to want most parents to consider themselves home educators?

[Butterpie]

At least part time, anyway? I think you would find it very hard not to educate your child in any way yourself. I HE. My children are six months and three years old. It happens that we are not intending to send them to school for part of their education, but even if we were, it's not like when they were at home they would be sat in a darkened box is it?

Why doesn't every parent (especially of preschool children) say they home educate, at least part time? School is just another tool that some parents choose to use alongside their home education. You would hope.

Sadly, I hear too many stories of parents refusing to be involved in any way (not even reading bedtime stories or talking about the world) and maybe this more enpowering approach could help. Plus as soon as I started seeing myself as a home educator, I felt a lot better about myself. No longer was I a part time worker/unemployed, hardly any qualifications, with two unplanned children, unable to afford various things. I suddenly became the main educator of two beautiful girls who were growing and learning every day. I read up on various activities and learning methods, I made a special effort to be active parent and so on.

I might be talking rubbish (quite possible as I am typing whilst supervising Art, Technology, Science, Literacy and Numeracy-otherwise known as decorating gingerbread men) but wouldn't that approach enpower parents and help children, as well as making the school's job easier?

Butterpie, it sounds like you were unhappy at home and then discovered a role for yourself as home educator. Maybe you need to let your children go to school and get yourself a hobby or an art or a job. Seriously. A child is also a person in their own right and deserves some personal space and relationships with people without mum around all the time.
I know this will sound harsh to you, I say it meaning well. Take care of yourself, you're not only a mum, you are a woman with a personality separate to her loved ones.

no woman is solely mum or just mum.being mummy martyr is all consuming and will ultimately be unsatisfactory

our children are individuals who will increasingly seek to push,explore and define selves seperate from parents

butterpie,i detect an underlying angst and perhaps you need something for yourself. whatever that may be

'piscesmoon do you live in a bubble somewhere?! I teach a class of 30 children - can think of 3 parents at most who might ever have done one of the above. '

I am not living in a bubble. I had a class of 32 DCs today. Many people don't have very good parenting skills, but they want the best for their DC-other things get in their way. I don't think that anyone deliberately sets out to have a DC and never talk to it or interact with it or teach it.
I think that OP needs to relax more. I have always thought that being a mother is the most important position and beats any paid employment. You don't have to justify being a mother by turning it into a career. Benign neglect is just as important and they need a mix-by all means do a lot with them, but also give them space to be bored and use their imagination.

I have just read the op and are too tired to read six pages of posts, so this is my view. Your are admirable in your crusdade, but you do sound a bit pretentious and judgy. I am not a home educator but a mum to dd who is 3. She already recieves some informal education as she goes to nursery for a couple of hours each day, and will go to formal education at 4.5 years. Yes I try my best to fill dds time with different experinces and have read to her since she was a small baby. I really dont need somebody telling me what I should do, just get on with what you are doing please and leave us alone

Sorry piscesmoon I didn't mean my post to be so nippy - but cooking, museums, gardening and long walks are miles from the reality of what the kids at my school go home to.

I agree the OP needs to relax more, and am a big fan of benign neglect!

But I don't agree that the majority of people do the things you describe above - sadly for some children their only experience of that is in formal education.

I am not responsible for my dd formal education nor would I want to be, but will be there to help her and to teach her things about the world and her environment etc.

OP, it is really nice that you are feeling happy with yourself after PND and wanting to share that is nice too - but if I'd tried I don't think I could have written a post as likely to raise hackles! I think it's the 'sadly ...' that does it.

I can feel a few hackles rising here because my mum struggled like mad to home educate my brother (for all of a year) when he was 10 and reading/writing at the standard of a 5 year old. She did not find it 'empowering', just bloody hard work and depressing. I understand that that isn't your situation, but imo that is why people are likely to get upset about you calling it 'home education' when you've a baby and a three year old. You haven't had a chance to hit any problems yet, no wonder it feels like you're a great success as a teacher!

Ops kids are not old enough for formal education, they are 3 and six months, come back in a few years time.

If the OP "well dones" me many more times, I shall feel the need to revisit the car park.

"There is masses of time to read stories, have long discussions, cook, garden, do art work projects, visit museums, walk in the country etc etc etc

piscesmoon do you live in a bubble somewhere?! I teach a class of 30 children - can think of 3 parents at most who might ever have done one of the above."

Absolutely all the children I know have parents (and grandparents) who do the above, and much, much more, all their DCs' lives and all year round, with peaks in the holidays. But of course I know there are plenty of children in the UK and France who are not getting this experience of life. Therein lies the "achievement gap" - not in private vs. state schools...

