To have sworn at my 8 week old baby?

[chesgirlNOTgriffins]

What do you think?

Is it ever acceptable to use the F word when talking to a newborn?

I had a rare quiet moment with my DC5 last night.

I sat making goo goo eyes at him and taking in his lushiousness. I was talking rubbish baby talk. You know 'who is a little lamby boy, who is my little piglet den' (I know its not just me so dont make that face).

When all of a sudden 'are you a little monkey fucker' slipped out

I dont know where it came from! Blame the monkey thing on those bloody sweet adverts where people go all dysphasic when then have a fruit gum. Ive been calling my kids monkey trousers ever since.

So do you think I have damaged my dear little boY? I dont usually start swearing at my kids till they are at least 5 or 6.

Honestly - you lot!

Every bloody flipping time i look at my dear, innocent, beautiful son - i just keep thinking 'monkey fucker, monkey fucker'

Its just so wrong

Oh, the sickly sweet songs of evil. I'm almost nostalgic for those days.

(not really)

Primate Tourettes made me laugh and laugh. i can't think of anything funny to add, I'm just appreciative.

Also, chegirl - DS5? Respect.

DS was known as monkeybum when he was little.

A couple of months back I put DD in a dark blue dress and then sat her up on the sofa, she is erm, a rather robust little girl and I took a look at her and said "aww a pig in a dress" I was horrified at myself for saying it and had no idea why I said it, ive never used that expression before! but of course DS heard it and likes to say it now, thankfully not infront of anyone so far!

Hello again, monkey-fuckers.

Love the new name chegirl!

Is it just me, or do primates seem to figure highly in your conversations with dcs? I have spent most of the last 24 hours in giggles after one 'baboon-bum' comment after another. Plus, my mum has just phoned to tell me about trip to zoo with my neices when she had to drag them away from the sight of shagging lemurs.

Has this gone viral?

"here comes my little chimp knobber home from nursery"

omg, I have actual wheezy snot bubbles and tears. dd2 is quite concerned.

And "she is a robust little girl"

I just snorted at 'pig in a dress'

OMG that makes me feel better about monkey fucker!

Chimp knobber has just turned up again so I really should log off. I think the only name for my 16 DS at the moment is baboon's arse. Just seems to fit somehow.

Now I really must GO. As if swearing at my MF isnt enough I am now neglecting little CK's lunch.

Hilarious!! Baby brain makes you say the funniest things!! Don't feel bad we've ALL done something silly/naughty. X

Oh dear I'm spluttering and wiping tears of mirth from my eyes!

The tiny wanker one always cracks me up every time I read it too.

Tamerin Testicles

Ha ha. How refreshing! I'm so used to the 'perfect parenting' on here this thread is a breath of fresh air! My dp used to call my dd fucknut when she was tiny. It was one of the only things that would make her giggle!

Hahahaha oh my god, best thread ever!! Thanks ladies I've been crying laughing!
Pig in a dress ?!?! Hahaha I remember walking in on my sister with her dd trying to burp her whilst saying 'i have no idea why you hate me but you'll have to bloody well get used to me because you're stuck with me now'
sadly no primate stories though, must try harder!

you capuchin cocks

my stomach hurts from laughing

this reminds me of a time a colleague said cheerily to an elderly gent
"thank fuck" instead of "thank you"....

i think you can be forgiven. happens to us all. i think.!

Got a letter home from school yesterday about uniform.

Where can I get plain white shits? Anyone?

PMSL!!

Sithmummy "Where can I get plain white shits? Anyone? "

The 1970s, apparently. Have a good trip!

;)

Ooooh, Sith - some teacher/secretary/head should be hanging their head in shame!!
You could make the local papers at least, if not, Have I Got News for You..!