Why is 'gingerism' an acceptable form of prejudice?

[Pacific]

Came home from a late shift last night to find my cool and handsome 13 year old DS crying after some cyberbullying because he has reddish hair.

The story came tumbling out between sobs. He had been out on Saturday afternoon with his pal and their respective 'sweethearts'. The two girls also happen to be best friends.

After they all split up and made their way home about tea time, Ds was getting hassled on the bus home by some local neds getting called 'ginger c**nt' etc. They got off at the same bus stop. One punched DS. DS retaliated (he is rugby player) and ended up giving the boy a bloody nose. The boy's friends ran off when they saw DS not to be messed with but bloody nose boy has threatened DS that his Dad and big brother will get him. This is not an empty threat....we know who they are. DS is now terrified.

Next thing that happened, On facebbook last night DS's girlfriend's best pal started taunting his girlfriend about the ginger hair. DS somehow managed to see this convo. It was really horrible stuff and coming so close after the attempted beating (just for having red hair FFS) was all too much for him and he was sobbing his heart out. I haven't seen him cry in years.

Bastards. Why is this OK? Why do people pick on redheads? Where did this come from? Why is this prejudice not tackled?

It makes me fecking livid. I have no idea where it comes from.

Yup. Am waiting for this to start happening to DS2 who is 8 at the moment. It seems to be worse for boys.
It's an easy taunt for jerks sadly.
I would suggest getting off FB as no good comes of it, although I realise this is probably considered social death for a teenager.
No advice, just sympathy.
And call the police if that family issues threats of any sort.

I have the same im afraid whats worse is it comes from level headed grown ups and our friends!

Ds1 is 8 and has very fair red hair, it seems to be acceptable (amongst our pregnant friends) to say "oh god, i bet our lo will have red hair" chuckle chuckle. As if its some kind f affliction.

My poor ds has already said he wants to dye his hair and once he is old enough I will do it for him.

What grates on me the most is how it is seen as an acceptable in polite society area for piss taking.

I always wade in and remind them that my ds is a red head and they are being prats.

Your poor ds tho, he has us on his side tho!

Thank you for the support.

If you had seen DS last night.. he was in bits.

DD (15)gets it too. She has told me about adults hassling her on the bus and no-one steps in to help.

Yes my 8 yr old has said he wants to dye his hair. Its heartbreaking isn't it?
THose of you who make ginger remarks in jest - just stop it will you?

I never even realised that people didn't like ginger/reddish hair. When I went to school, nobody said anything about people with red hair. It's only recently I became vaguely aware of it. How horrid. (I hate similar remarks about short people, as I am short!)

Re your DS's GF and her friend, is her friend jealous, and "fancies" your son herself??? Why would she taunt her friend otherwise???

Am very for you. Poor DS.

Agree facebook is the spawn of the devil. Have had trouble with a group being set up with a hate campaign for my DS. Dealt with very swiftly, I can tell you.

Am actually really really angry reading your post.

My DD (18) dyes her hair now - the irony is she dyes it bright red but that's acceptable and cool because it doesn't look like a natural red

But where did it come from? When I was at school in the 70s, red hair was not an issue. It was not commented on. Fat kids got bullied (I know, I was one), geeky kids got bullied but red hair was just not noticed so this must be a recent thing.

But where did it come from? When I was at school in the 70s, red hair was not an issue. It was not commented on. Fat kids got bullied (I know, I was one), geeky kids got bullied but red hair was just not noticed so this must be a recent thing.

My son is not a redhead, but just thought i would put my two penneth in about facebook bit.

this is not fair, not acceptable.
My H is ginger, well pretty much grey now, but it is talked about all the time. Even with adults.However his plan(or maybe it was his mums?!) was to attack it head on. He has always had ginga type nicknames and he revels in it. Making the most of being a bit different. It seems to have worked with him, no-one would mess with him.and i guess it's a bit of reverse pyschology, if you show the bullies you don't care, they can't take the piss.
He reckons anyone with any red in them is extra special, they have ginga spirit.
very angry for you

I know. Two of my DBros are ginger and now they are adults they love their hair - they stand out and as they are both v good looking and lovely they are never short of female attention. Teenage years were hell though.
Cold comfort is that teenagers can be little shitbags and everybody (apart from the bullies) gets picked on for something. Gingerism is just one amongst thousands (fat, spotty, glasses, short, geeky, dyslexic, take your pick) of 'weaknesses' that little shits will pick out. At least you know your DS is a gorgeous lad and so will he in the future.

I have a friend with ginger hair and her mother made her feel so special that she always thought people were just jealous!

Anything that makes us different is a source of fuel for bullies.

My older boys both have red hair and have had more compliments than abuse so far but they are at a very nice primary at the moment and I am not looking forward to the inevitable ginger abuse DS1 will get when he starts high school after the summer. DS1 is a sensitive boy who cries easily and finds it hard to shrug off teasing etc.

It really is maddening, their hair is so beautiful too! (biased mother emoticon).

At least we are in Scotland and they are not usually the only redheads around (although for some reason there are lots of girls with red hair in the school ATM but hardly any boys).

There is a special redhead festival every September in a town in Holland (can't remember name) where redheads and admirers of redheads meet up and celebrate the beauty of red hair. The photos are amazing, we are thinking of going as a family to help stave off any self esteem issues.

I remember as a teenager being on the bus with my red-haired sister and some girls (thinking she was alone) threatened to 'slap her ugly ginger face' out of the blue! My friends and I were much older and quickly put them in place but it shocked me the reaction some kids had to her, I hadn't realised befor.

I do try to bolster both DS and DDs confidence saying that it is lovely to be distinctive etc. I have explained that the bullies have an in-built weakness detector and only do it because he reacts so ignoring is the best strategy, but DS is so sensitive about it.

He has asked on numerous occasions to dye his hair but this is not allowed at his school and I think it may open the door for more piss taking.

I think it's always something no matter what, people always pick up on something whether it's hair colour, skin colour, too fat/too thin, too clever/too thick etc etc. None of it is fair but while people are people it will always happen.

It was about when I was at school so I don't think it's a recent thing btw (I'm 31).

In response to thread title it is not acceptable.
Im a greying blonde but I adore red hair and am aghast at the bullying.
Lets have a Mumsnet campaign to stop it!!

Wigglybreezer, we are in Edinburgh!

Speaking as a redhead I think this prejudice needs to be called out for what it is and dealt with accordingly.

There is nothing funny about terrorising an individual because of the colour of their hair.

Luckily I live in Ireland and we are many, but for the 11 years I lived in London I was a target. I remember being so relieved my kids weren't redheads also, how ridiculous of me!

Pacific - my eldest broether was born in 1966 and was bullied mericilessly at school all the way through, for his hair being ginger. So perhaps you were lucky that your school didn't seem to have an issue with giner/ red heads?

My DD has beautiful red hair with many shades in it. It's not as red as some people's, possibly more auburn but I love it and want to make her always realise how beautiful it is.

Sorry, I have several typos in my message. Clearly typing too fast

YANBU - it's unbelievably pathetic.

My ex-best friend and I fell out because she couldn't reconcile the fact that my (then) boyfriend was ginger. We were both in our 30s and she was a policewoman!