to not teach my DS any English

[DewinDoeth]

Ok, moved from another thread as it seems to have got people going!

DS is two and speaks quite a lot, but only in Welsh.

I live in a Welsh-speaking community, I'm a native speaker and Welsh is my first language (in fact I'm a lecturer in Welsh lang&lit), my entire family are Welsh. DS attends a Welsh medium nursery 2 days a week, and is cared for by my mother 2 days a week. And me the other days! None of the carers speak English with him.
My DH has learnt Welsh to near-fluency, and only speaks Welsh with DS: it gives DH a chance to improve (slowly, with an nonjudgmental speaker ) and has given him a massive confidence boost when it comes to it.
I am not teaching DS any English at all, and I never speak English with him. DS will learn English quite naturally, mainly from the television, or from hearing it around when there are people who don't speak Welsh. It's how it was with me and my English is of a very high standard (no doubt there will be grammatical errors in this post now - but I have an Oxbridge PhD so it can't be all bad).

PILs are not Welsh, live 250 miles away, and have expressed sadness that 'they can't communicate with him'.
They learnt to say hello and thank you in Nepalese when they went on holiday, but despite knowing me for 10 years and my family for 6, they have never learnt any words of Welsh at all, not please or thank you, and say it's pointless because it's a dead language, and it's not an useful language.

I really suspect they don't have much to do with English relatives.

However, I cannot be sure and I suspect OP won't be coming back.

'I would think that the fact that the PIL live so far away and presumably don't see the child that often would be more harmful to their relationship.'

If the OP really thought the distance between the GPs and GC was going to be harmful, then SURELY she should do everything she can to make it LESS harmful, for the sake of her DS and a harmonious family life. It seems to me she is doing the complete opposite - and intentionally so, IMO.

GPs (mostly ILs!)often seem to be blamed for living a long way away. In the majority of cases this is because the GPs DC have moved away. Surely then, the GPs DC should at least try to keep that relationship close, as it is by no fault of the GPs that they have ended up miles away.

(God I'm really confusing myself with all the GPs, DCs etc !)

This is a very small window of time, especially from an adult perspective, when the little boy can speak welsh but not english,and I still think if the OP and her husband want to raise their son using welsh at home,there are still plenty of ways for the grandparents to build a relationship with their grandchild.
Taking him out for a whole day at his age and when they do not see him regularly because of distance may not be the best way...
I agree with Sakura,that it does make a difference that this is Welsh,minority language and culture,surrounded entirely by English - dominant language,widely spoken,dominant culture too.

OP has gone off to rebuild Welsh defences to keep out marauding English...

Agree that crux of the matter is "do as you would be done by". Fast forward 20+ years and ds meets Japanese woman. Moves to Japan. Immerses self in Japanese family and culture. Has dc. OP told to speak Japanese to gc or else. Cannot take gc out because does not speak Japanese.

But something tells me that OP's son will never be allowed to travel beyond Monmouth...

what - all the way to Monmouth? (Don't exactly know where Monmouth is, but gets the idea!)

Can't the OP's son's grandparents teach him English?

I am planning that my MIL will be the one to speak to our child in Bengali and teach him/her that. She lives a 5 hour flight away, but as DH is happier speaking English there is really not much choice. I was thinking that if she visits twice a year, and we visit her twice a year (where there will be lots more Bengali spoken by others too), our child will learn as children learn languages so fast. Am I being hopelessly over optimistic?

Lol gramercy!

A little bit I think TW - I think for the Bengali to stick the dc will have to hear it everyday - or a lot anyway. Couples near me do one speaking Urdu and one English for this reason...

But it's different,gramercy! There is no reason to assume a half english child growing up in Japan,speaking only Japanese will ever learn English.But the OP's son will learn English(I think the ages given by posters who grew up in welsh speaking households,for when they could speak english , was at age 3-4?)

LOL Gramercy

I'm pretty uninterested in the Welsh aspect - more that one set of gps (from that orrible tribe called english) are being marginalised in the name of preserving one language or culture or whatever.

