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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want most parents to consider themselves home educators?

181 replies

Butterpie · 21/05/2010 15:01

At least part time, anyway? I think you would find it very hard not to educate your child in any way yourself. I HE. My children are six months and three years old. It happens that we are not intending to send them to school for part of their education, but even if we were, it's not like when they were at home they would be sat in a darkened box is it?

Why doesn't every parent (especially of preschool children) say they home educate, at least part time? School is just another tool that some parents choose to use alongside their home education. You would hope.

Sadly, I hear too many stories of parents refusing to be involved in any way (not even reading bedtime stories or talking about the world) and maybe this more enpowering approach could help. Plus as soon as I started seeing myself as a home educator, I felt a lot better about myself. No longer was I a part time worker/unemployed, hardly any qualifications, with two unplanned children, unable to afford various things. I suddenly became the main educator of two beautiful girls who were growing and learning every day. I read up on various activities and learning methods, I made a special effort to be active parent and so on.

I might be talking rubbish (quite possible as I am typing whilst supervising Art, Technology, Science, Literacy and Numeracy-otherwise known as decorating gingerbread men) but wouldn't that approach enpower parents and help children, as well as making the school's job easier?

OP posts:
Butterpie · 21/05/2010 22:05

ARGH.

Why is it that when you choose something for your kids, anyone who has chosen anything else goes on the defensive? Everyone makes the choices that they feel are the best for their families. Very very few people go around purposefully damaging or neglecting their kids.

I have chosen to HE. I have also chosen to breastfeed, have the odd glass of wine, feed my three year old beans and sausage for tea and I don't give them a bath every night. None of these choices mean I am attacking the people who have made different choices. I have made decisions for my family, based on our circumstances.

I obviously put it wrong. You must all live in a world where you get unlimited praise and support in everything you do, where actually talking to your child like an adult doesn't cause raised eyebrows, where nobody ever has a crisis of confidence or has to explain why they have "wasted" the entire day. Well done.

I, however, know too many people who feel they have to follow a book or tv personality to the letter and feel terribly guilty when they make a choice that is somehow different, or they can't do the big ticket activities. I was just trying to say that everything you do has an educational value, and to be proud of yourself.

OP posts:
Portofino · 21/05/2010 22:05

lol Morloth! Good job this is not the Feminist thread. I wallpapered my first house, helped with the electrics, and tiled my kitchen, but when I acquired DH, it was HIS job.....strange how when we were selling up I had to PAY a nice man to come finish all the little jobs....

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:06

feeling really depreived that I wasn't taught how to change a plug fgs

That sounds like an idyllic childhood cory. I can understand your dp teaching you Latin at home but I'm surprised at the Greek but then I was totally mystified with Greek at school ( as indeed we all were) after 2 years. Just spent a lot of time trying to learn the translation off by heart as I recall...

ThisIsJustTheStart · 21/05/2010 22:07

Your sentiment is in the right place, Butterpie. It's great that you are happy with the way your HE is going. Don't take the thread too seriously.

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:08

you haveto lighten up now butter and join in the banter

ShadeofViolet · 21/05/2010 22:08

Op gets an A+ for nobbery!

Portofino · 21/05/2010 22:09

I live in a world where I don't expect PRAISE for bringing up my DD. I follow my own path and don't give a stuff what anyone else thinks.

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:10

nah she's alright, just comes across a bit of a zealot

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:11

my school must have been rubbish becasue I definitely did not learn how to change a plug or a tyre, how to make onion bhajis, do blanket-stitch. I did figure out that boys were fun. I ws perhaps thinking about that too much and missed all the practical stuff...

TheProvincialLady · 21/05/2010 22:12

Butterpie may I remind you that you are ENGLISH (presumably?) and therefore you Must Not be visibly proud of your children or how you raise them, it is Not Done. Did they not teach you that at school?

Call yourself an arse and pile in. You should have posted this in the Home Education topic. Posting in AIBU was bound to end in tears.

TheProvincialLady · 21/05/2010 22:13

(Please excuse the inadvertant arse/piles juxtaposition)

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:13

lol

Morloth · 21/05/2010 22:14

You might want to think about why you are being perceived this way OP, it isn't about what you are doing but about the way you are presenting it. Have a close re-read of your posts and maybe you will see why people are reacting the way they are.

Portifino, husbands very useful for all sorts of things. Just because I can do something doesn't mean that I want to, it is the ability that is important not the using it!

Lulumaam · 21/05/2010 22:14

if defining yourself as a home educator has made you feel better,more secure and positive, that is fantastic

not everyone feels the same

that is all

Portofino · 21/05/2010 22:14

I talk to my child like an adult too. Always did. Couldn't stand the cootchy coo stuff. No one has ever commented. Dd has a good vocabulary certainly.

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:16

OMG I used to talk to my dd in the weirdest falsetto.

I had no idea till a man in the sueprmarket drew my attention to it. I overheard dd talking to the guinea pigs like that. IT sounded so strange. I told dad and he said, oh your mum always spoke to animals like that.

Women in my family dead strange

scottishmummy · 21/05/2010 22:17

frankly its the gushy i am woman i am goddess come follow my path to enlightenment with HE and craft activities.a call to all emasculated wage slaves

and 3yo isnt home ed,its stuff with mummy

mum isnt a job

Morloth · 21/05/2010 22:18

Ds fell out of a tree today, so that's physics sorted then.

ThisIsJustTheStart · 21/05/2010 22:19
Grin
Morloth · 21/05/2010 22:20

I didn't push him though so I didn't actually teach the lesson. Could we consider the tree an educator?

Sorry OP, getting carried away now.

usualsuspect · 21/05/2010 22:21

What? [over my head]

SalFresco · 21/05/2010 22:22

Morloth ; did you explain why he fell? Then you are indeed an educator

ZZZenAgain · 21/05/2010 22:23

she may have provided him with some synonyms for "drat"

Morloth · 21/05/2010 22:25

No I said "Don't whine, I told you that if you wanted to climb the tree then you were not allowed to cry when you fell out of it".

He shrugged and went back to climbing the tree.

You ever see that episode of the Simpsons where Bart burns himself and keeps doing the same thing over and over and saying "Ow"? That is my kid. Sometimes I wonder about him.

EdgarAllenPoll · 21/05/2010 22:28

is this not the place to post my utter smugness at DD spontaneously choosing to spell out letters in her Meg and Mog book? (she spelled out m-o-g! and then p-u-t! genius!)

i am feeling perilously close to parenting nirvana.

easy whilst they're asleep.

YANBU OP, my Dad said in his eulogy to his departed mother that he was taught to read by a teacher...his mum.

now to read the thread and find how much/little i have placed foot in mouth with this post...