To have sworn at my 8 week old baby?

[chesgirlNOTgriffins]

What do you think?

Is it ever acceptable to use the F word when talking to a newborn?

I had a rare quiet moment with my DC5 last night.

I sat making goo goo eyes at him and taking in his lushiousness. I was talking rubbish baby talk. You know 'who is a little lamby boy, who is my little piglet den' (I know its not just me so dont make that face).

When all of a sudden 'are you a little monkey fucker' slipped out

I dont know where it came from! Blame the monkey thing on those bloody sweet adverts where people go all dysphasic when then have a fruit gum. Ive been calling my kids monkey trousers ever since.

So do you think I have damaged my dear little boY? I dont usually start swearing at my kids till they are at least 5 or 6.

that made me laugh... i called dd buggermonkey once when i was half asleep

I wouldn't worry, he obviously won't have understood and it's not like you were screaming at him to "stop crying you little monkey fucker" or similar Just be careful you don't make the same mistake when he's old enough to be repeating what you say to him..

That is hideous! I am pretty sure that the fact that you were talking baby talk and language like that slipped out makes it all the more shocking tbh!

If you were angry/ annoyed/ upset, that may have been a bit more understandable. Not great - but understandable. But you were in a nice mood and it slipped out? What comes out of your mouth when you are angry?

Make the most of it - he'll soon be swearing back

i think thats quite horrible tbh

Not asseptable...

I know I am a terrible mother.

Why would it be more understandable if I was angry? Why would you get angry with a 8 week old baby anyway?

I said it in a nice way. He is very advanced for his age but I dont think he knew I was calling him a monkey fucker.

I would imagine it 'slipped out' mistletoe because I am pretty tired a lot of the time. What with a new born, a toddler, an autistic 7 year old with LD and husband with multiple sclerosis and a stroppy 16 year old to deal with.

Bad mum Bad mum

Actually, I'm reconsidering my reply.. maybe you have a sucbonscious language problem. Can you say the word "monkey" without "..fucker" slipping out after it? And what about other primates? Do you find yourself shouting out "gorilla wank" or "gibbon bollocks" etc at inconvenient moments? I think you may need to see a specialist regarding this matter.

sucbonscious?

lmao... you have just been diagnosed with primate tourettes!

CHIMP KNOB!

Oh, that has made me laugh so much!!!

I had presumed you'd used it in anger!!

FWIW, I'd have thought it was a bit out of order to swear in anger at a baby - as you say, its frustrating, but you can't get angry with a baby... But, used as you did... well, you are going to have to modify your language before your babe is 8MO and is copying you!

Stoppit Busy I have just had my 5th baby
My pelvic floor cant take it

oh no.... ive caught it as well !

iamtrying to feed my little mokey fucker but he keeps falling of cos i am laughing so much!

and here comes my little chimp knobber home from nursery

i may get tshirts printed up

With babies it is your tone that matters not the words,
I used to sing to DS1 and DS2...
Go to sleep go to sleep
close your big blood shot eyes
if you don't go to sleep
I will beat you with a stick

[disclaimer, never have beaten either kids with a stick]

i woke my buggermonkey up by laughing

They must've always gone to sleep then. I bet they were too terrified not to..

buggermonkey is going to be stuck in my head now! No one will bat an eyelid up the playgroup but the HV wont approve (she thinks I am lying about breastfeeding little MF as it is).

I have enough trouble remembering his name anyway, last week someone asked my what he was called and I said Atticus. Thats the dog's name!

Roffle

That has made my day.

I used to say terrible things tomine in the most mummsy wummsy voice imaginable

'If you don;t stop crying in a minute, mummy is going to throw you out of the fucking window, oh yes she is, oh yes she is'

Made me feel better and it is all in the tone, not the words.

Runaway so glad I am not the only one who uses threats of extreme violence to get my kids to sleep/be quiet/ eat etc.

Ds just walked in and said "Why are you crying?", and I blurted out "Buggermonkey".

What have you done to me?

He's going to need therapy for "mother with primate tourette's". By the time they're adults there'll be quite a lot of them....

Luckily I was laughing so much he didn't understand...I hope

BABBOON ARSE

i cant get rid of it now....

Gorilla Gonads? (to highbrow?)

Pepsi came out of my nose, damn you all!
I called DD buggerface when she was tiny and I DONT KNOW WHY! But yeah, I also used to say things in a loving tone, but along the lines of: "if you dont go to sleep now, baby, I'm going to leave you outside for the fairies to swap you for a changeling child who will sleep nicely"
(I grew up on fairytales in Germany by the way)