The kid won't suffer from not understanding enlgish now neither will he lack welsh or welshness by speaking english now.

So, I reckon that op should just do total immersion with ds and gps - he needs to know them and by making excuses he never will, English language or no English language. And this way he'll learn English.

FFS - I very much secondcoming re my ils and boy my mil takes every pleasure in reminding how backward my background/culture is - but ds still should have a relationship with her.

OP's ils saying welsh is a dead language or whatever is daft - nothing more than that.

Yep and the ils could learn a couple of welsh phrases. DS could learn a couple of english phrases - easy given he lives with a parent who as English as a first language. Not so easy for pils who don't live with Welsh speaking people.

I would never expect my mil to learn any english for ds.

TBH, by the time this thread comes to a close the OP's DS will probably be fluent in English...

,helyg!

lol helyg

I've only just found this thread and it's fascinating, DH spoke no English until he started school at 5, and I made a huge effort to learn and speak Welsh to my boys when they were small. The main problem being that when they get a bit older they tell me I'm embarassing them when I do 'cos my pronunciation isn't perfect.

At work (Bronglais for all you Aber fans) it's very common to have older people who have 'lost' their English as they get older and more unwell so I had to learn how to do the basics in Welsh for them.

My parents (English) STILL ask me 'If they have to be bilingual why couldn't they learn french' I don't think they understand that there aren't many native speakers of Welsh around here!

Pogleswood - you are right it WILL be a different scenario to the Japanese one, once the OPs DS learns English. But currently its exactly the same scenario. And right now is when the GPs and GS need to be building a relationship - not in 2 years time.

French not Welsh doh!

lostinwales - you have a LOT of reading to do.....

I got to page 10 Jamie, but I have stuff to do, preferably this century!

Is there a very exciting bit in the middle that I have completely missed and thus made myself look a complete arse? Typical Sais!

I was born in Bronglais, and so were all 3 of my DC

Agree about older people, DH's Mamgu died when she was 94 and she had pretty much lost all of her English by the time she died. If the doctor in the hospital didn't speak Welsh she would have to have either FIL or a nurse to translate.

Sorry, I haven't read between here and the first page, but to add my 2c:

I was born and brought up in a Welsh speaking household - my Dad was English, but spoke to me in Welsh, and my parents mainly spoke Welsh to eachother in front of me. I started learning English when I went to Ysgol Feithrin (nursery) and then school. I'm now 28, and most people think I'm from Yorkshire as that's where I live, and I have picked up the accent. I have no trace of Welsh accent at all. I still speak Welsh to my Nain and Taid, but not really to anyone else, unless they are a native Welsh speaker.

On a separate note, my friend is Cantonese, and her husband Vietnamese, but they both speak to their children (DS 3 and DD1) in Cantonese. Their DS is now pretty fluent in Cantonese, but able to make himself understood in English. He's picked up this English from TV etc, and also from his parents speaking to people in English.

Personally, I don't think there needs to be any rush to introduce English yet. He will learn at the appropriate time, and I think it's lovely that he speaks Welsh fluently - it warms my heart

It's fascinating coming back to this thread and hearing the pleas for this little 'half English' boy to be taught about English culture by his Dad. It just underlines to me what another wise poster has said, that unless you're identified with a minority group culture, then you probably don't understand that it doesn't need to be taught, it's everywhere.

A dwi'n meddwl a dylai'r pobl saesneg yma pisho bant.

Does gennyn nhw ddim syniad sut mae'n teimlo i fod yn Cymraeg pan mae na gymaint o Saesneg o gwmpas yn cymud popeth drosodd fel cancr. Mae'n fy ngwylltio.

For the people here so terrified of this child losing his English heritage, don't worry. I'm sure within a couple of generations Welsh and Gaelic will have died out and English will be the lingua mater of the whole of the UK.

And for the GPs, well language is only a barrier for the adults, not the young children. They could easily teach him a few phrases in English were the inclination there.

lost - Nooo didn't mean you'd said anything silly - just a comment on how very long this thread is. Also very repetitive

Naetha dwi'n caru ti!!!!