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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the Doctor to respect my wishes?

644 replies

loumum3 · 20/05/2010 18:45

I have not vaccinated my youngest child. I have done this after much research and made an informed decision. The Doctor's surgery has phoned me several times now and written requesting I go in for a discussion about this. I haven't got time for a visit to discuss this, nor do I want to so I said if I had to, I could talk about it on the phone....I have had the Doctor on the phone this afternoon grilling me about my choices, really trying to scare me into having the jabs done and trying to make me feel bad. She cannot see my point of view at all and has been very rude.

Is is really too much to expect a Doctor to respect the decisions I make about my own children ?

Has anyone else experienced this ?

OP posts:
electra · 22/05/2010 13:29

Pixie - I don't think there is any point in a debate about the fact that the risk of eating certain foods is somehow comparable to the possibility of vaccine damage. I do accept that there are risks in everything in life, but I do not think that amounts to an assertion that we should not be concerned about any of the issues that arise wrt the current mass vaccination program.

I've stated my position and there is not a single one of you who would have had your child vaccinated if you knew they would be damaged as a result - you had them vaccinated because you assumed they wouldn't be affected.

bridewolf · 22/05/2010 13:29

i really dont wonder why terrorists bother to bomb us........all the need to do is get hold of some of those childhood viruses, and spread them out !

if done in london, a bit of measles spread around with such a low uptake on vaccination a huge number of kids and the weak will be wiped out.

time will see if these children without vaccinations grow up, and have their children die from the huge uprise in these diseases.....

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/05/2010 13:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

electra · 22/05/2010 13:32

I think that your post raises a question about food allergy awareness though - surely there should be more research to find out why certain children are more predisposed to potentially fatal food allegies?

It doesn't take away from the fact that we should be concerned about mass vaccination though imo.

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/05/2010 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

electra · 22/05/2010 13:36

To answer that question Pixie, we do not have a history of food allergies in our family or anything which would lead me to think that they could be affected by food allergies. Perhaps this issue is itself something we should all be more informed about as well?

Vaccination is a different issue for my children though.

giveitago · 22/05/2010 13:39

Having read the op I won't bother reading the responses.

If you don't vaccinate your kids you are just depending on others to vaccinate their kids.Nice.

If you think there are issues then discuss with medical professionals.

I was one of the ones who had a concern about MMR - so I had them done individually but there was no way my ds wasn't going to benefit from immunity.

I managed to get ds a tb jab when very young - in my area only a few qualify and I argued for it.

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/05/2010 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bruffin · 22/05/2010 13:46

"I've stated my position and there is not a single one of you who would have had your child vaccinated if you knew they would be damaged as a result - you had them vaccinated because you assumed they wouldn't be affected."

No - I had them vaccinated because I believe that there is potentially more risk from the disease than from the vaccination.

pagwatch · 22/05/2010 13:48

Oh good grief

My developmentally average son had vaccinations at 18 months and imediately stopped talking, stopped usingthe potty, developed bowel problems, became violent and is now , aged 13, severely autistic with no possibility of a normal life ever.

I haven't vaccinated DD.
I am comfortable with that decision.
I don't give a shit what other people think. I don't give a shit what persuasion, scaremongering etc etc my GP would care to use ( although he doesn't actually as he agrees with me).

Frankly putting an issue as personal as vaccination in AIBU annoys me. My son is fabulous but to hear trite fisty cufff smart arse comments thrown about re this issue is grating.

OP YABU. If you have made your choice then get a back bone and stop bleating.

All the 'you are being irresponsible posters'.. assuming that others making different decisions to you are foolhardy or irresponsible is arrogant and twattish.

Most of us try really hard to protect our kidsthe best way we can.

I am going to hide the thread now so that you can air your views as openly as you wish. I am not trying to stifle debate and will withdraw so that is easy for everyone ( especially me).

