To think that £40K is not a 'paltry sum' to live on?

[Megatron]

This is basically a rant! My sister is driving me round the twist with her moaning and groaning about not being able to buy what she wants. Her DH earns around £40K, she does not work, they have 2 young DC's (both at primary school), no debts apart from mortgage (not huge) and she has just spent an hour on the phone to me telling me that her DH is a loser because he doesn't have enough ambition to 'go out and get a better job with a more acceptable wage'. She is now in the huff with me as I told her that perhaps SHE should get a job and contribute if she's that desperate for more cash and to stop acting like a spoilt brat. I know this is not a huge amount but jeez, it's not exactly peanuts either. I'm guessing I should ring her an apologise for calling her a brat but !

Oh Ive no doubt it can be done but my post was in answer to those expressing amazement that those on 40k were ever less than comfortable.

lol at Expat reading Country Living. But it's a serious point that many people in many different industries are living on very poor salaries.

I work one, sometimes two days a week. My classroom assistant works f/t and is bloody good at her job. However, I still earn more than she does. I earn 1100pm for those 2days. She earns quite a bit less for working all week. Her DH works in a local factory and doesn't earn much either. However, they feed and clothe 3 kids, have a mortgage and a car each. I'm sure she wouldn't describe herself as struggling.

Women like that give decent, honest, hard working (either in the home or in employment)women a bad name ... wingeing brat ....Dont apologize!!

Well I'm glad it's not just me! She really never used to be like this, she had a job before the children came along so I'm not sure what's going on in her head. I do think she could probably cope without the weekly manicures and facials though if things are so tight!

Has she got a bit of the "Hyacinth Buckets" going on? Moving in circles where everyone else has DHs on 6 fig salaries, that kind of thing? Envy is a terrible thing.

Or, as someone else has already said, is there more to it - is she unhappy with her DH over other things and just using this as an excuse?

Def the former thumbwitch! She lives in a very small country village and likes to think she's a bit of a lady. God I'm a bitch .

BIL is a lovely man and they always seem pretty content together but I guess you never really know what's going on in someone else's relationship. I do hope all OK between them though and she's just having one of her many off days!

I have a lovely vision of your sis now, Megatron - with a poor "Richard" of a DH, doing his "lowly" best
Although it's not a laughing matter if she's being a cow to him - but if she's just sounding off to you and everything else is fine then I suppose it's not so bad...

Depends where you live but you are YANBU in that she's moaning about dh- ffs - if she wants more she should go get a job.

Why everybody says 'depends where you live'?

OP said they have very small mortgage and no childcare cost. Food and clothes, and most bills cost the same in any area, no?
It is the house prices and childcare that makes se expensive to live.

Anyway, she sounds like a cow.

My DH earns more, but we still feel and are broke....probably due to the fact that he insisted we purchased a car on HP and now have to pay £450 a month!

I couldn't abide a man without ambition, but I find ambition attractive.

Really depends on personal circumstances. We supported me and two children on £39.5k with a £850 a month mortgage for a long time and lived very comfortably but we only have one car, holiday in my parents' holiday home and live in the north. In terms of lifestyle £40k is one of those borderline amounts. When supporting 4 people you should not be poor on £40 (unless in London) but may well struggle in certain circumstances depending on your outgoings. It certainly sounds as if your sister is being a brat and I heartily agree with your suggestion SHE gets some 'ambition' and goes out to work if their income is not adequate.

I live in the SE and 40K wouldnt go far for a family of 4 in the area I am in with 2 kids in primary school there are often lots of clothinng needed as they grow like weeds at that age

I do agree if she wants more she should consider finding a way to get more on her own perhaps her dh likes his job. so YNBU imo to call her a brat.. but perhaps.. just perhaps she has had a bad day and they have had an argument over something big he wanted to buy and she didnt want him to spend money on and she wanted to have a moan and needed to be allowed to be a spoilt brat for a little while?

This is the attitude of a lot of women, sadly. I see it in a lot of the school-run mums. High-maintenance harridans. They expect their husbands to keep them and if they don't earn over a certain amount they are a "loser". Thankfully DW is not like this and never has been.

UD....What a horrid thing to say.

UD - perhaps modifying that to "this is the attitude of a lot of women I know" would have been less abrasive?

It's pretty horrible to call your husband a loser to other people, though, because of his earnings.

I don't know if he is a looser,
£40,000 doesn't make any difference to that but this breaks down annual salary into weekly and monthly income after tax, depending on how much their mortgage is you can see how £2460 can dissapear
poss. over £1500 going on mortgage alone, ave council tax would be £108 per month before any other bills that would leave them £852 a month to pay gas electric, phone, internet, petrol & food.

Not an insignificant amount but not loaded either.

UD....I'd also like to know how you know...

We really struggle and my DH earns more than that.

Me and DP only earn about 25k between us. Tom is 4 and Erin is 20 weeks tomorrow. If only DP was earning more. Would mean we could finally buy a house.

At the end of the day, we're lucky to have jobs. DP may well not have one in 3 months anyway

EVERY month we pay
£240 gas and electric.
£100 mobile
£100 broadband, tv, phone
£500 mortgage
£100 council tax
£78 water
£450 car
£130 insurance..house, car and buildings
AT LEAST

£1600 before food, petrol, clothing etc etc.

'High maintenance harridans' - what a fabulous term!

I know exactly the type you mean. Seething with ambition for their husbands and children, but quite content for their own life to be utterly vacuous, revolving around lunch dates and the gym.

Ugh.

I think a lot depends on where you live.

Here £40k a year would be positively rich! DH earns nowhere near that but we are reasonably comfortable, we can afford the mortgage and bills, plus holidays, riding lessons, piano lessons etc.

But she is definitely BU to have that attitude wherever she lives, calling him a "loser" is definitely not on.

posie
your mobile and broadband/tv seems a bit high. Maybe you are not getting a good deal?

So i have the largest Virgin package, I keep meaning to whittle it all down....

Mobile is two phones and DH phones abroad for work occasionally.