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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that a grandparent would be bringing a book with him when babysitting a toddler??

99 replies

lovechoc · 20/05/2010 20:10

Today I had my dad over babysitting and he arrived with a book in his hand! I couldn't help but laugh and said 'you must be joking if you think you'll get peace to read a book!' but he just laughed.

later on he was in the garden with DS (3) and he was reading the book but not really paying attention to what was going on. It really got to me. I don't even read a mag when looking after DS because I can't get peace to read it. I don't even get peace to use the loo on my own either.

AIBU to think he shouldn't have been reading a book when babysitting?

Would be different if DS was a newborn and just slept all the time but he's an active toddler now and needs someone to be there watching him in case something happens.

Does anyone else's parents or in-laws do stuff like this?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 21:55

Kerala... you're fine
i left my 5yr old, 2.5 yr old and 11 month old in the garden while I made dinner!

TheCrackFox · 20/05/2010 22:04

Is that nursery going to be open 7 days a week when the new baby arrives?

3 yr olds should be able to entertain themselves a bit and don't need hovered over like an 8 month old would.

I have read a book a week since having DS1 (8yrs) and I have never needed a trip to A and E.

pigletmania · 20/05/2010 22:12

YABabitU to assume that you should watch your dc all the time in what is presumly a child friendly garden!. It would bore me to tears watching every millisecond of dd 3 playing in the garden, I often take a magazine outside and a cup of tea. As long as she is near and i can see her.

pigletmania · 20/05/2010 22:14

Or I am in the kitchen or in the house goind onMN doing chores chill! Your father has been there before and you turned out all right i presume!

pigletmania · 20/05/2010 22:15

meant goingonMN doing chores he he he

overmydeadbody · 20/05/2010 22:18

Oh god.

You sound a bit like a helicopter parent.

Children don't need constant supervision. You can read a book while being totally aware of a toddler at the same time.

merryberry · 20/05/2010 22:19

think granddad has the right idea. gives your child some practice at being without 100% surveillance. hopefully less of a shock when he needs to learn to wait his turn with you.

duchesse · 20/05/2010 22:24

He's 3. He can play with someone keeping a distant eye on him for at least half an hour or so by now, surely? Your dad was watching him -just not from 3 inches away. I think YABU (unless your son has some wild tendencies that you are not relating here).

BarkisIsWilling · 20/05/2010 22:25

My friend was doing a crossword while she was in labour, breastfeeding and reading at the same time, and registered her babies at the library by their second birthday.

She would love your dad to babysit for her, she says

Butterpie · 20/05/2010 22:31

I sat at playgroup today doing paperwork with one 3yo running about, climbing and so on and a baby sleeping next to me. It is rare I get time when I'm not breastfeeding/cooking/cleaning/changing nappies/reading/painting/whatever, so when they are happy by themselves, I let them be! It is good for them, the main thing I worry about as a hesahm is that they might not learn independance so I tend to force myself to ignore them a bit.

My 3yo gets chucked out into the garden loads while I potter about. The pond is fenced off and she shouts loud enough if she falls off the decking/pricks herself on a bush/eats some soil. I tend to be more "present" but still fussing over the baby/chatting with neighbours if she is in the front garden or playing with her trike/scooter/skateboard due to higher risks.

She knows where I am if she needs me.

Butterpie · 20/05/2010 22:34

...is registering your kids at the library before they are TWO something unusual now?

I always thought it is on a par with registering their birth, just the thing you do on your next visit after having them. Would you get books out for them on your card or something before that? You'd get fines...

UnseenAcademicalMum · 20/05/2010 22:45

Gosh, I can't imagine not being able to even read all day!

Mine are 5 and 2. The eldest actually needs more constant attention than the youngest (pfb). The 2 year old will happily just play in the garden whilst I read for short periods. So long as this is mixed with some playing with him I don't see the problem. We do things together, so they are not neglected by any means, but I don't feel the need to watch either of them all the time. So long as they are safe and happy then they're fine.

annh · 20/05/2010 23:08

So your dad (who maybe does find it a bit much to babysit an active toddler) is nice enough to come round to help you out and all you can do is fret because he is not watching your dc every second? Actually, if you could see that he was reading, does that mean that you were still in the house too so he wasn't even in sole charge? How many people were watching your 3-yr old in your own garden?!

Missus84 · 20/05/2010 23:14

He won't be watched 100% of the time at nursery either!

If your dad managed to read his book and ensure your DS came to no harm while he was babysitting, it clearly was reasonable, wasn't it?

darkandstormy · 20/05/2010 23:16

op perhaps he is experienced and chilled, I wouldn't worry, tbh I think you need to follow his example.

OldMacEIEIO · 20/05/2010 23:20

I wonder what the book was about ?

How to be a granddad
Places to bury a daughter

or maybe

it was never this complicated when I was doing it

booge · 20/05/2010 23:23

My mum does the crossword

Pozzled · 20/05/2010 23:27

Ermm, I read my book for about an hour today while my DD (21 months) played quite happily in the lounge. She interrupted me once or twice when she needed help with something, but otherwise played on her own.

Then later on, I pottered around the garden while she played. Every few minutes I looked up and checked that she was happy, but watching her constantly? Just don't see the need.

If I was going to babysit at someone's house and was a bit unsure of what the routine would be, I would certainly take a book. TBH I rarely go anywhere without taking a book.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 20/05/2010 23:28

I really don't get what the problem is. It may be that when DS was watching tv, playing with lego etc that grandad could get 5 mins or 30 to read a book.? No one was saying that he wasn't going to supervise ds, just not hover over him.

I have dd aged 3 and manage to work from home mumsnet.

I'd be grateful that grandparents are around to help.

stripeyknickersspottysocks · 20/05/2010 23:28

I don't think that counting on him having a nap is tantamount to saying he can't handle looking after him. If your son had had a nap and your dad hadn't had a book with him he'd have been bored.

I'm sure I used to manage to read when DD was 3. I'd give her ajigsaw to do for 20mins and I'd read a bit.

ememum · 20/05/2010 23:32

I think you should be grateful that your dad was happy to look after your son and YABU.

duchesse · 20/05/2010 23:47

Youngest child ever registered at our local library was 4 hours old. Dad had taken the toddler to the library after the birth and thought he'd register the new babe while he was there.

Our youngest was a few weeks old when registered. Worth doing as babies don't incur late charges (vs taking books out for them on your card)

jasmeeen · 21/05/2010 00:02

YABU but I blame those pregnancy hormones.....

Butterpie · 21/05/2010 00:07

DP had a library card before he was born. He was in the local paper and everything. His mum was the children's librarian and when she went on maternity leave, they made her a card up for the baby.

Beat that! :D

BirdyArms · 21/05/2010 01:02

YABU - I rarely do anything as decadent as bookreading when I'm with my 3yo but I do take advantage of every moment he's happily occupied to do some work/ internet shop/ email/ mumsnet - don't you do the same?

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