Family outings to crowded supermarkets.

[darkandstormy]

AIBU To think that one parent should stay at home with the babies/children whilst the other parent does the weekly shop.I understand this cannot be helped in single parent families, but there were lots of whole family units in supermarket this afternoon.My two dc stayed at home with dh,I don't understand why others don't do this.One family I know who I saw there today dd3 was screaming the place down,she obviously had better things to be doing than shopping.Unfair on kids, fellow shoppers etc.

pointydog but why do you go to such a déclassé shop?

"Next?"

Why do you do that?

erm, because sometimes I see stuff I like in it.

I sorta k ow the answer to my own question. Shopping (not supermarkets natch) is probably the biggest hobby for many people and so when a kid comes along, many people still want ot take them shopping.

I have to go to the horrible place because it is the only place I can order sleep-suits for my son and it is very inaccessible.

We will have to differ on our opinions of the shiteness of the clothes however.

You have a point about shopping as a hobby too. I would rather die than go to Lakeside but less than an hour in Sainsbury's really is a treat for me and I think it's beneficial for my children too.

Can we now slag off the childless couple behind us today at the self-service checkout who tutted and rolled their eyes at the amount of toddler milk we were buying for our SN son even though DH, DD, even DS and I were a perfectly efficient machine in terms of packing.

I really hate the judging, DS is still BF but he wakes every three hours at night for milk so we have to buy these expensive bottles. I could cut down on them if I fed him back to sleep myself but I flipping well did that for the first two years. Volunteers to stand in would be welcome if they would only ask rather than rolling their eyes!

yanbu,i do often wonder what circumstances drive people to drag there whole family around,i now know.

YABU. Pre-DD I used to think like you. Now we have a 16 month old, we use Ocado to save weekly shopping stress but sometimes a supermarket shop/trip to butchers/deli is required and the weekend is the only time we can do it.

DD also needs to get out of the house by about 10am or she goes stir crazy so sometimes we all go shopping together. It's a trip out for DD, we get the shopping done quicker than if one of us went alone, and we can all go for coffee afterwards.

DD does not scream in the shops though, she enjoys holding the shopping list and helping to choose items. If she did scream, we wouldn't take her.

YABU

Round our way you get whole families out with grizzling toddlers in tow, doing the week's shopping at 11pm on a Friday night (all night superstore). Bizarrely the mothers often look like they're having quite a good time.

I find it highly entertaining.

A lot of families in the supermarket today. Doesn't bother me particularly. Only thing that did bother me was the amount of people I stepped out of the way for to let pass & didn't get so much as a thank you. It really annoys me when that happens. It happened on no fewer than four times and I was only in there for ten minutes today.

There was one family of five and both parents didn't acknowledge me or say thank you but their little boy of about 7 and was the last to come through was polite enough to smile and say thank you.

Coming to think of it the only other person who was polite enough to step out of my way (and I thanked her) was a girl of about 14. No idea how children/teenagers get such a bad name for manners. It was the adults who I thought were awful today.

Lack of manners really annoys me.

I was in the supermarket today and in front of me in the queue was what looked like a 10-11 year old boy, He had bread, juice, squash(hi juice one), fruit and veg etc.

He paid for it with cash, put most of the heavy stuff in his rucksack and the rest in a carrier bag. He seemed so grown up and competent as he walked off. He also answered a mobile phone with the words "I've nearly finished I'll be home soon". I remember thinking it was probably his slightly anxious mum calling him to check up on him

I noticed I'm because it is such a rare sight to see a child this age doing the shopping in a supermarket on their own. I am assuming he was taken shopping when he was younger in order to be so competent now.

Don't get me wrong - I hate shopping with ds. He has always disliked the whole process and has only recently (5.6 yrs old) stopped playing up and running away in the supermarket. We do a lot of online shopping but ds also often has to go shopping with one or either of dh and me and yes shock horror sometimes with both of us.

TBH whenever I find myself thinking along the lines of the OP (which I do sometimes) it is usually because I am slightly envious of families who seem to able to do stuff like this together without wanting to kill each other .

It is never to do with the children being too noisy or getting in the way - as I usually find that much more amusing (in a sort of I've been there way) than annoying.

