to not teach my DS any English

[DewinDoeth]

Ok, moved from another thread as it seems to have got people going!

DS is two and speaks quite a lot, but only in Welsh.

I live in a Welsh-speaking community, I'm a native speaker and Welsh is my first language (in fact I'm a lecturer in Welsh lang&lit), my entire family are Welsh. DS attends a Welsh medium nursery 2 days a week, and is cared for by my mother 2 days a week. And me the other days! None of the carers speak English with him.
My DH has learnt Welsh to near-fluency, and only speaks Welsh with DS: it gives DH a chance to improve (slowly, with an nonjudgmental speaker ) and has given him a massive confidence boost when it comes to it.
I am not teaching DS any English at all, and I never speak English with him. DS will learn English quite naturally, mainly from the television, or from hearing it around when there are people who don't speak Welsh. It's how it was with me and my English is of a very high standard (no doubt there will be grammatical errors in this post now - but I have an Oxbridge PhD so it can't be all bad).

PILs are not Welsh, live 250 miles away, and have expressed sadness that 'they can't communicate with him'.
They learnt to say hello and thank you in Nepalese when they went on holiday, but despite knowing me for 10 years and my family for 6, they have never learnt any words of Welsh at all, not please or thank you, and say it's pointless because it's a dead language, and it's not an useful language.

Selfish, inconsiderate and restrictive? In what way exactly?

The TV will not teach him before school (you know that place with qualified teachers...) does if he doesn't watch English TV

If the OP has the right to only speak her first language to her child her DH has the same right and should speak to his child in his first language.

I just think the OP is deluded and selfish and a bit odd as she wants to keep her child all to herself and closet him from anyone who is not her.

Jamie
"I really don't know how you managed to convince your DH to speak to his child in a second language....he sounds weak and rather strange."

That was the one that I commented on earlier, there have been other comments on the same lines, that it is odd to speak to your child in a foreign language.

Pisces
I cannot answer for the OP, but in our household we switch back and forth between languages automatically, depending on what we are talking about and to whom. It does come naturally.

I have seen DS conversing in French to a classmate, turn and speak English to an English speaker and then address me in German.

But presumably her DH is happy to speak Welsh to their DS, otherwise he would speak English to him!

fandango
Have you any experience with bringing up bilingual children? If you did you would know how ridiculous that statement is.

My DC were 4yo and 6yo when we moved to Switzerland and within 2 years they have learnt French. They speak fluent French without ANY input from us at home.

Even if the OP's son were not to learn English until he were at school, he would still learn it to a very proficient level, as the OP and countless other Welsh people have done for years.

It would make more sense to me if OP and DH spoke in Welsh and DH and DS spoke in English.

Gramercy: "IMHO the OP is trying to cocoon her ds and, by speaking only Welsh, this might force him to stay right where he is forever.

Speaking English is dangerous because it just might take him away from her. "

How many times does everyone have to say that the child will speak English? The OP knows this, accepts this and is happy with this.

OP, Sounds quite reasonable to me. As long as you're not one of those irritating Welsh Language Fascists who insists on trying to force welsh down everyone elses neck.

When I have seen bilingual DCs MmeLindt they often swap languages mid sentence with a parent.

OP knows that the DC will not speak English until he is school age and so she has a good excuse to not let him out with his English family without her!

By piscesmoon Tue 08-Jun-10 18:00:23
I think that grandparents can easily find a way-whether OP would like all the contact is a different matter! If I was retired, and not dependant on jobs, I would actually move close by and soon have him fluent in English!!

You would? Against the wishes of the parents? (and its both parents, Dad is choosing to talk welsh to his son as well!!)

I'm imaginging the MN thread now "My MIl has moved in down the road and is undermining our parenting choices and refusing to listen to anything I say".

Grandparents don't have a right to contact with grandchildren. My Mum forfeited that right a few years ago. How often on MN do we here "your child, your choice"?

I think the problem here is lack of understanding between monoglots and people who are bilingual.

I have to admit that I can't imagine what it's like not to be bilingual. So in a way I can understand how hard it is for monoglots to understand our situation.

I also think there is a different and very special situation when the of two languages which you speak one is a minority language and the other is one of the most widely spoken in the world.

MmeLindt; purely out of curiosity, did your children learn their French at an international school or Swiss school?

I will fight for the right weegiemum! If my DS marries a Welsh woman and lives in Wales I will visit and I will speak in English. (It isn't as harsh as it seems, I have a very good relationship with DSs and I can't imagine them cutting me off!) Luckily grandparents do get rights these days.

How odd!

I have never before come across somebody who wants to deprive their child of bilingualism!

Teaching a child two languages at the same time has massive impact on their brain development, in addition to the benefit of being able to speak and think in two languages.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By helyg Tue 08-Jun-10 19:32:25
But presumably her DH is happy to speak Welsh to their DS, otherwise he would speak English to him!

Or maybe the poor man just goes along with it for a quite life

'How often on MN do we here "your child, your choice"? '

Far, far too often! I always fight it and feel sorry for the poor DC.

helyg

That is not my problem, I have no issues with both parents speaking Welsh to their son, it is their right and I can see it has benefits.

I am sad that the Op will not let her ils and son muddle through with some unsupervised time as she said on the other thread that the language barrier was the main issue. So unless she thinks they are terrible people she should either let them muddle through or have him familiar with some english. I'm sure they are not silly and will respond to non verbal signals as will the little boy.

I have said this lots of times.

In fact I do believe that what motivates welsh speakers-particularly children-to learn english is that they get pissed off at the fact that the only things on S4C are pile-o-shite programmes like Ffermio.

Todays thrilling episode of Ffermio (translated)
"Iola Wyn will be meeting Hannah Parr who makes horse riding clothes. Alun Elidyr will be at Ceredigion YFC rally and Daloni Metcalfe will be in the Llyn Peninsula learning more about the stabilizer cow"

I'd do myself in if that was all I could watch on telly

Victoria
They go to a local school where they speak only French. At an International School they would speak mainly English.

QS
She has not said that she is trying to stop him learning English, just that she is not going out of her way to teach him. He will pick it up from his surroundings.

What surroundings would that be? In her op, she clearly states that nobody speaks English in her community. Is he picking it up from Cbeebies?

OK, MmeL, on (b) - glad your parents were able to visit, and well done to your Mum for studying German.

On (a) I was thinking that DH was not near fluent, as it sounded like he was still very much a learner, giving himself opportunities when talking to DS, without concerns of some born-and-bred Welsh speaker taking the mickey if he made some error.

I'm in the camp which thinks it especially strange for DH not to use English some of the time with DS, and can only imagine how DH's parents feel about this deliberate choice not to use English at home. It's not as if DS will be harmed by exposure to English, or is that what the OP feels "deep down" and the cause of this veto reluctance ?

NetworkGuy
She states "near-fluent" in her OP.

QS
Both the OP and several other Welsh posters have said that they were raised in a similar fashion and that they learned English from their surroundings. The OP and her DH speak English together so unless they are whispering, their DS is hearing a lot of English at home, just not directed at him.