to want most parents to consider themselves home educators?

[Butterpie]

At least part time, anyway? I think you would find it very hard not to educate your child in any way yourself. I HE. My children are six months and three years old. It happens that we are not intending to send them to school for part of their education, but even if we were, it's not like when they were at home they would be sat in a darkened box is it?

Why doesn't every parent (especially of preschool children) say they home educate, at least part time? School is just another tool that some parents choose to use alongside their home education. You would hope.

Sadly, I hear too many stories of parents refusing to be involved in any way (not even reading bedtime stories or talking about the world) and maybe this more enpowering approach could help. Plus as soon as I started seeing myself as a home educator, I felt a lot better about myself. No longer was I a part time worker/unemployed, hardly any qualifications, with two unplanned children, unable to afford various things. I suddenly became the main educator of two beautiful girls who were growing and learning every day. I read up on various activities and learning methods, I made a special effort to be active parent and so on.

I might be talking rubbish (quite possible as I am typing whilst supervising Art, Technology, Science, Literacy and Numeracy-otherwise known as decorating gingerbread men) but wouldn't that approach enpower parents and help children, as well as making the school's job easier?

Is it political correctness? Or anti-smugness?

Careful - giving lectures in political correctness is the very summum of smuggery .

hahaha! you may be right

'But I don't agree that the majority of people do the things you describe above - sadly for some children their only experience of that is in formal education. '

I wasn't suggesting that all parents spend their time gardening and going to museums etc! I just took exception to OP assumption that unless parents had their DCs at home with them all the time they didn't bother. I come across examples of dire parenting all the time, but I haven't come across a parent who doesn't love their DCs and want the best for them-even if they seem incapable of doing it. OP is making huge assumptions about people-how can she possible know what they do in the privacy of their own home? Never judge by appearances, the most unlikely people can be marvellous story tellers etc.
OP seemed to me to be written with evangelical zeal by someone who needs to define themselves by the way they bring up their DCs. Most people are already quietly doing it without having to justify it or feeling that they have to do it 24/7. Not delegating formal education to a school is fine, but those of us who choose to use a school have made an informed choice because we think it best-we haven't fallen into it because we don't care!
I have come to the conclusion that what you need most as a parent is a sense of humour and not to take yourself too seriously! I am one of those parents who did gardening, visited museums, made scrapbooks etc and after a certain length of time the DCs dig in their heels and refuse to anything 'educational'-they prefer to ride bikes, play cricket, see friends etc. I am very relieved that I could just 'go with the flow'-they were doing the bits that seemed boring to them at school.

Becaroo- I dont think m(any) people on this thread are saying they think home schooling is a bad idea, just that if your children attend school, they dont feel the need to define themselves as "part time home educators" rather than just as parents, doing what they see as a natural part of parenthood.

All children will receive a balance of education between school and home, with 100% home education at one end, and 100% school at the other and with most being somewhere in between. There will be multiple factors that decide this balance, being both within and outside the control of the parents concerned.

I dont think that putting a title of part of parenting does anything to "empower" anybody. It just gets you laughed at at parties.

Also, if we're all home educators then arent full time home educators really just stay at home mums? I think most would argue that there's a difference.

I think if your children were older OP Id take this a bit more seriously.
Ive had my eyes opened to HE on mumsnet. I used to think it was only for weirdos who wanted to wrap their kids in cotton wool. But having heard some of the mums arguements I can see that is just yet another choice that some people make in an attempt at raising their kids the way thats right for them.

IMO, its not the best way. But its fine for some.

I dont like your preachy post though, and no I dont think that we should all start patting ourselves on the back for teaching our kids. Kids learn from the second they wake up until the second they go to sleep.. its part of being a kid. And its our job to guide them through that. Sometimes we put more effort in than at other times.

Is OP a vain attempt at justifying to yourself that you dont do paid work..? Is it working mum bashing by stealth? Im confused.

