to be really upset at finding dh porm dvd loyalty card?

[upset123]

I am so annoyed dh had lost his bank card so we were looking everywhere for it. I looked through his wallet again and came across a naughty n nice DVD customer loyalty card!

I am so mad as it was only about 3 months ago we had a row over porn mags I had found in his draw.

I know men look at the odd thing like this - but a loyalty card seems excessive.

I am so annoyed but feel really slighted by it.

Hey, some woman even like porn too.

Paleolithic Porn

That'll teach me to say something flippant! Just wikied it and loads of it is homoerotic, and I am loving how big a man's penis was in Pompei.

I do understand that mens desires are born out of what they see rather than anything else and I do understand that procreation comes from a desire to, well, have sex. But a loyalty card is quite pathetic, especially with he amount of free porn online.

I do understand that mens desires are born out of what they see rather than anything else and I do understand that procreation comes from a desire to, well, have sex. But a loyalty card is quite pathetic, especially with he amount of free porn online.

Confronted him about it - said it was old - pre our relationship etc. Looked sheepish.

Thanks for all the responses made me put into perspective suppose I was overeacting a bit.

pmsl
(sorry)

can't you just slate him for it? I'd be laughing for days

It was supposed to say "its not their fault they are just being men" not "just men". Apologies - what I was trying to say (quickly because all hell is breaking loose around me) is that men are generally turned on by the visual side of porn and like another poster pointed out, you can't control their fantasies so it wouldn't matter what it was that turned him on, its not his "fault" that that turns him on. Sure its his choice whether or not he partakes of it, but its not his fault he likes it. I stand by that statement even if it was hastily typed and not well structured.

Try this link if you must have a link.

By the way, I'm not saying I approve of porn - I dont like it, I have various beliefs that sexual assult against women has gotten worse since hard and violent porn has become more prevalant and neither me or my husband ever "use" it (that I am aware anyway!)

I was merely trying to reassure the OP that her partner is quite probably not "enjoying" porn because he prefers these women to her or expects her to look like them, or perform like them - but that, being a man, he is drawn to the strong response he gets from this visually arousing stimuli...

It didn't strike me that the OP had a political issue with it - if that is the case and her partner is aware of it, and they have agreed not to have it in the house or something because of it, different scenario altogether.

SP, weirdly that abstract doesn't call any women slutty or talk about people being programmed. Must just be you then.

Thanks for that link Dr Northerner. Those stats on child exposure to pornography, child pornography and internet addiction really do speak for themselves.

i like porn, secret porn not so muc. sharing is better!!

Can I take I a guess at your preferences from your name Rimmer08?

You are clutching at straws a bit there Milly, I feel. Its pretty obvious the general point I was trying to make about how men are turned on by the visuals provided by porn and that study more than backs it up.

It is perfectly possible to be a feminist and to not have a problem with porn.

I dont have a problem with porn - for other people dh's!! but not mine I would like to think I was 'enough' for him.

He might not have bought it normally...

...but it was a bargain!

If I were a man I'd rather be single than lumbered with a wife who tried to control my thoughts.

Lets not confuse porn (legal, consenting adults) with child porn. 2 completley different subjects.

YANBU. If you had already had an argument about it and he knows it upsets you then he should stop. That's what marriage is about. There are lots of things we would all like to do, but don't because of marriage/family - otherwise they'd fall apart. This has got nothing to do with "controlling thoughts" Dr Northerner, it's called compromise.

I personally don't like porn and wouldn't like it if I discovered DH was watching it. But I think the point applies to anything, not just porn.

Agree with Domestic Goddess's first point. I don't actually have any objections to my DP watching porn, but if a) I did, b) he was aware of that, c) we'd argued about it before and d) he claimed to have stopped and then I found one of these cards, I'd be pissed off too.

Porn to most men is nothing more than an aid for them to get off basically it is like a visual dildo. As men in general are more visually stimulated.

Of course there are people who go overboard and get addicted but then there are people who get addicted to things no matter what they are.

Been thinking about this situation a bit more over the last few days.

I think I have been so upset and angry about it because I have some insecurities.

I had a difficult birth with my daughter (not my dh's child) and since then I have had problems with prolapse and stress incontience - not really bad but we can say my pelvic floor is not what it was.

So the concern is does dh use porn rather than having sex with me - not a good thought. Sometimes when we do have sex he does not cum. I am worrying it is all too 'loose'.

We have a good relationship but I have never mentioned this fear to him as I feel to verbalise it might make it an issue and I don't want it on my mind during the 'act' and I am sure he would not want to thinking about my mild prolpse!

Sorry to waffle.