To speak firmly to my friends child in a restaurant about his behaviour?

[BrownPaperandString]

Her and my DCs are 2.

Her DS kept leaning in to and pawing at my DS while he was trying to eat and generally being up and down, jumping about, leaning across the table, tipping drinks over etc.

His mum was trying the distraction technique but it wasn't working (it never usually does!).

Anyway - DS was starting to get annoyed, so i just said very firmly to her DS 'please leave DS alone, sit down there and let him eat his dinner!'. I said it in a very firm tone and the one I would have used if he was messing about. Everyone was rather taken aback I think.

Suddenly thought my friend might have been rather peed off. AIBU?

Although not the end of the world, I personally think YABU and with the Mums I know this would have gone down really, really badly. The reason being they are 2, he may have been over tired, bored and overawed with the restaurant situation and it is really for his Parent to discipline him in such a way.

Have you answered if it actually worked and he started sitting down eating after you said it.

If it was me, I wouldn't have minded you telling my child off in a firm way if they deserved it but I would feel quite embarrassed that they hadn't done it for me/I hadn't told them off etc.
With others' kids, I would tell them firmly if they were in danger and if they were being unkind and the parent did/said nothing, I would say something like "I think we'll be kind to each other shall we?" in a stern teacher type voice.

although I wouldn't agree that you needed to say something because your DS was under major threat. More that if DS sees that behaviour as being OK, he'll want to do the same, or might be confused as to why he can't.

I suppose because, just as we don't paw our friends and lean in their faces when they're eating, we also try not to upset them.

thesecondcoming, I was talking about upsetting the mother... totally agree that the little boy needed to be told, I just think it's a question of how you go about it.

To me it's not so much about protecting your child from what is, at the end of the day, hardly something dangerous (although, down the line, the activity could well be a more dangerous one). It's more about whether you're - either of you - going to want to meet up again.

meet up again in a restaurant, I meant.

YANBU, but I suppose that you humiliated the child's mother by highlightening her ineffectual parenting. I can totally see why you did it though and at least your ds got to eat his lunch without further irritation.