Why is 'gingerism' an acceptable form of prejudice?

[Pacific]

Came home from a late shift last night to find my cool and handsome 13 year old DS crying after some cyberbullying because he has reddish hair.

The story came tumbling out between sobs. He had been out on Saturday afternoon with his pal and their respective 'sweethearts'. The two girls also happen to be best friends.

After they all split up and made their way home about tea time, Ds was getting hassled on the bus home by some local neds getting called 'ginger c**nt' etc. They got off at the same bus stop. One punched DS. DS retaliated (he is rugby player) and ended up giving the boy a bloody nose. The boy's friends ran off when they saw DS not to be messed with but bloody nose boy has threatened DS that his Dad and big brother will get him. This is not an empty threat....we know who they are. DS is now terrified.

Next thing that happened, On facebbook last night DS's girlfriend's best pal started taunting his girlfriend about the ginger hair. DS somehow managed to see this convo. It was really horrible stuff and coming so close after the attempted beating (just for having red hair FFS) was all too much for him and he was sobbing his heart out. I haven't seen him cry in years.

Bastards. Why is this OK? Why do people pick on redheads? Where did this come from? Why is this prejudice not tackled?

Pacific - just seen you're in Edinburgh! FFS, it shouldn't be an uncommon phenomena there!

OK. Lets start with mumsnet. Please, please all you good mums reading this, lets try to stop this senseless prejudice......and all the other senseless bullying that goes on.

Wonder if anyone who has gingerphobia could jump on here and explain why? Name change if necessary..

I never had to deal with it growing up in Ireland, but that's probably because in a class of 30 there were 8 redheads.

I got the shock of my life the first time I got asked if my pubes were the same colour as the hair on my head in the lunch canteen, in front of a whole table full of colleagues. The comments pretty much continued for the next 11 years and stopped the minute I returned to Ireland. Been home 12 years now, not one comment.

This makes me mad. Your poor DS, what a totally shitty thing to happen.

I am a red head, haven't had my natural hair colour since the day I turned 18, I think it is beuatiful when I see it on others, have a friend who has the most gorgeous redhead boys, I just remember all the abuse.

Thank you for your support everyone. I am going to let DS see this thread.

Sorry, I have to go to work now (another late shift) but please keep posting and I will reply later.

It's simple, innit. As others have said, it is nasty human nature to pick on people.
It used to be race: now that's illegal.
It used to be gender: now illegal
It used to be sexuality: now illegal
It used to be religion: now illegal

Ginferism is the only thing left that isn't illegal. Petition to have the law changed and it might stop ( ...or move on to something else)

This breaks my heart. DS is 3 and has the most beautiful shiny strawberry blonde hair, which absolutely everyone comments on. A lady came up to me just last week and said 'What beautiful hair.....but he won't start to love it until he's an adult'. Her two sons apparently had the same colour hair and had been teased about it We're focusing on building really strong self-esteem and hoping that will see him through any bullying, but it's a horrible prospect and so unnecesary.

There are lots of redheads in my family and I have never heard of any one of them being bullied. How odd. And sad.

gingerism

I just adore long red hair on girls - so beautiful! But I do think that red headed girls with those very blonde eyelashes need to be encouraged to dye their eyelashes and define their brows from a young age - they look so much prettier when they do.

It's mad, isn't it? I think it's shocking the way it seems acceptable to mock/bully people with red hair. It must surely be a reasonably recent development. When I was a child, I LONGED to have red hair, and the child at school considered to be 'the pretty one' had light red hair.

Sickening that this is the way it is. I suppose one can only deal with it the way one would deal with any other bullying.

Horrible.

I thought you might be in Scotland Pacific, due to the mention of neds.

I must admit that I chose an out of catchment school for DS partly because there will be less neds on the bus to that particular school (and his best pals are going too).

I am quite a logical person and the sheer illogicality of gingerism really annoys me (ditto people who get teased for having curly hair etc.).

I hope your DS can ride out this period and that his tormentors get bored of teasing him, I'm sure he is gorgeous.