"read the whole thread foureleven"

You are, and I mean this in the nicest way, just a mum!! fgs don't feel you have to talk it up, it is what it is and frankly couldn't be nicer for it!! I don't read to my DC because I am educating them, but because we all enjoy it, I don't decorate cakes with any L.O. in mind, but because it is fun..... Lighten up and begin to enjoy your children rather than feeling you have to justify your role!.

I sometimes think that DCs grow up despite their parents! We all practise our theories about childcare on them and it is largely trial and error. A lot is down to the personality of the DC, what suits one doesn't necessarily suit another. The best thing is to give them space and time and be generally supportive. At the moment OP has it all her own way, her DCs are young and will soon get to the age when they will be quite opinionated.

'Lighten up and begin to enjoy your children rather than feeling you have to justify your role!.

The best advice on here! Go out-enjoy the sun and don't worry about it!

i don't thikn people have been snippy because they disagree with home ed. per se... I thikn people have been snippy about being talked at about education by a mum whose children are not of school age.

home ed is not my choice, i dont have the inclination or patience, but it does not mean that I don't believe it is a valid choice. BUt it is certainly not for everyone...

when I cook and DD and DS look at what herbs or spices I use or they help me mix and stir, it's not what i call 'home educating', it's part of normal family life that will add to their life skills

"Ive had my eyes opened to HE on mumsnet. I used to think it was only for weirdos who wanted to wrap their kids in cotton wool. "

Me too Til I became one! I am really normal...honest....

"i don't thikn people have been snippy because they disagree with home ed. per se... I thikn people have been snippy about being talked at about education by a mum whose children are not of school age. "

ahh...so we can only have opinions about topics that are age relevant to our dc?

Didn't know that.

Must stop posting then as I have lots of opnions on aspects of parenting that I have not directly experienced with my dc. I experienced them myself, of course, many years ago as a child, does that count? Can I have an opinion based on my experiences as a child?

People don't stop learning when they get to 18, so every time anyone has a discussion with an adult and tells them something they don't know, by your reasoning we we would all be HE lecturers.

I am not this is not the OP's fault, but I am getting a bit fed up with people constantly telling me how empowered I am for doing everyday things like choosing a shampoo brand, going to work or making a gingerbread man. It hardly makes me Barack Obama.

but becaroo - the idea that this thread is about HE is a total RED HERRING

it's not

She's being a really involved SAHM, and enjoying that. She's got pre-school children and she's enjoying cooking with them and talking to them. Which is lovely (not wildly unusual of course but lovely) and perhaps she won't send them to school

We should all just say, 'that's great Butterpie'

OP should be indulged. She's just discovered she likes being SAHM and doing stuff with her kids. She's calling it home education because, um, well, who knows - there's no person like the recently converted, I guess

"people's understanding of what "normal parenting" is varies wildly"

Yes you are right (should never use the word normal in connection with kids) but missed my point. Children are like sponges they learn from the world around them. The learning and development I was referring too was not really the baking, museums, long stories etc, but practical everyday stuff (money, talking) and values and parents even working ones play a huge role in that. They may not be providing all the hands on experiences etc that some sahms do but they are are providing a value framework for their children. Neither is all that children learn from their parents positive. But that does not mean that they are not learning.
Parenting is to me about caring for and nurturing my children so they grow up in to happy, responsible, independent adults and I
can't imagine many people varying wildly from that. How people go about the day to day task of parenting is what varies wildly. For me I love being home with my kids so I see little distinction between doing something with my kids because I am their mum and doing something because I am their primary educator. Not all people want or can be at home so delegate some of the responsibility for education to schools or nurseries. Others I am sad to say do not provide a positive learning environment and the kids are better off in school. As I said home ed isn't for everyone.
I personally have no doubts on my ability to give my children a richer education than they would get in school and that is just an extension of the parental choices me and dh have made.

My comment was to the OP, not to Becaroo.

