Wow, I have the utmost sympathy for you hedwig . I have a now 12 yo son (yes, folks I decide to allow him to actually live) who started his hobby of surfing for porn on the internet at the tender age of just 10. I'm talking about the really hard stuff (oops, no pun intended!!!)It has been an ongoing struggle since then to make him understand that not only is it inappropriate makes you go blind , your willy drops off ,urge vomit, but illegal.
I'm very lucky in that it has been easy to keep him off the computer at home, but there have been times when his enforced ban has been relaxed (in order to give him the opportunity to redeem himself) but he has found the most incredible ways around Net Nanny (last in list of parental control programs we've tried). I was disgusted that the worst sites he was able to find and even access without any type of age verification was to simply type one three letter word (begins with an S) into Google!!!
Now he simply isn;t allowed near the computer at all. For his age the greatest punishment is in him having to explain to his mates WHY he isn;t allowed near the computer. No, no they don;t all tell him he's an idiout, they simply slap him upside the head for getting caught. NOT the best lesson but a stronger one having come from a source he respects. It is getting better as he gets older. In that he understands a bit better o control the urge (I suppose it helps that he now has his special sock something else to do with his hands time.
I know I seem to be making a bit light of this. It's the hysteria people. If I think about the 'special videos' I found him making last year I really will go and vom. He is terribly naive in his 'porn' problem, thank god. There isn;t a bit of real deviant in him, no more so than in most grubby little 12 yo boys. He may make it to adulthood with all his special 'bits' still intact and then it'll be his partners problem not mine. phew
BUt at least she'll have a man who knows how to use his hands wash up and put the hoover round! 