Hmm yabu about taking children, my dd(2) likes food shopping (but only food shopping) she finds it interesting and I think there's a lot of people watching and food chat that can be done.

But yanbu when it comes to dragging entire families out. The people I know who have to go out en masse with dh in tow week in week out tend to be the sappy types who hate driving and going anywhere on their own, so must have dh to hold their hand whilst they undertake such an arduous task.

Btw I am not talking about people who can't drive, but as soon as I passed dh was definitely surplus to requirements when it came to shopping.

shopping is an outing.

i remember Asda being a special treat as a kid (though Dad would take one trolley with 4 kids in it, whlst Mum did the actual shopping)

i particularly like it when there are new seasonal ranges in to look at.

shopping is one on the list of possible entertainments: park, walk...shop. the kids like it. so i think YABU OP, you just aren't seeing that actually, the weekly shop is fun, and to exclude one parent from it would be unfair.

Well, obviously I don't expect those without a car to drive a magic carpet and I understand if people physically need help to shop, I guess I mean those friends I have who are perfectly capable of getting on with it themselves.

Actually the dhs should do it themselves too, no reason why only women should shop. Just don't understand it as a weekend family trip generally...

Otoh I wouldn't send my dh, he'd bankrupt us as he'd buy the poshest, most expensive option every time no concept of budgeting.

My DH does go shopping by himself but he is a real day to day shopper, and he only ever buys what he remembers that he needs. So if we are out of washing powder, for e.g., and I ask him to get it, more than half the time he will come home without it because it won't have registered as important.

Chocolate otoh, always turns up.

Beer also appears to have been a major food group I must have missed in my food tech lessons at school...

YABU, just take care of your own life. The only person getting annoyed is you. Or go in the evening.

An outing? FUN?! Are you mad, people??!!

I understand where the OP is coming from, and when I read the thread title I shuddered and thought "Hell on earth!".

I understand lots of people HAVE to do the shopping together on a weekend. It's the people who consider it a fun outing, all together on a busy weekend that baffle me! I just don't understand it! Why waste valuable weekend time together dawdling round a horrible supermarket when you can go to the park or the beach or to so many different places?

I HAVE to do the shopping with dd (2), but we are lucky we can go on a quiet afternoon. I totally understand those who are saying it teaches dc a lot about everyday life, and dd generally enjoys it and is not a tantrumer (yet!) thank God, but I can't say I enjoy it at all, I'd rather be doing other things.

I am really surprised by all the vitriol here, the OP just has a different opinion on shopping than you, doesn't mean she deserves all the insults.

me and dd (13 months) do the shopping during the day because ds gets sensory overload in supermarket and dp doesnt get home till 6...

i dont drive so the option is i go on my own when the kids are asleep (so 9pm) when i want to be asleep (26 weeks pg) or dp does it and we end up with the most expensive of everything...... or many many pot noodles and pizza!

yabu.... none of your business, why dont you do yours at night when kids ar asleep if it bothers you that much?

YANBU - It annoys me too. Plus there's also internet shopping and free delivery!

YABU, but I used to think like you pre-dc but now I think differently, for several reasons:

1. To give the other partner a break. I took DD to the supermarket just now so that DH could have an hour to himself

1. DD (nearly 3) likes it. She especially likes to push her own little trolley around (and we will only do that if there are 2 of us, one to supervise her) she is learning to function in the real world.

1. I don't like having shopping delivered as I like to go the supermarket for the bargains, most of our meat comes from the reduced section straight into the freezer. We'd spend more money with deliveries.

1. Because going to the supermarket on your own is boring, and especially now I am pg I struggle more.

1. Because when your lives mean that you are like ships that pass in the night that hour or so spent shopping together is important, and the shopping needs doing.

And through years of going to the supermarket together my DH is familiar enough with my school of thinking and sensible enough with money that sending him on his own or with DH is no problem.

YABU!

I think being unable to understand why other people do things differently to oneself (they may actually enjoy shopping at the supermarket en famille, or even feel neutral about it, or perhaps never once sat down and thought about it in any depth, who knows) displays a lack of empathy at best and pathological tendencies at worst! .