door, woke me (pregnant and knackered) and DS and it's the miserable womans husband basically threatening us to stay of his proerty! WTF? Has he never heard of a polite word at a reasonable hour? He gets home from work at 6ish so why come at this time? We only live next door but one and explained to the woman that DS was just exploring. AIBU to still be fuming 24 hrs later at his rudeness?

OP posts:
BusyMissIzzy · 17/06/2010 21:52

YANBU. Complete overreaction and very odd behaviour on their part.

Tombliboob · 17/06/2010 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Maylee · 17/06/2010 21:56

YANBU. Some people are just exceptionally protective...odd....aggressive.....drunk....

Keep away from them if you can.

xstitch · 17/06/2010 21:57

YANBU. I would call the police non emergency line tbh and report it. I have become intolerant of rudeness and aggression in my old age.

Tombliboob · 17/06/2010 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DinahRod · 17/06/2010 22:01

Nice neighbours! Hope they never need any neighbourly help.

How threatening were they? Although tempted to inform PCSO it probably would just escalate matters. But do make sure everyone knows they've threatened dh, a pregnant woman and an 18m old child.

Original poster
Lpsmum · 17/06/2010 22:03

tombliboob you are right that peoples property is private and we shouldn't let DS drag us there but sometimes it's just easier to prevent a tantrum.
All DS does is to walk up and down any new path/steps/driveway and repeat until we can distract him so not really causing any harm (although I admit you're not to know that from inside your living room)

OP posts:
jonicomelately · 17/06/2010 22:07

This is so sad. I often wonder what makes some people so angry. What kind of fucked up mentality do they have?

Having said that I'm not sure what you could 'report' the husband for tbh.

Oh, and the irony of him walking down your driveway and hammering on your door at a late hour is mind-boggling.

violethill · 17/06/2010 22:12

Agree with Tombliboob - the neighbour sounds ghastly and the reaction is way OTT, but I also wouldn't let my child 'take me for a walk' up someone's driveway - I don't think it's ever too early to teach a child that some places are ok to walk and some aren't

tinkletinklelittlestar · 17/06/2010 23:20

Hmm. Maybe you need to kill with kindness here? Just do it once. Knock on their door in the daytime and say 'oh, our LO is so inquisitive and sorry if it annoyed you. It won't happen again. Anyway, if you ever need anything just pop round'. If they are still being arseholes after that, ignore them.

booyhoo · 17/06/2010 23:31

this really aggravates me. what harm, reallly, was a baby going to do by walking up someone's drive and back down again? do they not have any sense of community? one day they might have an inquisitive child/grandchild visiting who wants to investigate your drive. surely it would be far nicer to be able to smile and greet your neighbour whilst the child played than to have to quickly usher them away and avoid eyecontact.

(can you tell i have a horrible nasty neighbour?)

Northernlurker · 17/06/2010 23:44

Some people are just horrible. Don't let it upset you. Your ds sounds lovely

justsue · 18/06/2010 02:45

dont let it upset you yanbu x

mathanxiety · 18/06/2010 04:29

Are they cooking meth in there?

diamondsandtiaras · 18/06/2010 07:16

YANBU. I recon he's got a body burried under his driveway.

ditavonteesed · 18/06/2010 07:25

dat thats what I was thinking.

ScentedLovePuff · 18/06/2010 10:01

OMG YANBU! What horrible people!

Next time you are passing with DS and he so much as moves towards their drive say (loudly) "No DS, dont go on there, thats where the nasty old cow and her impotent husband life"

Tee hee

ScentedLovePuff · 18/06/2010 10:02

Live, even. Not life...

whomovedmychocolate · 18/06/2010 10:08

YANBU but perhaps they are really worried about being burgled or your child being injured and them getting sued (trying to put positive spin on them being unpleasants gits here).

I would suggest they moved to the estate from somewhere where they have problem child neighbours and want to 'nip it in the bud' if they think there will be a problem.

Totally unreasonable to come round late at night (suggests glug glug psychosis) and I'd just avoid them if I were you.

Maybe just go online and order them a few gate brochures though. Just to be neighbourly!

SolidGoldBrass · 18/06/2010 11:42

I think both you and he are unreasonable TBH. If someone was trotting their toddler up and down my front steps I would open the door and tell them to fuck off out of it (OK, probably more politely than that, but I would ask them what they thought they wer doing and to go away...) - if I don;t know you, I don't want you in my front garden, thanks.
However I wouldn't go stomping round late at night to shout at someone who had done that - I'd just deal with them at the time.

mathanxiety · 18/06/2010 16:35

Yawl should relax and visit the US, where people are a lot more chilled, for the most part, about private property, incursions by toddlers onto same. Go to a suburb where there are older houses, front porches, alleys behind the houses...

Downdog · 18/06/2010 16:43

YANBU - How dreadful for you!! They sound a few pencils short of a picnic to me.

welshdeb · 18/06/2010 16:45

Well it's not too early to teach yr ds it's not ok to wander onto other peoples property. However yr neighbour is totally u. His wife had already had a word and that time of night is just ott.

welshdeb · 18/06/2010 16:45

Well it's not too early to teach yr ds it's not ok to wander onto other peoples property. However yr neighbour is totally u. His wife had already had a word and that time of night is just ott.

Ripeberry · 18/06/2010 16:52

They should not have been on the drive, full stop. But then we used to have a postman years ago who used to walk along everyone's gardens (on a slope) as they did not have fences, so that he did not have to keep going up and down steps.
Sounds like the neighbour had too much to drink and had the wife NAGGING him all evening about it and he just went and did it when he felt brave enough.
Bet he reqrets it now.
Go and see them and say sorry about all the trouble, if they still F and blind, then they are nutters and if they don't like it they can build a wall, put up a fence or MOVE!