To think my friend shouldn't be discussing this yet with her 12 year old dd (bit intimate0

[Curiousmama]

She's been discussing puberty etc.. with her dd who's starting to change slowly. That's a good thing as I believe you need to be open and able to talk about this sort of thing.

But she's also said she'll show her how to shave her lady bits when she needs to. I know my friend is obsessed with this for herself but surely her dd should choose? Not that I want to know but I just feel it's going a bit too far. Or am I being stuffy, is this the norm? I only have dss but have lots of girls in my family and have never heard of this?

Btw friend isn't a mumsnetter so won't see this. Although tbh, if it came up I'd say it to her face that I think she should let her decide.

My dd is 10 next month. She is going through puberty now, and has started growing hair in pits and on pubes. I have not made any attempt to teach her how to shave yet, she'll come to me and ask the question soon enough, she knows she can talk about these things.

However, I only do legs, pits and the very occasional hollywood, and I don't think I'l discuss the hollywood with dd, that'll be her choice when she's (much) older.

Dont think its right for a 12yo when shes older her choice but at 12 no... Ya tell her how to shave legs and pits but also tell her da sooner she starts shaving the sooner she will be stuck doing it on a regular basis! Everyone knows if you shave it it comes back thicker and stronger... I did do the dry shaving thing and ouch it hurts but still think tellin her to remove it all is way ott...
Re muslim guidelines its recommended for men and women to trim their pubic hair every 40days. NOT to remove it all, But as with everything thats personal choice and im sure many arab women do as do many British women but it is purely a choice/cultural thing not a requirement of our religion.
Someone said its wierd our religion even discusses it but our religion discusses every single thing its all normal and natural, we have lots of religious programs etc all about the islamic/sunna guidelines about everything

Dont think its right for a 12yo when shes older her choice but at 12 no... Ya tell her how to shave legs and pits but also tell her da sooner she starts shaving the sooner she will be stuck doing it on a regular basis! Everyone knows if you shave it it comes back thicker and stronger... I did do the dry shaving thing and ouch it hurts but still think tellin her to remove it all is way ott...
Re muslim guidelines its recommended for men and women to trim their pubic hair every 40days. NOT to remove it all, But as with everything thats personal choice and im sure many arab women do as do many British women but it is purely a choice/cultural thing not a requirement of our religion.
Someone said its wierd our religion even discusses it but our religion discusses every single thing its all normal and natural, we have lots of religious programs etc all about the islamic/sunna guidelines about everything

Sorry bout the double post! stupid phone...

I remember my mother telling us girls to avoid shaving/removing hair anywhere until a couple of years after your periods had settled down, because follicles very reactive at that age. Don't know if that's bollocks, but both my sisters followed her advice, and have naturally very sparse and pale body hair, I shaved/depilated/creamed legs and underarms from about 11 and am a complete yeti! Have never shaved closer to my ladybits than bikini line as am terrified of slipping and catching something sensitive

Shaving down there pubic hair comes straight from porn and it is wronger than a wrong thing to introduce a 12 year old to.

Jeez, I'm so naive. I rarely even bother to trim my bikini line. I don't swim much and I don't care if there are spiders' legs on the very rare occasion that DH is 'treated' to a glimpse of me in my knickers. He's got a bit of a hairy back so there'd be ructions if he had any complaints about my lady garden.

And as for the thought of exposing myself to a pro to get it waxed off? No chance!

Poohbearsmom - intersting post (both of them - but I'm still thinking it a bit strange that the religion has "guidelines" for trimming pubic hair!

Agree it's great to have no areas out of bounds for discussion, but THIS topic just seems weird and controlling (for men or women). Would the head of Church of England or any other major religion be listened to in terms of their bodily grooming choices? The very thought makes me smile. Are these guidelines from a muslim holy book? Please don't tell me the bible mentions trimming pubic hair!

I'm not looking to stir trouble between people and their beliefs (atheist), just slightly amazed.

ah thats nothin! all situations are allowed to be discussed so that way ya know what way is best (according to the sunna of course and still 100%25 your choice if ya do it or not!) we have guidelines on everything from eatin to bathing to cleanin after using the toilet to sex (positions etc) on men and their "stuff" like they HAVE to have a shower if they come or have a wet dream etc its all discussed open forum by religious holy ppl very matter of factly having been raised a catholic i can not begin to imagine the priest sitting down with a group educating them on the christian guidelines with regards to anything of a "sexual" nature but ppl just want to follow the religion and do whats recommended (still personal choice though!) but if we dont talk about all kinds of stuff how will we ever know? Like im not stupid i know we'l know but i mean if your religious and stuff... Gosh i sound sooooo stupid but ya know what i mean...