But please consider that it is easy for you to be aggressive and posturing when your child has not been polaxed.

electra · 22/05/2010 13:54

pagwatch - so eloquently put. I haven't seen a vaccination thread on here for ages - a couple of years ago we had got to the stage where most people understood the other side of the issue and had stopped posting 'selfish and irresponsible'. Ah well.....

PixieOnaLeaf · 22/05/2010 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:05

"If you don't vaccinate your kids you are just depending on others to vaccinate their kids."

rubbish, for me anyway

I think it would be great if fewer people vaccinated and it doesn't make any difference to your child if I don't

if you don't want to put your child at risk from vax then don't do it: but don't vax and then insist I risk mine as well just because you did

yes, there's a big rise in food allergies and all auto-immune disorders

but the authorities are certain that the earliest significant trauma to the immune system is not to blame

not entirely sure how, as no one knows what does cause these problems but thank goodness we can know for sure without any significant research that it's nothing to do with vaccinations

bruffin · 22/05/2010 14:05

I am not trying to stifle debate

That constantly what you do pagwatch - you and a few other normally dominate these discussions and take away the real perspective of the problem.

runnybottom · 22/05/2010 14:05

Understood the other side? I think the entire point is that we don't undertstand the other side, and we believe you don't either.

I have every sympathy for people who believe that vaccines have harmed their children, and I'm sure that in some cases they are correct, but I'm also quite sure that in many cases they are not. Post hoc ergo propter hoc and all that.....

giveitago · 22/05/2010 14:10

There are issues with vaccines I think - I mean there are clauses within the NHS to have separate mmr I believe. That's why I had mmr done indivually. But by the same token I had to fight with the nurse at the tb clinic over our referal for ds - she saw a little fair skinned child and decided he didn't need tb jab - I argued the opposite for him and ensured he got it.

What makes me mad is that I know lots of people who have no history of illness but just think they don't have to vaccinate their little darlings as they can benefit from the idea that the rest of us have.

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:12

"I had them vaccinated because I believe that there is potentially more risk from the disease than from the vaccination."

That's just what it is -- a belief. The risks from vaccination are not known and the risks of childhood disease are exaggerated.

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:13

Would just like to put my hands up again as someone who really doesn't rely on other people vaccinating.

giveitago · 22/05/2010 14:14

I think it would be great if fewer people vaccinated and it doesn't make any difference to your child if I don't

Yes, because I had him vaccinated.

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:17

No, that's right, giveit. So I don't know why people with vaccinated children mind about the non-vaccinators tbh. That's what I mean, it may not have been clear.

Do you know I jumped in this thread so headfirst I think I need to readjust my clothing.

Although not my views of course

electra · 22/05/2010 14:19

'but I'm also quite sure that in many cases they are not'

Sheesh - how arrogant to suggest people do not know when their child has regressed. I can't see that there is ever going to be a constructive debate with that kind of perspective.

bruffin · 22/05/2010 14:27

Electra
"How arrogant to suggest people do not know when their child has regressed. I can't see that there is ever going to be a constructive debate with that kind of perspective."

Its a well know phenomona that peoples memories of things like this can be inaccurate - They need something to blame so things like the date of first symptoms become closer to the event etc.

This was pointed out by Richard Horton's book on why he regreted publishing Wakefields paper.
The medical records of children who parents claimed were damaged were looked at retrospectively and even though the parents now claimed their children were fine before hand, medical records showed that they had taken their children to the GP with concerns etc

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:32

and that's why we don't know what the risks of vaccination are

because if people produce evidence it's dismissed as what? imaginary, desperate, poorly remembered..

voila! vaccine damage disappears

"The medical records of children who parents claimed were damaged were looked at retrospectively and even though the parents now claimed their children were fine before hand, medical records showed that they had taken their children to the GP with concerns etc"

except of course the babies might very well have been damaged by their infant vaccinations and a deeper regression triggered by MMR

electra · 22/05/2010 14:32

bruffin - we'll have to agree to differ on that

I also do not 'rely' on others to vaccinate. What nonsense.

backtotalkaboutthis · 22/05/2010 14:33

electra don't hide it, don't be depressed about it, you are making good sense