to think its ok for my responsible 13 yr old to babysit for my freind?

[NannymcDeb]

What do you think? She is 14 in september and is very very good with children, has a natural way with them, and they all adore her.
Whenever she comes to my toddler group with me the children flock round her.
She is calm, patient and sensible, but I am worried that she is still too young, dunno, thoughts anyone????

I think 4 kids is too many at bedtime, I would go and give her a hand. I would never leave my 3 kids awake for a babysitter. The younger two are always in bed and the eldest is 12 (I still get a babysitter for him as I don't think it is fair to leave him with a 9 year old and an 11 month old. He will be 13 in September and is clever, capable and mature) bottom line is I don't think it's fair to your daughter and if anything goes wrong, she will feel awful.

Have contradicted myself as I wrote this, now not sure what I think!

Can you imagine leaving 4 kids with a 13 YO and, god forbid, something went wrong.Even if it wasn't the babysitters fault, what people would think and say.How would it look as a newspaper headline? Could you honestly say you wuldn't judge?

I agree with mumtolawyer and those who say that we have lost our trust in teenagers to behave responsibly. How true and how sad. I was certainly babysitting at 13, and I was certainly responsible and capable enough.
And as for the question from the poster that a 13 year old wouldn't want to look after children because she could be "enjoying her childhood" - well that is a very sad and telling comment. Isn't looking after children a fun and enjoyable thing to do? Isn't it good and normal and natural for teenagers to want to spend time with teenagers? Why do we expect teenagers to only want to be selfish, or concerned with themselves? Teenagers are NOT all like that. We might also encourage them to, you know, earn money??

Having already said that I used to babysit for that many children at that age...

I don't think that people are saying that the issue is not being able to trust a teenager to behave responsibly. It's more about having the life experience to know how to react to different situations. The thing with that argument is that
(a) if you never get the chance, you will never gain that experience (and in this case, the OP has said that her daughter HAS looked after the children before, albeit with her mother, so it's not like she has never experienced looking after children before)
and (b) it totally depends on the teen in question. I was the eldest of 4, was quite a bit older than the younger 2, and was helping my mum with looking after the babies from about 9 years old. I was far more used to being round children than, say someone one or two years older than me who didn't have any younger siblings.

I remember my grandmother telling me that when she was 5 her mother was expecting another baby (she already had 2 younger sisters) and a neighbour remarked she'd have her hands full when the baby arrived.
My great grandmother was quite put out, and said "well, no, I have a big girl of 5 to help me with everything!"
Obviously I'm not advocating that but it is interesting to see how much the age of responsibility seems to go up all the time. Maybe by the time DD is an adult, the expected age of babysitters will be over 18

I agree with Harpsichordcarrier.

In a few short years this girl could be: married, a mother herself, driving (therefore in control of something that could kill others), standing for parliament, having sex, training to be a nurse or doctor, being paid as a nanny.

How are teens supposed to learn to be adults without being given a taste of responsibility before they reach adulthood?

If she is ready for responsibility, knows her own limits and will call the cavalry if needed why shouldn't she try?

I have known very sensible 14 year olds, and also completely cockish 21 year olds who I wouldn't trust to do my laundry. I'd bet if they had been less coddled growing up they might be more effective adults.

OP im confused- why are you asking peoples advice on the matter but then saying well she's doing it anyway?

lol @ 'perhaps legally in the wrong'.

there's nowt like a bit of scare-mongering of a friday night.

legally indeed. ultimately, we're all going to make our own minds up. as we're legally entitled to.

i'll continue to look at the 13yo in question and make my own mind up. the last 13 yo that sat for my three (inc one with a disability) was fine. i'll use her again quite happily. her 15 yo sister is a bit flighty though, so i choose not to use her.

this has all got a bit daft, and i'm really very sad for the young people that are being written off as incapable. and quite sad for the posters who really seem to believe that we would be putting our children in danger by giving a teenager responsibility for a few hours.

Quote: How are teens supposed to learn to be adults without being given a taste of responsibility before they reach adulthood?

Well..there are many ways that 13 year olds can learn to be independent and responsible which are AGE APPROPRIATE. Looking after 4 young children is a task for adults. 13 year olds learn to be responsible by going out and socialising with their peers, attending school, being given some choices and encouraged to consider which to take.

I am surprised that so many people accept that it is ok for a 13 year old to look after 4 young children. She may seem responsible but would she have the ability to make quick decisions in an emergency?

Sorry, but I think that it is extremely risky, and possibly illegal - there is no legal age for young people to be allowed to babysit, what the real issue would be is that potentially 5 children are being left home alone, including the 13 year old. This is where parents could potentially be held accountable legally.