to want most parents to consider themselves home educators?

[Butterpie]

At least part time, anyway? I think you would find it very hard not to educate your child in any way yourself. I HE. My children are six months and three years old. It happens that we are not intending to send them to school for part of their education, but even if we were, it's not like when they were at home they would be sat in a darkened box is it?

Why doesn't every parent (especially of preschool children) say they home educate, at least part time? School is just another tool that some parents choose to use alongside their home education. You would hope.

Sadly, I hear too many stories of parents refusing to be involved in any way (not even reading bedtime stories or talking about the world) and maybe this more enpowering approach could help. Plus as soon as I started seeing myself as a home educator, I felt a lot better about myself. No longer was I a part time worker/unemployed, hardly any qualifications, with two unplanned children, unable to afford various things. I suddenly became the main educator of two beautiful girls who were growing and learning every day. I read up on various activities and learning methods, I made a special effort to be active parent and so on.

I might be talking rubbish (quite possible as I am typing whilst supervising Art, Technology, Science, Literacy and Numeracy-otherwise known as decorating gingerbread men) but wouldn't that approach enpower parents and help children, as well as making the school's job easier?

Wannabe is right, it is a smug statement, I think the best parenting is stuff you don't have to think about and therefore don't need to give a name to.

"But it can sound pretentious and smug, in the same way that a lot of what home educators say can sound pretentious and smug."

Actually that is my problem with HEs on this forum. They are only doing what other parents do out of schools hours, dressing it up as something special and superior.

A lot of children are getting all that plus the benefits of school as well.

I know I will get crucified for this, but I don't see how home-schooling by the parents is equivalent to school teaching. Unless the parent is a trained teacher, it's just not equivalent. For example, I can speak three languages but can I teach it to anybody? I probably could if I had training in teaching per se, otherwise I would be copying what the book says...
Also, I think school is important in teaching children to communicate with their peers, of being part of a community. At home, when mum is both mother and teacher and school mate, what's there to challenge the child?
I would feel differently if my child had been ostracized from school for any reason, but still I'd probably try to find a teacher that could come to my home.

I know a lot of parents in mumsnet home educate so I can imagine my ideas will make some angry, but I just wanted to share my views. Where I come from school education is compulsory and parents can be prosecuted for not sending their child to school so I'm probably biased as that's how I grew up.

patting myself on the back for saying "equivalent" twice in a single sentence

Of course we all should be HE-ers. I'm just a part-time one. School do the boring nuts and bolts stuff- reading, writing and rithmetic (with support from us) with a few extras. We do all the other essentials - nature study, philosophy, cooking, gardening, conversation, literature, music appreciation, politics, animal care etc etc. I think we have the better deal.

God, I'm the opposite to you OP. Thinking of myself as 'an educator' sucks all the fun out of parenting for me. What I want more than anything is to enjoy the time I spend with my kids, if I started doing things deliberately because they are a 'learning experience' rather than because they are just fun for us all then I'd be bored to tears. The kids learn loads from me incidentally (heck, we even make gingerbread men!!) but I really couldn't bear to formalise that and think of it as some kind of 'curriculum'.

I didn't say anything at the time but someone (I think it was Bonsoir) said the other day, something about schools only being there to check that the parents are actually teaching their children properly.
I know what she means.
Of course all our children are learning all the time.

I am a home swimming instructor and etiquette maestro.

'Sadly, I hear too many stories of parents refusing to be involved in any way (not even reading bedtime stories or talking about the world'

I don't know where you get that from! I find that most parents want to do their very best for their DCs. School is a very short part of the day, only 6 hours, 5 days a week and with at least 12 weeks entirely free a year! There is masses of time to read stories, have long discussions, cook, garden, do art work projects, visit museums, walk in the country etc etc etc etc. It is far more relaxing sharing the actual education with the school then you can do the bits you like and are not responsible for worrying whether they can use an apostrophe in the right place or know how many degrees in a triangle etc.It is also good for them to meet other adults and children with different views, otherwise there is the danger in thinking that the person 'talking about the world' has the only view.

