To think that £40K is not a 'paltry sum' to live on?

[Megatron]

This is basically a rant! My sister is driving me round the twist with her moaning and groaning about not being able to buy what she wants. Her DH earns around £40K, she does not work, they have 2 young DC's (both at primary school), no debts apart from mortgage (not huge) and she has just spent an hour on the phone to me telling me that her DH is a loser because he doesn't have enough ambition to 'go out and get a better job with a more acceptable wage'. She is now in the huff with me as I told her that perhaps SHE should get a job and contribute if she's that desperate for more cash and to stop acting like a spoilt brat. I know this is not a huge amount but jeez, it's not exactly peanuts either. I'm guessing I should ring her an apologise for calling her a brat but !

We all moan about our husbands, don't we? Who else can she moan to? Perhaps someone who will not judge her, will be on her side, will love her unconditionally - her sister maybe?

Perhaps she is happy most of the time, but we all have our financial difficulties at this time and a right to moan about them. Best to moan to you than have a go at her husband, cos it wouldn't make him fee too good.

As incomes increase so does stuff to spend it on, and i'm not talking handbags. There are always insurance, pensions, investments for the children's future, etc so it may not leave her with much for herself. I know that I have had to forego new trainers to replace the ones I wear every day as DC needs new shoes yet I;m sure many people would wonder why.

Also, she is at home looking after two children. That's tough and an important job.

Let her let off some steam and be supportive. Am sure that's all she was after.

Really depends on where she lives. Round here, most people are on near double £40K. DH is between the two figures and whilst we're not really struggling and I'm not working at the mo, we can't see that we'll ever be able to trade-up house or car-wise. I don't think you can describe it as "paltry" and it's not a nice way to talk about your DH either.

I think that anyone unemployed complaining about income levels should go out to work and earn money for themselves, unless they are (a) ill or (b) caring for someone who is ill

So I don't disagree with the proposition. However some people might find it enormously difficult to live on £40k. We couldn't, simply because all our lifestyle is organised and settled in a particular way, and financial commitments entered into accordingly.

ROFL at this post though

On 40k, I bet the household has...
Sky Sports and movies in HD in sky plus
At least 2 computers
At least 2 mobiles and I bet they are Iphones
2 newish cars
A fantastically well stocked fridge and freezer
TV in every room (with an extra sky box!!!)

What on earth is this sky box threshhold of earnings test?

''I think the more you have, the more you spend and then the more you need''

^totally agree^

YANBU...

lequeen and others just looked on moneysavingexpert - gas and leccy top right - he says "Latest News: Cheap tariffs are ending, prices are rising. Industry experts are warming towards locking in cheap prices. The cheapest deals save an average £250 over standard charges and by using special links up to £30 cashback?s available on top " and now is "golden time to switch"

so have a look now is my advice!!!

bollox

changed it and linked to the gas and leccy page, it's just there, not top right.

right will stop hijacking and boring everyone senseless, sorry guys

as you were

Beccas - we have more than that but we can't stretch to Sky TV we just got freeview but had no telly at all for nearly a year), we have one telly, one second hand car and one ancient tiny car we inherited when MIL died. We do have two computers (we both work from home), we do have a well stocked freezer but most of what's in it we grew ourselves. I don't have a mobile at all although DH has an old one. Our holidays have all been in the UK (couldn't afford one last year) and our 3rd child has no clothes that are new - all hand-me downs.

We spend a large percentage just on oil and wood for the stove - especially this winter. I'm not complaining at all - we are very happy and feel lucky. But we don't set much store by buying gadgets etc. Just so you know the measure of financial 'success' isn't necessarily SKy TV and and i-phone.

Yet so many out there think that if you are struggling, it must be because you fritter away money on gadgets, luxuries and frivoloties.

This thread shows how untreat this is.

sallyjaygorce - I am with you completely! Just not very literate today!
I can't bear all my friends moaning they haven't got any money when they are tapping away at all their 'essential' gadgets.
We don't have those gadgets either.
Just how much is sky plus HD package etc a month these days?
And every single tall rise block of flats which has 'council' tenants around here has a satellite dish.
Infuriating

You mean Daily Mail readers who think everyone in a council house is smoking 60 fags a day in front of Sky? I think most people don't assume people genuinely struggling are spending their money on frivolous luxury items. That reminds me, I haven't polished my tiara for weeks.