I actually always make sure that DS1 has a cool haircut and the "right" trainers etc. (even though I am not very comfortable with consumerist conformity myself) so that he feels as confident with his appearance as possible. I was teased at times for being a speccy, gingery swot with "sensible" shoes but survived (although Facebook is a whole new can of worms).

Ds2 has ginger hair and he has not had many comments yet - he is in yr5. He has had comments about his freckles though and he hates them. He is covered in them. He did ask when was he going to have normal hair when he was at pre-school as someone had said his hair was weird. When I asked him what colour he thought would be normal, he replied green!

Dd1 also has Ginger hair, but people always say how beautiful it is. They never say that for ds2.

my DD is auburn and her best guy mate is ginger. in our household, being ginger has gentle nicknames based around it. my brothers kids have ginger hair, and my bro and my SIL gradually used ginger nicknames in an affectionate fashion as their DC's were growing up. I think this is the key to ginger self esteem. if the nicknames are already there, the kids wont see it as a big deal. my neice says some girls tried to be mean about her hair once but she didnt mind because 'at least im an INTERESTING colour' [she's 11, the fantastic girl]
the thing is, kids will be picked on for anything, sadly.
I was bullied solidly through secondary school for 'just being wierd'
i didnt dress particularly differently, look particularly different, but I read a lot and was probably a bit more aware of stuff than the kids there. and i got bullied. my DH got bullied because he has big round eyes that looked a little strange when he was 10!

its a beautiful hair colour, and the best advice i can give is be relaxed about it among family, use those ginger nicknames as affectionate nicknames, ego boost.
i feel so bad for your DS that idiots like those exist that think violence is acceptable, and that picking on others is fun. and how pathetic is it that little boys think calling their daddy in will sort it out? daddy will be sent to prison if he laid a hand on your child!

Sorry, "fewer" neds not less, in case the Mumsnet pedants are watching.

A bit about your comment Bonsoir, DS1 has blonde eyebrows and eyelashes (huge long ones) dyeing them is not an option for a boy and at what age would you enlighten a girl with the fact that she is less 'pretty' than a girl with darker lashes and brows.

Many ideas of beauty are social constructs (apart from the main indicators such as facial symmetry that are universal) and therefore should be challenged if people are being treated badly because of them.

I think Gingerism is relatively new. I was at school with plenty of red heads back in the 60s and 70s and no one made comments. In fact, one of the coolest boys had ginger hair and loads of freckles.
I just think aggression needs a target, and red hair is like a beacon and attracts attention.
Well done to your son for fighting back. Hope the bus incident was a one off. He sounds brave and sensitive - a good combination.

I think it's horrible the blatant prejudice ginger haired people get, and to some extent pretty blondes. I just don't understand it? Why would you pick on someone because of the colour of their hair? It seems as well as something quite peculiar to English culture. I would really like to know where it originates from because it can be pretty vile.

Has anybody seen the MIA video for born free here. Before you click on it (if you do) please be warned that it is quite gruesome. I just think she's made quite a statement!

minthumbug I went to uni with a Welsh-speaking, ginger, obese homosexual who wore glasses. His childhood had been hell.

The bullies hit the jackpot there - personally I think bullying someone because of their weight seems very "socially acceptable". There will always be something.

Yes Bonsoir, a perfectly sensible mother at the school gate felt it was terrible amusing to tell me how her (non-ginger) son had thought my son's pale eyelashes were weird.
Suppose he'd better brace himself for that as well. I have been doing the affectionate ginger nicknames thing since he was born. Had maybe better add "no visible eyelashes" ones as well...

One of my workplace tormentors eventually gave birth to a beautiful red haired boy.

She changed her tune then I can tell you...

Totally agree wrt redheads.

Redheads have beautiful hair. I am brunette and consider my hair colour quite bland in comparison.

I have a friend who is married to a redhead, and they have a 5 yr old DD who has the most beautiful long thick gorgeous red hair.

Unfortunately they make fun of her red hair, because they believe this will 'desensitise' her to any bullying.

I've never heard of loving parents making fun of their own DC for this purpose. Not sure it is an effective way of dealing with this.

Quick comment before going to work.

at that Christmas card! I haven't seen it before minthumbug.

I'll be back tonight after work.