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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

8 year old looking for naughty pictures

42 replies

hedwig2001 · 02/06/2010 11:58

Am I being unreasonable to be distinctly freaked at finding my 8 yr old DS has spent the morning looking for internet sites about girls with no pants. We have parental controls which blocked a fair bit but let him on some of You tube and a Cosmopolitan best sex positions page! Have since tightened the parental controls further. Tried to talk to him about why e.g. was he curious or had boys at school suggested it? Just got red face and a brick wall.

OP posts:

ImSoNotTelling · 02/06/2010 12:03

I don't have an 8yo DS and have never had one but I think this is pretty normal. From remembering my bro and I cutting out pics of people in their underwear when we were about that age

ImSoNotTelling · 02/06/2010 12:04

Don't have an 8yo DS and have never been one

that should say.

Can you look on the history and check he didn't see anything too much/too graphic etc?

llbeanj · 02/06/2010 12:04

you can't rely on parental controls to do your parenting for you. if you don't want him to access these things, and you can't trust him, then don't let him use the internet unsupervised.
but until you find out why he was looking, you won't know how to deal with it.

ShirleyKnot · 02/06/2010 12:07

Natural curiosity I'm afraid. I'm sure if your controls are set quite tightly then he wouldn't have ended up seeing anything particularly..mingy.

Forget about it for today and maybe broach the subject later in the week. I think it's time for "THE CHAT"

Good luck.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/06/2010 12:09

Harsh (but fairllbean). Our dd found some pictures of a woman pleasuring a horse orally when she googled pony pictures. I was on the PC when she was on the mac so I don't think I could have supervised her any more closely. Our filters have been upgraded and she knows that she must ask me before she searches for something.

deaddei · 02/06/2010 12:09

Quite normal.
We did the same with library books.
Just don't type in Fist Direct with no parental control.

WellMeantHellBent · 02/06/2010 12:10

I won't let DS on the computer without me or DP being in the same room. He knows how to google for things but he normally only uses bookmarked links for games.

Caught him giggling to himself while typing in 'joby' he had just learned to read, no idea what pictures (obv poo related) he thought he would find but I guessed they would be inappropriate!

Original poster

hedwig2001 · 02/06/2010 12:12

Yes, I know exactly what he looked at from the history. I think the Cosmo page was the worst. It was more him looking that freaked me, as he has never displayed any curiosity before. Has always seemed like a late developer. The parental controls now limit him to the sites I approve, so no more Google. I would love to move our computer from the study, to a more public area but our living room is tiny and already cramped.

OP posts:

CantSupinate · 02/06/2010 12:27

We caught DS doing this, Parental Vista controls imposed after that!!

Morloth · 02/06/2010 12:31

Sounds pretty normal to me.

Ladyanonymous · 02/06/2010 12:34

Why would you orally pleasure a horse?

ShatnersBassoon · 02/06/2010 12:38

I'd say it's natural curiosity. I think the equivalent in my day was looking at 'penis' and 'breasts' in the Midland Bank Griffin Savers dictionary.

TheJollyPirate · 02/06/2010 12:42

My friend's DS started looking at about 10 or so - evidentky it was a topic of conversation at school and his search history showed he'd looked up "boobs"

The site his school-friends also told him about was called "brazzas.com" (No - honestly DON'T look) - my friend was devastated in an "OMG but he's my baby boy" kind of way.

AMumInScotland · 02/06/2010 12:44

Wanting to see stuff like that is normal for an 8yo. Not wanting him to see it is normal for the parent of an 8yo

He's clearly reached an age where he is curious, so make sure he has access to accurate age-appropriate information - talk to him, and/or buy him suitable books so he can find out about it all in a less potentially-worrying way.

And try to let him know, without being too scary, why you are worried about what he might find on the internet, and that it can be hard to find things that are not just, well, too detailed for him at this age. And make sure he knows about not giving out his details etc, and that your virus software etc is up to date, because if he's wandering round sites in general your PC may well pick up malware which is commonly around.

RedRedWine1980 · 02/06/2010 12:48

There is a simple answer- dont let them on the internet unsupervised!

MrsHarkness · 02/06/2010 16:16

He's doing what most young boys of that age do, and did when we were young too, it's just more readily available now, sit hinm down and have a talk but I wouldnt make a big deal of it to be honest.

Original poster

hedwig2001 · 02/06/2010 16:20

Thank you ladies, for your feedback. I feel distinctly less freaked now .

OP posts:

cakeywakey · 02/06/2010 16:23

Blimey, in our day it was the underwear section of my Mum's catalogues that we'd look at You weren't going to come across porn then though. Hope he feels that he can talk about this with you soon.

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/06/2010 16:29

i was looking for some genuine info last night and i was totally shocked at what is out there, just one click and your face to, erm, not face with some pretty disturbing images.

i think thats the problem with the net - where it used to be finding a lads mag hidden under your dads bed or looking at page 3, you can now view anything and anything goes.

i think its natural for kids to want to see, but what they CAN see now is not so natural. i had this talk with my son when he was about 12.

cocolepew · 02/06/2010 16:44

My DD is 8 and did this a few weeks ago, I freaked too . It does seem to be normal.

cath476 · 02/06/2010 18:09

My DS is 8 and a couple of weeks ago caught him googling 'niked women'(sic) Totally natural curiosity I would think, although, VERY inappropriately I got a huge fit of the giggles! (I think it was the shock!!)

Original poster

hedwig2001 · 16/08/2010 16:42

Quick follow up.
Spent ages researching an appropriate 'Facts of Life' book to read with my son. Sat down with him the other day and said "Daddy and I think you are old enough to know where babies come from. Shall we look at the book together?"
His response was "I don't want to know!" He won't even look at the book on his own!
I guess he'll look at it when he is ready.

OP posts:

LindyHemming · 16/08/2010 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jamieandhismagictorch · 16/08/2010 17:37

Have told this story many times on MN ...

My DS1 and friend tried to google "Bum Stuff" when they were 7 (normal little boys obsession with bums and poo). Imagine what they could have found in a couple of clicks !

Fortunately they were on GoggleMaps so only found a place called Bumhole Arizona, (or something).

OP - it's normal. There will be someone he knows who has older siblings, or whose mum (like me) told them the facts of life when they were 6. Sex is all around. At 8 they will be well aware of the funny feelings they get from seeing the covers of lad's mags in the local newsagents (or so DH assured me when I was worrying about this)

tethersend · 16/08/2010 17:52

at Bumhole, Arizona.

Sorry.

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