well, i suppose to im too brainwashed now, but its okay for men to trim their beard and for both genders to cut the hair on their heads, so i dont see why its 'being sexualised' to keep the other hair on your body in check, if thats what you want? i mean, 12 is too young for pube shaving because its tricky buisness but like i've said, i find having loads of pubic hair itchy [and have done before i start trimming] and i just dont like the look of it poking out of my pants. and the hairs on my legs irritate when they are long and i wear trousers, and having hair under my arms makes me sweaty.
i know lots of people do it for the appearance, i do it because it's comfier for me!

but people who shave ALL their pubic hair off need to ask themselves why, because it makes you look like a little girl beyond messed up.

I see nothing wrong with it..live and let live?

tums - couldn't not comment - i have just nabbed someones post from earlier

By msrisotto Wed 19-May-10 13:21:37
Shaving down there pubic hair comes straight from porn and it is wronger than a wrong thing to introduce a 12 year old to.

Bloody hell! YANBU.

There was me wondering if I should stop my occasional fanjo shaving in case I give DD the wrong message . She's 2 1/2.

BritFish - for me, when I shave, it's about the feeling (not of the shaving, but of the sex) rather than about the look. TBH I don't like the way it looks at all...

I wish someone had shown me, i wouldn't have spent 3 weeks with agonising razor burn in my groin.

It's all very well saying it's a choice, but if you don't know how to do something, it's NOT a choice.

I have stretch marks, massive tits and distinct hips, some wrinkles and a few grey hairs. The LAST thing I look like is a little girl, britfish, pubes or no pubes.

the people who need their heads examining are the people who cannot accept the way someone chooses to groom themselves without thinking of Durty Peedos

"bikini line maintenence is probably advised if you are very hairy."

You're all bloody hypocrites.

Either all pubic hair is normal and natural, and shouldn't be removed because that's sexual behavior OR it's a bloody annoyance to some people and can be whipped off as part of normal grooming routines.

You can't have a flipping LIMIT on how much your'e allowed to cut off before it's considered to be 'sick'. Controlling, much?

Nobody showed me how to do it and I'm glad of it. Bah. I was pregnant the first time I shaved, my belly got to big to trim without cutting myself and my bush was making a run for my knees so I decided to try shaving. I was very pleased I did. Much easier, no bleeding labia and the hidden bonus amazing sex.

Shaved or hairy, I dn't think I looked much like a child at 7 months pregnant and nor do I now.

colditz and driven to distraction, i didnt mean to offend, i must not have made myself clear. i meant women who shave the bit over your pubic bone off. i dont understand why this is done, it can be trimmed and not look 'messy' or whatever. shaving the 'underneath' fine by me, what i usually do, its just taking everything off, i would be concerned about my partners attitude to hair for example, as if i was completely hairless all over down there, it looks like a prepubescent girl. it does. theres no way around that. personally, i wouldnt feel comfortable with a sexual partner thinking that was okay or that it was desirable in some way.
im not one to scream 'peadophile' at every old man offering my child a lollipop or 'sexualisation!' at barbie dolls btw!
and also, as we all know, hair growth is really itchy and the front part muffy bit is very wiry. and its itchy and uncomfortable as hell when it grows back because its so wiry and constantly in contact with underwear.

but your pubes, your choice, obviously!

Well i have DSs so not a problem for me to think about but my mum showed me how to shave my legs and arm hair etc etc but then i did start puberty at 8 years old.

my pubes don't cover my genitalia and therefore i have amazing sex au naturel

My DD (14) is a shaver of bits, I know this because she told me. I didn't have a coronary, her body, her choice. Still haven't told her dad she uses his razor, though.

Britfish I do shave everything off. I always have done, and to be honest, I don't think it's any of my partner's business what I do with my pubic hair. As with everything alse, he accepts me as I choose to present myself or he can fuck off.

I though feminism was supposed to be about choice! I choose what to do with my pubes, and nobody is 'sick' for not objecting to it!
Having someone tell you that you aren't allowed to shave all your pubes off because 'it makes men think you're a little girl and it isn't feminist" - that's the most UNfeminist feminism I've ever hear, arranging the hairs on my body to what other people think my partner should like!

I agree with your friend, I started my periods when I was 8 and at 9 I had full body hair, that I did not shave (well did not know how to, or even know I had to, parents were very blase about the whole of puberty at a very early age)

During PE, the "boys" noticed my hairy under pits and ridiculed me until I went to HS.

Your friend in my opinion is being vigilant, and in my case saving her from alot of upset later in life.