To think that £40K is not a 'paltry sum' to live on?

[Megatron]

This is basically a rant! My sister is driving me round the twist with her moaning and groaning about not being able to buy what she wants. Her DH earns around £40K, she does not work, they have 2 young DC's (both at primary school), no debts apart from mortgage (not huge) and she has just spent an hour on the phone to me telling me that her DH is a loser because he doesn't have enough ambition to 'go out and get a better job with a more acceptable wage'. She is now in the huff with me as I told her that perhaps SHE should get a job and contribute if she's that desperate for more cash and to stop acting like a spoilt brat. I know this is not a huge amount but jeez, it's not exactly peanuts either. I'm guessing I should ring her an apologise for calling her a brat but !

YANBU. We're currently living on less than half of that thanks to recession- dh usually works in construction. She is one very selfish and spoilt lady...

Megatron, I think if you were to delve deeper you'd probably find the real reason for her unhappiness.
Not many people would be so mean as to call their partner a loser over their salary. I may be wrong, she may just have a nasty streak but it's likely something else.

Don't feel guilty though. YANBU to think her tone was out of order.

As posted earlier, we would not be able to manage on £40k per year. Our household income is sometimes double that.

We have 1 car - an 04 Vauxhall Zafira.

We live in a very scruffy 3 bedroom terraced house in London but we have been on the property ladder for many years so luckily our mortgage is only £180,000. However, we cannot afford to extend it or improve it (new kitchen, for instance).

We both have mobiles, but not i-phones.

We have never been on a more exotic holiday than Eurocamp in France since having children.

Our children go to state school and we have no childcare costs.

We do not even have a cleaner!

I am a charity shop and ebay fan and I never buy clothes for myself because I am in denial about my clothes size.

We don't have Sky.

Is it down to what you consider to be "normal" or "essential"?
I earn a little more than 40K. We live in the SE, have 2 dc and a 4 bed semi.
DH is super-organised with our money, so for example we have saved up in advance to replace our 12 year old car. Mobile £10 a month, reasonable gas price etc. DC (and I!) dress from Sainsbury's and eat (vast quantities) of basics fruit, slow-cooked meat, home-made soup/puddings...
We can give away about a third of my (net) salary (various charity-related things).
I wouldn't say we are short of money left over, but there are things we don't buy - coffees, expensive clothes...we holiday in the UK but can rent a house for a week by the sea, otherwise tent. But I wouldn't say we miss them either - overall I would say we are better off then either DH or I were as children - maybe that's why?
We could easily spend all my salary instead. We are fortunate to have enough to be able to choose what to do with income, I know.

Its funny isnt it. Wehave Virgin.. we say we cant afford the movies package then we spend probably £20 a month getting the Ondemand ones.. thats bad budgeting.

We could get by on 40k, of course anyone could if they set their mind to it but we'e both ambitious and want a certain standard of living. Due to a lot of good fortune and even more hard work we have acheived this.

How anyone can say - we dont have enough money for the lifestyle i want.. but Im not prepared to go out and get it. Is in my mind a waste of life.

Ps 'high maintenance harridans' haha love it.

Hmmm we have Sky+ but only 2 'packs' no movies or sports channels, no Multiroom and no HD channels. Can I tell my DH we are officially on the breadline?

mumsnet is practically free

I live up North in a 2 bed ex-council house in a very ordinary area with one ds. Between us, we earn maybe 50K. We have freeview and a ford fiesta. We spend on food (can't be doing with Lidl stuff) but it's only ordinary groceries with some luxury veg from Sainsbury's and a trip to Waitrose every six weeks or so for some of the fancy pants cook's ingredients. We go home to Ireland maybe 3-4 times a year. Neither of us has any expensive hobbies or shopping fetishes.

I don't feel 'poor' by any means but we're hardly rolling in it and we can't afford a 3 bed house. I resent that sometimes. We are both professional and highly educated and may never own a 3 bed house, yet dh has to work long hours etc. I have been known to moan.

We live on about half that! 2 adults, 2 kids, 2 dogs, 3 ponies, 2 cars, 100k mortgage, sky and an iPhone! We never go on posh holidays, and I don't buy flash clothes makeup, cigarettes or alcohol. I come from one of the most expensive villages in Essex. 40k a year is not a paltry sum!

That's around 130 hours a week on minimum wage!

We are on not too much above that amount and I'm panicking as we have just remortgaged to get house extended. We will have £900 mortgage, £600 childcare costs, plus the usual bills. I think we are going to be very stretched with barely anything left over every month! Won't be going abroad for quite some time...

YANBU about your sisters crap attitude though!

Normalitybites! I was in your situation a couple of years ago, I'm not much better off now, I'm happy tho and I've got 4 beautiful dc and no debts. I too live in the southeast.

I don't have a lot of the things that other people seem to need, I've got a basic mobile and my laptop, the sunshine is free, the ops sister should be ashamed of herself, I honestly cannot imagine what it would be like to have that much money coming into the house.

Someone commented to me recently that just a couple of hundred years ago royalty wouldn't have lived as comfortably as we do now (heat, light food, medical care etc), our lives are so much easier than those of our grandmothers personally I feel very blessed to be born in this century and I'm very grateful to my dp for the long hours that he does to allow me to stay at home with the dc...

Can you sign her up to wife swap? She sounds like an excellent candidate

I don't have Sky.

But please, MNers, don't feel obligated to start a collection for me

Quattro.... nor do I but I do have a few of these.... they are lidls own brand tho! mmmmmm extra jam...... tuck in I think you're being hopeful!

Haha! I must be very poor, as don't have Sky at all. Can't see myself spending 40 odd pounds a month accessing even more crappy channels than are already offered by Freeview. Am happy with BBCs 2-4, Yesterday, Dave and FilmFour. Can't think when we'd ever need anything else.

WTF.

You want more money, then go out and get it or just quit bellyaching.

'Oh, she needs a moan.'

Oh, bullshit!

Shit or get off the pot.

(whispers)

We don't have sky either. Clearly I'm breaking some fundamental MN rule here.

The answer to the OP's sister's money woes is simple.
She needs to get herself a job.
I can only dream of earning 40k. My annual salary is £12,688. I am a nursery nurse, work 40 hrs a week at a demanding and stressful job.
Honestly, some people are never happy unless they have something to moan about.

I think the ppoint about Sky is that people moan about being broke but then have things they don't really need.

We live on less than half that salary with 2 dc's and me as a sahm. We also live in the expensive south east. We don't have all the luxuries, but I feel very content with our lives. I think your sister needs a reality check op.

BOTH of her DC are at primary school, she doesn't work and she is referring to her DH as a loser. Nice.

YANBU

She's not untypical though. She is exactly the kind of woman I actively avoid tbh.

Also, my sister is a single mum to a 1 year old. She dearly wanted to stay at home with him because she is that way inclined (unlike her older sister who was banging the door down to get back to work!) but as her boyfriend turned out to be an illiegal immigrant and buggered of when she was a few months pregant with all her money she has had to go back to work and works 40 hours a week for £14,000. Her son wants for nothing and she provides well for him.

OPs sister doesnt know shes born. She is exactly the kind of woman I avoid.