I seem to get the impression that most posters feel the OP was smug in her post?

Perhaps.

I think we can all sound a bit smug/self righteous about things we feel passionate about, especially when it involves our dc.
School is great for some kids. Not for others. HE is great for some kids. Not for others.

I really don't feel the OP was "being snippy" (?) or "having a go" at WOHM or SAHM who send their dc to school. I think she was trying to ask why we dont all classify ourselves as home educators when we are all our dc first and most important teacher.

Obviously, the answer is because most of us don't feel the need to. I personally do not feel the need to classify myself as anything.....I am a home educator but I am also a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother and a friend but I don't feel the need to label myself as any of them.

I think the OP is very enthusiastic and excited about her (fairly recent) decision to Home ed. I like enthusiasm. Even if it can make people sound a bit smug

"I am not this is not the OP's fault, but I am getting a bit fed up with people constantly telling me how empowered I am for doing everyday things like choosing a shampoo brand, going to work or making a gingerbread man. It hardly makes me Barack Obama."

pmsl

hmm...when did we all start bandying words like "empowerment" around anyway????

Saying a parent has a role in their child's education is just, for me, stating the bloody obvious tbh

OP is stating the obvious with a new found zeal and excitement about the fact they all loved making a leaf collage or something

The fact it's being built-up and expressed with such ardour and evangelical zeal is because, I presume, she's excited and has just discovered this

hence, my indulgence

it's like my 12 y-old saying, 'OMG, you've got to watch this film To Kill a Mocking Bird. It's amazing. Why hasn't everyone watched this film? They REALLY MUST. It's soo important, I want everyone to see it - I'm going to tell the world'

you can say, 'they have, dear' or you can say, 'I'm so pleased you liked that film'

OP, I'm so pleased you are enjoying being a parent.

i think becaroo, ahundredtimes has articulated what i clearly failed to... i am not saying we can only talk about topics that relate to the age of our DC, but being evangelical about home educating children of preschool age, is a bit ironic surely?

as i have said already, it's fantastic that the OP is really enjoying what she is doing, but it is wildly unrealistic to expect everyone else to feel the same.

the OP is getting great joy and satisfaction out of spending time with her children and doing lots of creative stuff with them...

I think that you are right ahundredtimes and that we are perhaps being a bit mean.

Well pisces - I do feel my 12 y-old is pushing it when he says,

'here's why I want you to watch this film, and here's what to look out for, and give yourself a pat on the back when you have Mum'

well then, you stop being so nice and you growl and say to yourself 'Stop patronising me. I've seen the film. You didn't discover it you know!'

People are like it at work too, they come in with something 'new', and you think that 'actually I have been doing it for the last 10 yrs'. In RL I find it best just to keep quiet about it and let them think they have something new.
I was lucky to be at home when mine were young and I was HEing when they were 6 months and 3 yrs old-most of my friends were doing the same!
I continue to educate in the home-even though they also go elsewhere for some of the time. Now that they are older they actually ask my advice which is quite sweet when they are taller than me!

yes, I agree.

And like becaroo said, enthusiasm is a really good thing. But when enthusiasm tips over into prosletysing, and wanting or assuming it's for the best if everyone is Like You , well it's suddenly less good isn't it?

Op could have done a thread 'I've had bad PND, and now I really feel I'm taking control of my parenting, and loving it, and I might HE even, we're having so much fun right now'

and people would have said, 'good for you' 'what a good story' 'you've given me loads of encouragement' 'so happy for you'

would have been a different thread. . .

Ahundredtimes' post makes me wonder about when our children teach us things- can they call themselves home educators too?

I learnt all sorts of things from dcs last night: the colours of the Bolivian flag, the name of last year's X-factor winner and the whole list of Class A offences (not, I trust, from personal experience).

Can they have a label too? Or is it only parents who are insecure enough to need one?

To me, education is just something that happens when one human being meets another.