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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its ok for my responsible 13 yr old to babysit for my freind?

83 replies

NannymcDeb · 20/05/2010 18:57

What do you think? She is 14 in september and is very very good with children, has a natural way with them, and they all adore her.
Whenever she comes to my toddler group with me the children flock round her.
She is calm, patient and sensible, but I am worried that she is still too young, dunno, thoughts anyone????

OP posts:
gorionine · 20/05/2010 20:03

Sorry for typos + it was a 4yo and a 1yo, no 3yo arround!

TabithaTwitchet · 20/05/2010 20:05

I used to babysit 4 kids when I was that age - cooking their evening meal, doing their homework with them, bathtime, putting them to bed. Sometimes they would have friends over for a sleepover too (which I did think was kind of taking the piss) My parents were a 10 minute drive away.
When I was a bit older I used to babysit for 5 kids (not the same family ) 3 of them were under 3 yrs.
I would say it depends on the behaviour of the children rather than how many there are -
I always managed fine.
If you think your daughter can cope, she probably can.

But the aspect of the legality of it might concern me more.

Raksha · 20/05/2010 20:08

I babysat for four kids at that age (and answered the telephone for their taxi company, and radioed the cabs to their pick-ups.)
I got paid about £15 a night - they gave me a lift home when all the calls dried up after midnight and they got back.

i do look back on it and wonder, though. Kids were about 7,5,3 and 2 iirc...

Where I live now, they run babysitting courses for 12yos - it's widely accepted that 12 is fine. In reality, people with newborns or lots of children do look for older sitters, but 12 is definitely the 'good to go' age.

AnyFucker · 20/05/2010 20:10

I would not use her for my own children

And I would not allow my own 14yo DD to do that

OldMacEIEIO · 20/05/2010 20:38

Only a few decades ago this would never have even been a question. It would probably have been compulsory.
But times change, the big question now is not whether she is capable, but how much shit you will have to put up with from the commentators if you allow it

yanbu

AnyFucker · 20/05/2010 21:14

a few decades ago, we used to send children up chimnies

OldMacEIEIO · 20/05/2010 21:19

see what I mean.
Its the commentators talking shite you have to watch out for

not whether she is capable

GerbilMeasles · 20/05/2010 21:27

If she's happy to do it (and she presumably knows the children, so will have a fair idea if she can cope), the parents are happy (and presumably know and trust her) and you're 2 minutes away. Only snag is that what happens if there's a real crisis with one of the tinies - falls down stairs, chokes on lego brick, that sort of thing. Even 2 minutes away is a long way in that sort of situation, and she wouldn't be able to leave the immediate crisis to find you/call you.

That being said, I think that teenagers (even quite young ones) need to be given some responsibility. I can remember babysitting from around the same age - a 4 and a 6 yo, including putting them to bed (but they were already bathed and in pjs). My younger sis was babysitting at the same time for the family next door but one to mine - and she's 18 months younger than me, so she would have been 12. Bit scary thinking about that now! But my parents were across the road from us both so could have been there within seconds if there was a problem.

About a year after I started babysitting (so would have been about 15) I looked after the two of them (plus their friends and friends brothers and sisters - at one point we had a full cricket team ranging from 18 months to 8 years old) during school holidays whilst their mum was at work - so from 8 to 4 every day, cooked dinner, did washing and ironing.

I'm amazed looking back how mature we were expected to be at that age - I've definitely regressed since then.

AnyFucker · 20/05/2010 21:32

well, if you don't want the "commentators" to share their opinion, don't ask for it

scurryfunge · 20/05/2010 21:40

Do you include yourself as a commentator OldMacEEIO?

OldMacEIEIO · 20/05/2010 21:45

I dont believe I have offered an opinion yet.
merely an analysis on social change.

I would leave it up to op to determine whether dd is capable, but warn her to watch out for snides

scurryfunge · 20/05/2010 21:47

Yes OMEIEIO, that's completely different then

AnyFucker · 20/05/2010 21:56

no, oldmac...you would rather offer an opinion on other posters

whatever floats ya boat

oldandgreynow · 20/05/2010 21:57

There's a lot of difference between 'sitting' for children who are asleep in bed and '''childcare' which is what your DD would be doing.
She is way too young for that kind of responsibility

OldMacEIEIO · 20/05/2010 22:06

no, oldmac...you would rather offer an opinion on other posters

whatever floats ya boat

???
can this be the same AF who called me seriously weird a couple of hours ago ?
offering an opinion on another poster ?

get yourself sorted out woman

AnyFucker · 20/05/2010 22:07

trucker

harverina · 20/05/2010 23:13

I would say absolutely not. This would essentially mean that 5 children are being left at home alone, with no adult supervising. In some instances, it can be considered illegal to leave a 13 year old home alone. No matter how mature a 13 year old may seem, it would be my view that no 13 year old has sufficient life experience to supervise 4 children of these ages alone, no matter who is at the end of the telephone. I do not think that the fact that the children are well behaved even comes into it. 13 year olds themselves need guidance and support from responsible adults on a day-to-day basis.

Pannacotta · 20/05/2010 23:22

No way, she is too young to have this level of responsibilty IMO.

sunnydelight · 21/05/2010 02:00

I always thought that 13 was the age recommended by the RSPCA as old enough to babysit?

IMO she's certainly old enough to babysit, but that is a lot of small children. If they could be in bed before she arrives I wouldn't see a problem.

MadamDeathstare · 21/05/2010 04:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 21/05/2010 04:15

Were I live (Canada) they run babysitting courses for 11 year olds (first aid, what to do in an emergency etc), but the assumption does seem to be that they don't start sitting much younger children immediately. I started babysitting at 14, and think this is a fairly good age for starting to take on responsibility, but four children with one of them so young I think probably is a bit too much for the whole bed time routine (I just think that is a lot to ask). I'd either wait until she was a little bit older, or start her off on a smaller challenge first (however easy the children are). I do think that babysitting course are a good idea - I am sure I would have had no idea what to do in an emergency.

helenwombat · 21/05/2010 05:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curryfreak · 21/05/2010 10:26

I think she's way too young. It's a lot of responsibility on a 13year old, and frankly i think she should be enjoying her own childhood!

titchy · 21/05/2010 10:39

RSPCA Sunny?! NSPC surely...

curryfreak · 21/05/2010 10:45

Just wondering as well, what's in it for her? What would a 13 year old get out of looking after three children.
the more i think about it, the more awful it seems. Why doesn't your friend hire and pay for a proper babysitter, or just stay at home if she's not prepared to do that.