Our household enjoys a bit more than £40k.
But we absolutely cannot afford expensive Sky packages, more than one (cheap) car, expensive phones or phone contracts (we are both in £10 per month deals and don't need more than 200 mins talk and unlimited text - who does, unless for work?).
And we don't feel the lack of them, either! Or that we are on paltry money. We're comfortable and lucky.

ST....they were good times, but alas I have nothing to show for it except nice holiday snaps and large restaurant bills! Horrific, now broke, to think how much money we have wasted, quite obscene. And we weren't happy, happier when spending but not happy.

Just realised that our mortgage alone is nearly 40k a year so we'd have no chance. But then you cut your cloth and all that. If we had a household income of 40k we'd adjust our outgoings appropriately.

If she wants more, she needs to go to work...Though maybe they'd had a fight and she just wanted a moan. Or maybe he could be earning more, has been encouraged towards promotion but he's just not interested. Fair enough, his choice but if that is the case maybe it's his lack of ambition she's annoyed at rather than the actual amount.

Hmm This thread is making me feel a bit crap, like I should be living the life of Reilly.

DH and I have a joint income of about £45k, and we are currently trying hard to decide if we can afford a second DC. TBH I don't think we can at the moment. We are paying just over £1k mortgage, £200 travel and £500 child care, so very different circumstances to OP. But definitely agree with those who have said that you can't tell how comfortably someone lives just from their salary.

BUt I do agree that someone who earns £40k is not a loser who should be looking for a better job- what nonsense!

I feel sorry for her.
She sounds like one of those people who always look at the negatives in life.

DH earns about 37k I earn about 6k. We have 2 children neither of them at school yet.
We only have 1 car atm but once I have passed my test we will and can comfortably afford a second car.
Im not going to list all the things we own and the things we do. All I can say is we dont miss out on things because of a lack of money thats for sure!

We live in the South East and as our household income is way above this figure we are very comfortable. However if I look at the annual salary of my staff who also all live in the SE/Outer London none of them earn this much yet they earn industry or above industry rates. They have ambition and work hard and I am sure that there partners don't sit around at home all day and moan.

As a mum who has always worked ft on a decent salary and so contributed to the household income I have never understood the SAHM who moan about their DH and money whilst booking manicures and organising coffee dates. Sorry if this offends.

I'm sure he does have ambition. But maybe she just wanted to moan-as we all do from time to time-and that's what she did, to her sister whom she thought wouldn't judge her.

YANBU but at these sums. I live in a fairly decent area of a middling-to-expensive UK city, I have a mortgage, a child with childcare costs, run a car, eat very well and am not in debt, on a household income of just under 14k/year. I would be rolling in it on 40k.

Brogan and Hohumchops, you're right I AM judging her and I shouldn't be. She's my sister and I love her to bits, this is all just wearing a bit thin with me these days though. DH is quite close to BIL and he is the first to admit that he's not desperately ambitious and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. He works really hard at a job he loves and is very good at and provides for them very nicely, it just doesn't seem to be enough for my sister any more. He doesn't want to spend all his life at work and never see his own kids. I just think that if she is unwilling to help financially she should at least be willing to support him emotionally. Though I guess I should be supporting her when she's having a bitch rather than being a moany old judgy pants myself but I just really disagree with her on this issue.

I don't think YABU. We are on about 40k and I feel pretty well off (tho I'm sure many would be horrified by our state-educated, 1 small car, camping hol lifestyle).

I don't think you "should" be supporting her if she wants to have a moan. I think injecting a dose of reality into your coversations is probably more supportive actually, or else she will get worse and worse if she thinks it's a reasonable way to think.

Normalitybites, all I can say is wow! Seriously! You must have a very low mortgage and very reasonable childcare rates.
I take my hat off to you!