To have sworn at my 8 week old baby?

[chesgirlNOTgriffins]

What do you think?

Is it ever acceptable to use the F word when talking to a newborn?

I had a rare quiet moment with my DC5 last night.

I sat making goo goo eyes at him and taking in his lushiousness. I was talking rubbish baby talk. You know 'who is a little lamby boy, who is my little piglet den' (I know its not just me so dont make that face).

When all of a sudden 'are you a little monkey fucker' slipped out

I dont know where it came from! Blame the monkey thing on those bloody sweet adverts where people go all dysphasic when then have a fruit gum. Ive been calling my kids monkey trousers ever since.

So do you think I have damaged my dear little boY? I dont usually start swearing at my kids till they are at least 5 or 6.

I LOVE this thread. I was telling DS2 a story at 2am this morning in my best happy mummy voice about how I would sell him to the highest bidder if he didn't go to sleep and I think by 330 I was smilingly swearing at him as well. I think that most of us have done this in one way or another.
I can control my monkey talk though!

Loving this thread!
And not because I'm kissing chesgirls' monkey butt.

Baboon bollocks.

MARMOSET MINGE

This made me laugh till I cried and my other half asked me what I was giggling at. Couldnt tell him though, dont think he would approve.
Have had a really rough week, and a really bad day today and havent laughed in so long, it felt really good.
I have sworn a few times in frustration but not actually at her, although at 4am today when she had been screaming for 2 hours despite bein fed, burped and changed, i did tell her to "give it a rest for christs sake"
I think a little cow is the worst Ive called her and I felt bad for that... monster or angel are the usual terms of endearment.

Havent made up words to a song yet, but im sure that will come, although I'll have to b careful as she'll be copying soon enough. Little chatterbox.

God this has made me laugh so much!!

I have been off mn for a while, thank you for making this the 1st thread i've read in ages. It made me belly laugh.

I am really pleased this thread (and my obvious dysfunction) has raised a smile or two.

I know what its like to feel like crap. I have been cheered up quite a few times by bonkers threads on MNs.

Next poster who comes in here and shouts simian abuse is going to get a smacked bum!

ooooh er that sounds kinky

chesgirl, that's horrific I am not impressed at all, and all of you laughing are terrible terrible mothers.

Oops!!!

Don't panic, just perhaps.....erm....get out of the habit of it.

capuchin cock.

I use to call DS 'Bugger' rather a lot as a result of trying to call him 'Bubba' and 'Bugs' at the same time.
No idea why I wanted to call him either of these things, he has a perfectly nice name.
Used to get some very strange looks when out and about.

LOL-I accidentally called DS3 (11 days old) a little bugger in front of mw yesterday ....I was cradling him and cooing whilst she filled his notes in and meant to say "awwww look at my little bubbsy" but tiredness took over and Freudian slips galore kicked in! Was mortified and frozen for several seconds but either mw didn't notice or just chose to ignore!

Cross post with you Sebs !

Lol welshgirl, knew I couldn't be the only one!

DCs all in their beds now and I managed to get through without calling any of them 'monkey-fucker'. Have been sniggering about this all afternoon.

Did tell eldest to get his 'dirty little monkey hands out of the biscuit tin' and then collapsed with giggles. He told DH that 'mummy's gone a bit silly'.

Your fault, you lemur-loving, baboon-obsessed weirdos.

Damnit Dog. Id just got my little one to sleep in my arms when I read that and she nearly lept up when I started reading that. My tummy hurts from laughing, despite the little one sobbing into my shoulder.

Such a terrible mummy!

Macaque cack?

Tamarin Tinker?

(too tame?)

Wolly Monkey, Willy Monkey?

(scraping the barrel of obscure primate insults now)

Literally. Crying.

I'm weak with laughter.

Marmoset minge wins.

Marmoset pissflaps!

...sorry

Hahahahahahaha love this thread!

'Primate Tourette's'

Thank you so much, this has cheered me up no end!

(And yes, I can also confess to singing horrible lyrics to the little bastards darlings when they were small.)

get on the fish oils!