Equally well why do people define themselves as home educators when probably at least 90% of what they do falls in the category of normal 'parenting'? Of course kids learn and develop at home if they didn't then there would be some extreme neglect going on.
The only difference is that defines me as a home educator is I have decided not to delegate the responsibility of my children's academic education to others and as you have made that decision I think that you can legitimately call yourself a home eder (particularly now when the norm is that 3yo are in preschool everyday).
I get that you are evangelical about it at the moment Butterpie, but even as a home educator I'm sorry I found your OP pompous and smug. While it is good to be confident and positive about your decision (you will meet with enough negativity) and if called on I can wax lyrical on the benefits of home education with the best of them, it isn't for everyone, neither is it perfect (you will have bad days believe me). People do see home education as a criticism of themselves sending their child to school, but for the majority it is a personal decision rather than a massive ideological standpoint and providing everyone has actually considered the options and are doing what is best for their family, home, state and private are all equally valid choices.
That said Butterpie, keep your positivity just maybe here was the wrong place. Set up a blog, it is a brilliant way to keep track of early education and gives you something to look back on (and restores your faith on bad days) and is a good bit of positive home ed propaganda if that is what you want.

"Equally well why do people define themselves as home educators when probably at least 90% of what they do falls in the category of normal 'parenting'?"

The thing is, itsstillgood, that people's understanding of what "normal parenting" is varies wildly. If you read the boards on MN, you read about parents who themselves grew up with parents who did loads of stuff with them, and think that that is the normal, healthy way of leading your family life. And you also read about people whose two parents were at work FT and did very little with their children; often, those are the people who have a hard time understanding what SAHMs do all day and are evangelical about paid work defining them and being vital to self-affirmation.

The thing I find sad about this thread is that it show how undervalued the role of "parent" is. It seems we need to validate ourselves by giving ourselves a job title - "mother" is a word in which the "just a....." is silent.

seeker - you have to have confidence in your own self and what you do. The reality is that much of parenting is done in private, not in public, and in order to have confidence in what you do in the private sphere with no external validation (a job title, desk, salary etc) takes a much more robust personality than merely gaining confidence from external validated activities.

OP- without wanting to sound harsh, maybe most parents dont feel the need for further "empowerment" (a good addition to any game of wank word bingo)done by dividing their parenting role into it's component parts and so giving themselves a few extra job titles. Maybe I should start describing myself as a "child development supervisor" or I could just say parent.

Role of a parent of any species is to prepare offspring for adult life- watch the discovery channel for a bit if you don't believe me. That includes making sure your child is appropriately educated. It's part of parenting. It doesnt matter if you do it or the school does it, so long as you ensure it's getting done.

"It doesnt matter if you do it or the school does it, so long as you ensure it's getting done."

This is an interesting one. I actually do think it matters that a child's upbringing and education is separated into different spheres, the public/institutional and the private/personal, and that both spheres are equally valid and validating. Strong family ties, and the sense of family history and culture that the transmission of skills, ideas and experience through the generations impart, are a vital part of the construction of a robust personality.

bonsior - you I do personally. I used the pronoun "we' collectively - meaning society at large!

I'm sure you do, seeker .

Personally, the longer I am a parent, the more I value all I do. Now that DD (5.6) has an active social life, with lots of friends round etc, I am able to observe children at close range and the massive behavioural differences between DCs who have spent the vast majority of their days with their mothers and those who have been with childcarers shows up in all its splendour!

show up in all their splendour...

Now now Bonsoir! Yes your choices are perfect, as are you, but some people aren't lucky enough to have that choice.

I know - though round me, most people really do have choices about SAHM vs. WOHM, so it's a fair observation!

" One thing I found quite worrying was the amount of grammar errors and other mistakes in the parents' posts. I'm not sure you can teach your own children very effectively if you don't have a reasonabe standard of education yourself"

Firstly, you mis-spelt "reasonable". Perhaps you were typing fast? Perhaps the parents on the HE forums were too???? We aren't all perfect, sadly.

The teacher's at my sons school couldnt spell, or use grammar, or tenses or punctuation properly. Therefore, I feel I can teach him those aspects of literacy better myself.

butterpie I am so pleased you have made your decision and are so happy and enthusiastic about it. May I suggest that an AIBU thread was not the best place to vent that enthusiasm??? I am afraid, as another poster said, if you do not adhere to the "norm" on MN some posters get very abusive and biligerent that you dare think/act differently than they do.

Good luck on your HE journey!

Yeeees, but we're not all around there now, are we?

I'm in a position to stay at home too and that makes me bloody lucky. It doesn't make me better than those who haven't got that choice.

Lecture over!

I guess they don't say it because it sounds poncy, ridiculous and quite frankly obvious.

Why do you feel the need to give a lecture in political correctness?