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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really upset at finding dh porm dvd loyalty card?

48 replies

upset123 · 10/06/2010 18:24

I am so annoyed dh had lost his bank card so we were looking everywhere for it. I looked through his wallet again and came across a naughty n nice DVD customer loyalty card!

I am so mad as it was only about 3 months ago we had a row over porn mags I had found in his draw.

I know men look at the odd thing like this - but a loyalty card seems excessive.

I am so annoyed but feel really slighted by it.

OP posts:
Original poster
upset123 · 10/06/2010 18:25

drawer that is

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 10/06/2010 18:28

Oh, some men like to have a sneaky wank to slutty porn. Its not their fault, they are just men. As long as he fancies you for who you are and has sex with you as much as you'd like him to, I'd just let it go.

Original poster
upset123 · 10/06/2010 18:29

and obviously should say porn - not sure if too angry or upset to type.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 10/06/2010 18:32

Loyalty card? Is it a hire place? Like a sainsbury nectar card or tesco clubcard??

Wonder how many points he's got!

beanlet · 10/06/2010 18:38

Good god -- hasn't he heard of free internet porn?

Original poster
upset123 · 10/06/2010 18:41

6 stamps - seems you get a stamp everytime you buy one - get 10 and you get a free DVD!!

OP posts:
Original poster
upset123 · 10/06/2010 18:42

He is not very IT literate- no idea when he gets time to watch the dvds

OP posts:
Quodlibet · 10/06/2010 18:48

YANBU. I would be furious. I object to porn on ideological and political grounds and would hate my DP to be supporting an industry that portrays women like that. He knows I feel like this (and respects how I feel).

I disagree, Sloany, that 'it's not their fault, they're just men'.
They're adults who think and make choices and it's a really dangerous line of thought to let men off expressing their sexual urges inappropriately because 'it's not their fault.'

(yup, out and out feminist here.)

Upset, why exactly don't you like him watching/looking at porn? Have you discussed the reasons you don't like it with him?

SloanyPony · 10/06/2010 18:54

I dont believe its their fault that they like it. Men are programmed to appreciate slutty visual stuff. They are more driven by it than women, its a scientific fact with numerous studies to back it up.

I dont mean that they cant control whether or not they actually go and buy it or not. Perhaps I didn't express that well.

Sure its their choice whether or not they look at it, but its not illegal, so it is a choice. Whether that choice is wrong or not is really down to the individual.

DrNortherner · 10/06/2010 18:55

Well I too consider myself a feminist, but one with no issues whatsoever around porn.

It does not upset me one bit that my dh looks at porn. I know he does. I know most of his mates do.

Yuo can not control another persons thoughts or fantasies.

Alouiseg · 10/06/2010 18:57

It's just wank fodder. Most men like visuals, personally my preference is stories but if dh objected to me reading them I'd be extremely pissed off.

MillyR · 10/06/2010 18:59

I am not sure that I can really be bothered to go this whole argument again. I am not sure I can be bothered to ask SloanyPony to go and get me the links to academic articles in peer reviewed journals that demonstrates that men are 'programmed to appreciate slutty stuff.'

I will just express my astonishment that the sex industry is now so mainstream that they even have loyalty cards.

RockRose · 10/06/2010 19:02

sorry, shouldn't laugh, but a porn DVD Loyalty card pmsl. Heard it all now.

RumourOfAHurricane · 10/06/2010 19:03

This reply has been deleted

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RumourOfAHurricane · 10/06/2010 19:04

This reply has been deleted

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DrNortherner · 10/06/2010 19:06

But he was being discreet. She didn't find him enjoying himself, she just found his loyalty card.

Do they really exsist by the way?

I'd be more miffed he was spending ££££ when it's available for free on line.

AndreaisSlowlyLosingIt · 10/06/2010 19:10

are programmed to watch porn, proof www.couplescompany.com/jungle/jungle/men_and_porn/porn1.htm

RockRose · 10/06/2010 19:10

wonder what he gets when he collected x amount of points?! Hilarious really. OP you should really confront hi and take the piss out of him to his face. I would if that was my dh.

AndreaisSlowlyLosingIt · 10/06/2010 19:11

Oooh failed

Proof men are programmed for pornwww.couplescompany.com/jungle/jungle/men_and_porn/porn1.htm

MillyR · 10/06/2010 19:14

Well that has got to be the most feeble attempt at providing evidence on MN I have ever seen. You are actually posting to a link which is not only not academic or based or any kind of research, but discusses men's desires in the context of biblical teaching.

That link should win some kind of MN award for utter stupidity.

OrientCalf · 10/06/2010 19:16

that 'article' is bollocks

OrientCalf · 10/06/2010 19:16

x-post

posieparker · 10/06/2010 19:21

Men are programmed.....fucking hell, so if I look at man through the ages I'll be able to see pornographic cave paintings?

DrNortherner · 10/06/2010 19:23

Pornographic cave paintings - yes
Pornographic images from ancient egypt - yes
Pornographic paintings from Elizabethan times - yes

Men like porn, internet stats speak for themselves

Alouiseg · 10/06/2010 19:23

Lol, you will actually Pp!

Anyway all of the outraged brigade what do you use to, ahem, masturbate too/with?

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