to ask ex to put DD into his will

[sevenkeystomysoul]

Ex (DDs father) owns a house outright (inherited after his wife, the mother of his DS, passed away). His DS is in his will to inherit house. But now he has DD also, AIBU to want her to have an equal share of the house should anything happen to ex or myself?

If she is under 18 then he is legally obliged to put her in the will - after the age of 18 he doesn't have to include her - [voice of experience]

yes, yabu. its the childs mothers house. the fact that his father inherited it first doesnt give your dd a moral right to it. perhaps legal, but not moral.

I think that yabu to expect him to leave an equal share of the house to your dd considering it was also his ds' house that belonged to his mother also.

She is not yet three Lifeinagoldfishbowl. Headlessandclueless, I am struggling with this. On one hand, I agree with you, but on the other, DD is as much ex's child as his DS is, so shouldn't he treat them equally in this respect (i.e. securing their future?)

The house was left by the childs mum for the child to inherit I assume ?

Are you always so graspy ? The poor child has lost his mum and all you can think of is your dd getting her hands on some cash !!

So yabu, and vile, vile, vile

Your dd will inherit any property you own, you'll have to be happy with that.

YABU!!!!
Would you leave half of your house to his son?

If she is under 18 then he is legally obliged to put her in the will - only if he is currntly financially supporting her.

But over 18 - no I'm afraid you can't tell anyone who to leave their money to. You might try asking nicely if he would consider it but he might feel morally that the house of his DS's mother should be left to her son and I would understand that personally.

If she is under 18 then he is legally obliged to put her in the will - only if he is currntly financially supporting her.

But over 18 - no I'm afraid you can't tell anyone who to leave their money to. You might try asking nicely if he would consider it but he might feel morally that the house of his DS's mother should be left to her son and I would understand that personally.

but he wouldn't be legally obliged to give her half of the house - he might be legally obliged to make financial arrangements for her, but in fact legally the house cannot be left to either of them - it says

here
that children under eighteen cannot inherit their parents' estate but that it must be placed in trust until they are eighteen - the will should make provision for the distribution..

yes Wannabe is right and she certainly wouldn't legally be entitled to more than she currently gets from him (at most) ie an income. she wouldn't be entitled to inherit any of his assets. Though they could be placed in a trust to provide an income for both children when she turns 18 the asset of the house (and anything else he chose to leave) would revert to his DS.

SwissCheese, I think you're overstepping the mark there. Ex's DS, DD's big brother, was not left the house specifically, as, very sadly, his mother passed away suddenly very shortly after he was born. The house went to ex though an endowment. This all happened a long time ago and many years before I met ex. My DD is very young, and I am not thinking about her 'getting her hands on some cash', simply thinking that both children should be treated equally with regards to their futures. NewBird, no, I wouldn't leave half my house to ex's DS, firstly because I don't own one anymore, and secondly because ex's DS is not my child, whereas DD is ex's daughter.

so if anything happened to you, you would be happy for any of your assets to be shared equally between your ex's childrne including any he might have with any future partner?

Doesn't sound right to me.

The house was paid off in full because the poor childs mother died before your child was even born.

You are most definately being unreasonable, and still graspy.

Buy your own house for your own child to inherit.

I find this almost unbelieveable tbh

Agree completely with kewcumbers last post!!! Point well questioned as I definately wouldn't!

It's all academic unless your ex is dead.

And it really isn't any of your business what your ex puts in his will so long as your DD is provided for. And he could do that with an insurance policy.

Make sure he's got adequate provision for her (life assurance etc) and then stop thinking about it.

Eww. YABU.

That's one way of looking at it Kewcumber, and it's a valid point. But, the endowment was tranferred to ex before his DS was conceived, so to all intents and purposes, it was designed for ex to inherit should something happen to his partner. Therefore, the house was for him (way before his DS even came into the picture). It wasn't quite a case of a dying woman bequeathing her assets to her child. If that had been the case, I wouldn't even be asking the question.

I think that when sevenkey said inherited, it made it sound like it was from his Ex wifes side of the family, but I think from what she has said it was a house they owned together that he 'got' because the insurance paid out when his wife died. This was before seven was on the scene. So, he then goes on to have a relationship with 7 coming into it with the asset of a house. He then had DD, after a time they split up, he now has a DS and a DD - I can't see any reason why the children shouldn't both have a share of the house, although, I would argue that his DS should have a larger share as he only has his Dad to 'look out' for him whereas his DD also has her mother to look out for her.

I don't think 7 is being grasping, just looking out for her DD - which to be honest her Ex should be doing without any prompting from her.

x-posts

I don't think it's any of the OP's business what her ex does or doesn't do in his will. If he's a decent bloke he'll do the right thing, as he sees it. That may not be what the OP would like, but that's irrelevant.

go swiss

7 - did your Ex contribute to the deposit/mortgage of this house before the endowment paid it off, or was it soley an asset owned by his wife?

SwissCheese, if I was able to buy a house for my child to inherit I would. If I had left out the bit about how ex came to own his house outright, and asked whether both his children should be provided for equally in his will, I'm sure the response would have been different. As a mother, I want my DD to be treated the same as her father's other child, is that so wrong and 'graspy', as you put it? Particularly given that the house was not left to ex's DS but to ex?

JustAnotherManicMummy, I think it is my business what ex puts in his will as regards to our daughter, and I'm afraid that insurance policies and life assurance etc are not top of his list of priorities.