I wouldn't bother Butterpie, anyone on here that isn't "normal" gets slagged off really badly.

It is nice you feel good about yourself but honestly don't bother.

Nellycats it honestly can work, I have friends that HE and their kids are at Uni.

Eric, you beat me to it. It comes under that all important job of parenting. Calling it home educating is poncey and unnecessary and you're picking a fight for no reason.

DD is 2 and sitting up in the bath now counting to 12. She's not a genius (well, obviously she is!), she can count to twelve because there are 12 steps on the staircase and we count them when we go up and down. It's not a conscious decision, it just slips out of my mouth. That's what parenting is. It's not all pooey bums and finger food.

'It comes under that all important job of parenting'

Exactly. It all part of being a parent and doesn't need a label.

I just see my job as a parent really, and don't think too much into education just now since DS is only 3yo. I do informal teaching with him, just like most others on this thread I suppose. Reading, talking about things we see as we go out for walks, painting etc. I don't see it as 'home education' though. I just see it as part of my role as a parent.

I think you're pretentious in the way that parents of pre-schoolers can be pretentious

it will wane

home educating is a great idea, but doesnt make it any better or worse than private or state school education. you do sound a bit...um, flowery and smug, sorry.
especially your last line.
also, bit mean to people who actually have degrees and are teachers. they do their bloody best you know.

"No longer was I a part time worker/unemployed, hardly any qualifications, with two unplanned children, unable to afford various things. I suddenly became the main educator of two beautiful girls who were growing and learning every day."

im sure your girls are beautiful and you are doing very well in your parenting, but you are still a the person you described in teh first sentence! and theres nothing wrong with that!

whilst i agree that parents should recognise that they are the primary influencers and educators on most things, that if we kept wchool teaching mostly academia instead of the piles and piles of wank the govt make teachers dot hese days - that instead of the govt parenting by proxy we might actually have kids leaving school who can read.

How is making gingerbread men teaching literacy?**genuine question

Well I think you are all being pretentious when you say you have a 'job' as a parent. It's not a job it's just a statement of fact. I am a parent. Full stop. No worse to say you're job is HE than it is to say your job is parenting.

We are parents. And as such we teach. It's inevitable.

I think YABU. I see the teachers as the trained professionals in education. I back them up and support them in any way I can but would not interfer/ feel that I can do a better job.

As a child I hated it when my parents tried to teach me stuff or got involved in my learning.

I am very "pushy" though in that we have maps on the walls, solar system table mats and educational trips to National Trust places.

Why do you care how other people label themselves? How does it affect what you do?

I fail to see the point of the OP - while it's great that she feels "...this more enpowering approach could help..." (sic) but, to be frank, I hate being preached to about what approach I should take towards my children.

I could also describe myself as a short order chef but the truth is, I'm just cooking the frigging dinner.

I go out of my way NOT to educate my children endlessly at home. I am their mother not their teacher, and I want them to come home to me and relax, cuddle up and not have to do learning. I also create lots of nice opportunities for them to play together by telling them to go and play outside til tea-time (but don't call it 'socialization' or creating 'learning opportunities'). I can't think of anything worse than thinking of myself as primarily an educator not a mummy; it's important they have somewhere to be themselves and not a constant pupil.

Furthermore, I don't talk to my dds about the world to educate them, I talk to them because I actually like my children and enjoy their company. The same may not be true of their teachers...

y TheProvincialLady Fri 21-May-10 20:13:29
I could also describe myself as a short order chef but the truth is, I'm just cooking the frigging dinner.

LOL

Ah, go easy on the OP, she's only recently taken the big step in deciding not to send her DDs to school and is just full of excitement about it and wanting to spread the good feeling. Her post obviously hasn't come across how she intended.