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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tell me WWYD before I decide if AIBU

88 replies

soulsu · 02/05/2010 11:11

Ok, this is something I would like to know how others would deal with before I decide my further course of action. In Asda yesterday doing my weekly shop with 2yo in trolley, I accidentally bump one of those cage trolley things that hold their stock, the member of staff using it tutted, sighed and gave me an aggressive look, it didn't bump her as she was a few steps away. I thought ok, move on, but as I move on I see something that I would like so I stop at the shelf to pick it up, but it slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor, the the staff member says 'for fuck's sake' ands makes a kind of growling low noise and stares at me straight in the eye. I felt very intimidated. So would you confront her ask what the problem is or would you walk away? I'll tell you what I did in a bit. I know this may seem like nothing but I can't get this out of mind.

OP posts:

EccentricaGallumbits · 02/05/2010 11:14

i wouldn't confront because i'm a wuss but i would find a manager type and tell them.

StealthPolarBear · 02/05/2010 11:14

erm, I'd have probably walked away as I'm not usually up for confrontation. Thikn the right thing to do would be to ask her though. what did you drop, out of curiosity

4kidsandlovingit · 02/05/2010 11:14

I think I would have to say something to her. How dare she behave like that towards a customer. Accidents happen and she is there to present the image of ASDA. I`m sure her managers would love to know about her behaviour and language. I hope you did say something to her.

violethill · 02/05/2010 11:14

I would have made a complaint there and then in the store, to customer services.

Spatchadoodledo · 02/05/2010 11:15

I would have gone to customer service

GeekOfTheWeek · 02/05/2010 11:15

I would have glared at her and asked what her problem was.

I would then speak to the manager before leaving the store. Inappropriate behaviour imo.

emsyj · 02/05/2010 11:15

I would have taken her name (think they wear badges in Asda don't they?) and then gone immediately to the manager and told them. I would have been apoplectic. I have worked in a shop myself and there is no excuse for this sort of attitude to customers.

MrsRhettButler · 02/05/2010 11:16

i would have asked her who she thinks shes talking to! i would definitely of confronted her! staff are supposed to be polite to customers its not like you were rude to her is it

LynetteScavo · 02/05/2010 11:16

I would have gone to customer services and asked to speak to the manager.

MummyDoIt · 02/05/2010 11:16

I'd have spoken to a manager. Apart from anything else, that kind of language in front of a small child is not acceptable.

BrokenBananaTantrum · 02/05/2010 11:17

I would have been really pissed off tbh especially as my 2yo would have heard the swearing. I would have asked her if she was talking to me and I would ask her what she thought the problem was and take it from there. If she was abusive i would have immediatley gone to see a manager / supervisor and complained.

what did you do???????

gingernutlover · 02/05/2010 11:17

i would have complained, to the staff memeber and also to their manager. She swore at a customer, with a young child present - unnaceptable.

gingernutlover · 02/05/2010 11:23

so what did you do?

sweetnitanitro · 02/05/2010 11:23

I would have told her to her face not to use that kind of language in front of a small child and then taken her name and spoken to her manager. It's not acceptable to say that to a customer, especially one with a small child.

Vallhala · 02/05/2010 11:24

I'd have confronted her with a loud "I beg your pardon?" and asked her if it was Asda's policy to swear at customers.

Forty-five years of life,life-threatening illness and an abusive (ex) husband has taught me not to feel intimidated by or take crap from anyone!

thehillsarealive · 02/05/2010 11:24

you need to start shopping in Waitrose, that would NEVER have happened there.

I would have got her name, told her that her language uncalled for and then gone and got a manager.

PorphyrophillicPixie · 02/05/2010 11:26

I would have commented on the language and then given her name and details of what she looks like to a manager (in case she gave you a 'fake' name)!

angel886 · 02/05/2010 11:27

I would have asked her to repeat herself and then gone to find a manager and reported her.

Evenstar · 02/05/2010 11:30

Two male members of staff in our local ASDA were loudly discussing their drunken night out and the young "ladies" they had encountered during the course of the evening. They were standing in the middle of the fruit and veg aisle talking very loudly. My son who was then 8 was with me, and their language was colourful to say the least, I approached them and asked them to bear in mind that there were children present and moderate their language. In your situation I think I would have definitely approached the manager,as the staff member was aggressive in her manner. The young men I spoke to actually apologised to me, I felt very strongly that customers should not have to listen to that kind of thing, several elderly ladies were also in the area and looked very upset.

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 11:30

Thanks for your quick replies. I did confront her, I glared right back and asked what her problem was and she said you and told me to fuck off. I shoved the item at her and walked away, it didn't make much contact or hurt her. But she then started shouting assault, assault and told me if she wasn't in uniform I'd be fucking dead. I was quaking with fear as I walked away, but she marched past me off to customer service and called the police. Yes the police. The Asda manager's would not let me leave the store, while she shouted at customer service to all and sundry she had been attacked and it was her, pointing at me. I was treated like a criminal. My dd was terrified. One of the manager's told me I attacked her staff. I am. The police eventually arrived and I was told had it been more serious I would have been leaving the store in handcuffs and a social worker would have been called to look after my daughter, while I was interviewed. I think they were just trying to scare me. I can't believe this happened over such a small incident. I confronted her because she was so aggressive and I ended up coming off the worst. I am going to complain to Asda and also go back to the police to discuss this further.

OP posts:

CagedBird · 02/05/2010 11:31

I would have asked her who she was speaking to like that and if she feels it's ok to use that language in front of children. Then like others I would have taken her name a description and gone straight to customer services and complained to the manager.

That's way out of order

junglist1 · 02/05/2010 11:32

I would have asked her who the fuck she thought she was glaring at and called her names. What did you do?

Evenstar · 02/05/2010 11:32

That is disgraceful and I would be seeking a full apology from ASDA's head office.

CagedBird · 02/05/2010 11:33

wtf???? You should write a detailed letter of complaint to asda, I would even consider taking this to the newspapers, it would be very embarrasing to them. I can't believe that.

tbf though, you played right into her hands shoving the item at her, you should have just put it down.

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 11:33

SPB, I dropped a bottle of soap, it was discounted and all slippy.

OP posts:

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