FGS...WHY, WHY, WHY????

[EveWasFramed]

Is it assumed that if you post something in AIBU, then you are inviting a flaming or a fight?

Sometimes, people just wonder if they're being a bit silly, with parenting stuff or relationship stuff, etc. and just need a bit of perspective. Why is it a requirement that it will descend into an argument, when really, the topic just encourages people to give opinions???

I feel badly for OPs when posters exclaim, 'ooo, you're going to get flamed for asking, best go to another board'
Are opinions discouraged on the other boards??

I have no specific thread in mind, btw...it's just something I've noticed since I joined MN...and I don't really understand it, TBH.

I think this board is going to eat itself...

You're not alone EWF - I often wonder why this is too.

What does that mean pagwatch?

[bewildered emoticon]

Thank you, Chunky...glad I'm not alone!

I was just thinking that pagwatch, it used to be fun but now every second post is "Why is everyone so mean?".

I can't tell whether it has actually gotten meaner lately or if we have just had an influx of whiners. Could be both I suppose.

i have bet myself £10 that the usual answers will be on here .Im pretty confident ill be spending my winnings tomorrow so come on hurry up with the off you fuck then deary etc

back when AIBU first started (I think) - I managed ot have an AIBU thread (about nurseries) where it was categorically agreed that I WASN'T being unreasonable

but agree, that people hide behind the reputation, and go there spoiling ofr a fight.

I htink tha's why they introduced WWYD? (or have I dreamt that up?!)

I mean thatthis endless naval gazing about how MN works, if it is bitchy, overly harsh, too aggressive etc - often based around AIBU is becoming quite all consuming.

The baord is generally pleasant. AIBU was created to be a lot more open and has the warning notice. I don't agree with AIBU equalling flaming.
But i think endlessly complaining about it, complianing about bullying etc etc - the multiple threads aboutthese things at the moment are making mumsnet more about mumnsnet than almost anything else at the moment.

I am sorry it was bewildering. I thought x will eat itself was a commonish reference

It's just so weird that the association with this board is one of verbal violence...I don't get it...we're all adults, right?

I do sometimes feel sorry for unsuspecting newbies who post on AIBU then get a flaming, and I have been known to tell them to post elsewhere as AIBU can be quite harsh.

At the same time, I agree with Pagwatch that the whole "MN used to be so different" is silly, I have been reading threads about MN changing for the worse since I started using this forum many years ago.

It is like the Grannies complain that when they were young there were no such thing as ASBOs. That youngsters used to be friendly and polite etc.

Okay, sorry, xposted with Pag...

I agree that it's open, and that's not a bad thing. I also don't disagree with a good debate...nobody loves a rant more than I do. It just seems like some OPs, who have reasonable questions that they would like some insights to, are told to run for cover when they put it on here. Of course, some of them are going to warrant a little flaming, but for the most part, I've seen some sensitive questions just shot down, seemingly just because it's posted on AIBU.

I don't associate AIBU with verbal violence.

I tend to think of it as a home for people with often silly views who get huffy when no one agrees with them, with bewildering banter, quite open rudeness and often quite vile views from OPs and posters which should be challenged.

But I feel, as an adult, I can argue or hide the thread.
AIBU is hideable

Lovely contribution, Kerry, thanks a lot.

It will be very boring if the whiners manage to get AIBU either shut down, or change its nature enough that people can't be blunt without moderation.

When I was young we knew how to talk to our elders by the way.

I don't think it should be shut down...

Are the other boards as open for debate as this one?

Your first post not bewildering Pagwatch. But true. This board is getting incredibly self-referential.

Thanks for explaining that to me pagwatch!!

I haven't been on MN for a few months, so am a bit of a newbie again. I need these things explaining to me.

Apart from anything else, the premise just isn't true. There are OFTEN aibu threads where actually everyone says, "no, you're not actually" or when people get loads of good advice or strategies. As anyone who's been around more than 10 minutes will testify.

But no-one ever mentions those, do they?

If you post about issues on a related board then you get much more reasonable responses.
If you post the same question on AIBU people will be much more blunt as it was designed to be the area for debating robustly very hottopics.

there is a buyer beware angle to this.

i still think all out aggression is unreasonable but it is designed to be full on

No Casserole, but those threads aren't really what I'm on about...

"but for the most part, I've seen some sensitive questions just shot down, seemingly just because it's posted on AIBU."

I haven't seen this, Eve. Have you got any examples?

Fyi, I am an oldie and I am on the verge of leaving Mumsnet because of newbies complaining all over the place about AIBU.

at jaysus

hey Kerry !