to be annoyed that a grandparent would be bringing a book with him when babysitting a toddler??

[lovechoc]

Today I had my dad over babysitting and he arrived with a book in his hand! I couldn't help but laugh and said 'you must be joking if you think you'll get peace to read a book!' but he just laughed.

later on he was in the garden with DS (3) and he was reading the book but not really paying attention to what was going on. It really got to me. I don't even read a mag when looking after DS because I can't get peace to read it. I don't even get peace to use the loo on my own either.

AIBU to think he shouldn't have been reading a book when babysitting?

Would be different if DS was a newborn and just slept all the time but he's an active toddler now and needs someone to be there watching him in case something happens.

Does anyone else's parents or in-laws do stuff like this?

Ummmm.. I don't know. The truth is, looking after toddlers and babies can be pretty boring for some.

I think a child of three should be able to entertain himself for short periods, or has my memory already escaped me?

But then, I do come from the school of benign neglect parenting .

My DC's behave better for their grandparents than for me so I wouldn't be suprised if they had a chance to read if they were only looking after my 3yr old DS (and not his younger sister too!).

Granparents are a billion time more relaxed about this childcare business .

My dad lets 3yr old DS hammer sodding great big nails into planks of wood, while he's sitting next to him of course.

I read books (or part of them anyway) sometimes when looking after the children.

Mine are 4 and 6 so a bit older though.

Probably wouldn't if I were looking after someone else's child but I don't think there's anything wrong with someone bringing a book with them.

I agree though that your dad probably wouldn't have got much reading done, bless him for trying though!

I would read a book when watching mine without even thinking about it. I would make sure they were around me and near but I dont see that you need to be constantly staring at or giving attention to a 3 year old?

wouldn't bother me at all. i sit and read too

your child is 3, and assuming your garden is vaguely child-safe i really don't see a problem

You watch all the time? Blimey how do you get anything else done? Yabu.

I am nearly 33 wks pg with no2 so hormones may have a part in me being seriously annoyed by today's events. If I'm watching DS I'm literally watching what he's doing.

MD that's what I don't get about men - what makes them think that it's a leisurely time they'll be having when babysitting or looking after DC?

I think my dad was counting on DS having a nap. If he can't handle looking after him he should just come out and say it.

When my mum looks after the DSs they all go outside and my mum does paperwork on the patio. Do you really watch him every second of the day? 3 is old enough I'd say to not need to be actively watched, just sort of supervised.

I did it when my kids were toddlers (I still do it). I sit in the living room, with screaming and shouting and yelling all around me and I pay no attention to it and I read.

You don't need to focus on them 100% 24/7. It's ok to let them play, and just be around to make sure they don't eat cat food, or shave off their hair or something.

I wouldn't be bothered at all if someone came to babysit and had a book with them.

I mean, you don't do it if you are somewhere where you need to be behind them to prevent them from danger, but I'm assuming your home is relatively free from danger?

Of course he should read a book if he can. I doubt he'll get much chance but not sure about the 'shouldn't have been'.

Can't see anything wrong with that. A tad optimistic maybe but not a hanging offence.

Maybe this will make you realise that you can put your feet up and read in the safety of your own back garden. Enjoy your magazine tomorrow.

well, fair play to your dad if he really did get to read his book.

i think YABU to be upset about it though. you sound a bit jealous tbh, as in " i dont even get to pee in peace so you shouldn't get to read while babysitting"
a bit immature really.

I hope you don't have your head in mumsnet at any time your dc is awake

I think YABU personally. A 3y doesn't need watching every second. At 3y my DD would go off and play by herself for periods of time. I certainly didn't watch her like a hawk all he time - if nothing else I had to get on with housework, cooking, a bit of MNing

So long as he was in hearing distane of your DS i can't see the problem. He was probably asting his eye up every few moment anyway.

BTW how do you know that he was doing this?

I read a book/mag/go on MN fairly regularly when im at home with my 3.5 DS normally in the living room where hes pottering about playing with his toys. I also come from the school of neglectful parenting though [;)] and indeed reckon my MUm did the same when I was a toddler and she generally takes a back seat when she babysits ......

Well, the way I see it is that you survived, so has your DS.

Totally agree with fernie3.

How will you be able to watch him so closely when the new baby arrives?

YABU. My 13mo can play on her own in the garden, a 3yo should be able to as well. Give your son a bit of freedom!

"If he can't handle looking after him he should just come out and say it. "

Sorry, I don't get what you mean? In what way can he not handle looking after DS? Did something happen to your DS in his care today?

because if not, and h still was ok to babysit, then it seems to be like he can handle it perectly well. He knows that he an sit and let DS play and still have a book at hand for himself. the two are not, IMO, exclusive.

only use MN when DS is asleep or DH is around.

Yep, probably ABU. I probably wouldn't have given a toss if I wasn't pg. Will have to blame those hormones!

God I MN loads while my 21 mo DD plays happily.

Wouldn't in the garden as I have to watch her more closely because of the steps and things.

But in the lounge where I know she can't hurt herself I happily ignore her unless she asks for attention.