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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its ok for my responsible 13 yr old to babysit for my freind?

83 replies

NannymcDeb · 20/05/2010 18:57

What do you think? She is 14 in september and is very very good with children, has a natural way with them, and they all adore her.
Whenever she comes to my toddler group with me the children flock round her.
She is calm, patient and sensible, but I am worried that she is still too young, dunno, thoughts anyone????

OP posts:
FabIsGoingToGetFit · 20/05/2010 18:58

How old is the child she would be looking after?

Cogitoergosum · 20/05/2010 19:00

I think legally she's too young, and if anything went horribly wrong I'm not sure who'd be responsible - the parents of the children she was looking after, presumably.

Having said that, the babysitter that we used for several years was just short of her 14th birthday the first time we used her and it was fine. She was brilliant with the kids too, she didn't just sit in front of the telly with them but baked cakes 'n stuff until bedtime.

Original poster
NannymcDeb · 20/05/2010 19:00

Ha, well thats the thing,,,,,,
6,4,3 and1!!
But they are all really well behaved, and she would only be with them for half an hour before bed time.
She has done it with me when i've nannyed for said friend, but this time she would be alone,7-11.30 ish, but they all go to bed at 7.30.

OP posts:
loumum3 · 20/05/2010 19:01

My son is 14.4 and fantastic with his siblings and cousins but I don't think I would leave him alone in the house in charge in case there was a problem.

Original poster
NannymcDeb · 20/05/2010 19:04

I'm literally only a phone call away if she needs me tho. I think thats the thing thats swinging it, i can be there in 2 mins if needed.

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 20/05/2010 19:04

No way! You'd expect a 13 year old to put '4' small children to bed. On her own ? No chance - sorry. I think it's really unfair of your friend to ask you.

mountainmonkey · 20/05/2010 19:06

I babysat four children when I was around that age (they were a 10 yo, 7 yo and twin 4 yos). But their mum was working in the local shop which was literally two doors down from the house so if there'd been an emergency help was at hand. I coped just about but it was a bit overwhelming when they started fighting, tantrumming etc. I'd imagine if she's quite mature and its just one or two kids she'd probably be ok. What does your friend think?

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 20/05/2010 19:07

I think too young for that many children of those ages but I get the feeling she is going to do it anyway.

scurryfunge · 20/05/2010 19:10

Way too young. The parents would be responsible for all of the children, including the babysitter.Too risky.

thisisyesterday · 20/05/2010 19:12

i started babysitting when i was 13, but never for 4 kids, and i never had to do bedtime

could you go with her and get them to bed?

i think as you're so close then it would be ok, i just think that 4 kids is a lot to manage at bedtime

RustyBear · 20/05/2010 19:14

I was babysitting at 13, but only school age kids who were already in bed when the parents left. In fact, I baby-sat Barry Norman's kids when I was 13-14, they were about 6 & 8. I wouldn't have had a clue what to do with a one-year-old at that age.

cat64 · 20/05/2010 19:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Cadders1 · 20/05/2010 19:20

Can the parents not go out after they have put the kids to bed - or could you go round for the first half hour. A lot to expect to put 4 children to bed.

nbee84 · 20/05/2010 19:20

I think if the children would be in bed (and likely to stay there) it would be ok if you are that close. Could you go round and help her put the children to bed and then go home?

nbee84 · 20/05/2010 19:21

xpost with cadders - same lines of thinking.

verytellytubby · 20/05/2010 19:22

I wouldn't use her. Too young. I couldn't bear it if anything went wrong and she felt responsible for it for the rest of her life.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 20/05/2010 19:22

I was babysitting at that age. Most of my friends also had babysitting jobs at that age. It's just what you did. 12, 13, 14 - babysit for the neighbours' kids. People see it very differently now. What was acceptable - no - normal, has now become something frowned upon.

Haliborange · 20/05/2010 19:41

I was babysitting at this age (and can remember my parents going for a night out and leaving me (10) and my brother (7) alone which would no doubt get them pilloried now), but I didn't do bedtime and I didn't look after 4 children. I think 2 was the most and they were in bed but awake when I arrived. Mind you, some of them used to get up and mess around and one was a frequent bedwetter so I had to deal with that too.

If you are close by (i.e. could help with bedtime if needed) I think it is probably fine. Seems that I am the only one though!

BigFatSepticToe · 20/05/2010 19:45

however responsible and mature she is, i think 4 children so young is too much responsibility, i really do. If they were all gonna be in bed asleep thats one thing, but having to "do" bedtime, thats a big ask!!

Kathyjelly · 20/05/2010 19:48

As long as she can contact you or the mum at all times by phone, and you or the parents aren't hours away, I can't see the harm.

In fact if the mum is happy, I think it's a good idea.

jeee · 20/05/2010 19:52

My mum wouldn't allow my sister or me to babysit babies or toddlers. We were both irritated by her refusal, as we reckoned we could do as good a job as any of our friends. I know now that she was terrified of a serious illness, as my 6 month old cousin had died (cot death). With hindsight I agree with her, and I won't allow my DC to babysit very young children, until they are adult themselves.

colditz · 20/05/2010 19:53

I would never leave anyone under 20 with more children than they have hands, unless they have a childcare qualification.

It's not her age that's really the issue, it's her relative youth AND the fact that putting to bed 4 kids under 7 is a major undertaking for a 30 year old mother, never mind a 13 year old girl

colditz · 20/05/2010 19:55

COULD you go round and settle them into bed for her/with her? Then stay on the end of the phone if she needs you throughout the evening.

The fact that you would back her all the way would swing it for me, I think bedtime will be just too much on her own though, it would be too much for most adults.

GypsyMoth · 20/05/2010 19:56

sometimes,in some families,4 children can be as easy and well behaved as one child on its own!!

gorionine · 20/05/2010 20:02

At 12 I was working in a family looking after a 4 yo and a 3yo. I used to take them to the swimmingpool was the mum was having a bit of time for herself. The thought of it scares me sensless now though! what were these people thinking giving me so much responsability!

I do think that for a responsable 13yo, looking for 4 dcs in their own home for a short periode of time is quite OK though.

I like colditz idea of you being on the other hand of the phone if help needed.