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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tell me WWYD before I decide if AIBU

88 replies

soulsu · 02/05/2010 11:11

Ok, this is something I would like to know how others would deal with before I decide my further course of action. In Asda yesterday doing my weekly shop with 2yo in trolley, I accidentally bump one of those cage trolley things that hold their stock, the member of staff using it tutted, sighed and gave me an aggressive look, it didn't bump her as she was a few steps away. I thought ok, move on, but as I move on I see something that I would like so I stop at the shelf to pick it up, but it slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor, the the staff member says 'for fuck's sake' ands makes a kind of growling low noise and stares at me straight in the eye. I felt very intimidated. So would you confront her ask what the problem is or would you walk away? I'll tell you what I did in a bit. I know this may seem like nothing but I can't get this out of mind.

OP posts:

violethill · 02/05/2010 12:15

The OP said the item didn't make 'much contact' or hurt the woman, so clearly it did touch her. And the shop assistant sounds so awful that she'll no doubt big this up and claim it did hurt her. That's why it's a really bad move to retaliate in any way that could be construed as assault - it muddies the water.

I still think the OP has been treated appalling though and should complain.

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 12:18

Yeah I shouldn't have shoved it at her and I acknowledged this to the police and asked them to pass an apology on. But today,as I think I didn't mention her bad behaviour then I really need to get this across. I just called the police call centre, they confirmed there was no CCTV footage and that the woman didn't want to take it any further as soon as the police arrived. The call centre also said the officer was out of order threatening me with handcuffs and social work. I'm going to write to the police to clarify a few things and I will be contacting Asda head office, don't want to go through the local store incase my address is divulged. Anyway Valhalla and Kitkat I am most definitely boycotting Asda, as are my mother, sister, friends and other relatives. I've been a loyal customer despite the crap service for years because it is local. I ended up in Sainsburys yesterday afternoon and what a far more pleasant experience it was especially when DD lost her cuddly.

OP posts:

angel886 · 02/05/2010 12:24

What are the Police doing about it? Have they dropped the matter or are they still looking into it?

Telling you to fuck off and say that you'd be dead if she wasn't in uniform is at least a contravention of section 5 of the public order act, may be even a section 4.

The only problem is that you say you thrust the item at her which has played right into her hands. Depending on how you have done that can depend on whether it will be classed as assault.

If the details of the witnesses were taken then surely they would be able to back you up?

You could go to the police to pursue a complaint of your own (as above) but chances are nothing will come of it due to her allegation of assault.

What did the CCTV show? Did it show people around you looking shocked at her behaviour?

BouncingTurtle · 02/05/2010 12:28

Asda's HO address : Asda ASDA House, Southbank, Great Wilson Street Leeds LS11 5AD.

Asda's HO telephone number. 0113 243 5435.

I would call & write to them. I would also contact your local Police Station and file a complaint about how you were treated by the Police, especially if you felt you were unable to get your side of the story across.

FWIW I would not have confronted her, but made a note of her name and gone straight to customer services. Woman sounds like a psycho bitch.

I would also look at taking legal advice as well, not for compensation but you want to make sure that Asda take you seriously!

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 12:33

Angel nothing is happening she decided to not pursue the complaint further as soon as the police arrived. I don't know if the people around where shocked at her or at me responding. Certainly, the police record says no witnesses, so probably folk were unwilling to say anything in either person's favour. I really need to point out this woman was so aggressive from the off and I so foolishly acted on it, deeming her behaviour unjust. Anyway, that's how it is at the mo. The Public Order stuff you quote is that relevant to Scotland? Thanks for your comments and everyone else's.

OP posts:

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 12:35

Thanks Bouncing Turtle very much appreciated .

OP posts:

mumbar · 02/05/2010 12:35

OMG. Have read what you did before I got to reply but I would have given her the trolly with DD and told her to give it a go!!!

Y prob BU shoving item at her but can understand totally why you did it. I think that making threats to kill is also a police matter and thats maybe why they dropped it as it would have been a counter claim.

Complain to ASDA. She should be dismissed and as you don't want to shop there anymore what can they do ban you?

I hope you are ok noone should be treated like that for an innocent accident and I am going to shop in a rival store today to support you! I do think you could point that out to Asda that they will prob lose lots of customer in support of you because they decide to employ a foul mouthed member of staff.

Original poster

soulsu · 02/05/2010 12:39

Oh super mumbar thanks. Everyone's support is so much appreciated. I really need to get a sense of perspective on this and you've all helped!

OP posts:

Janos · 02/05/2010 14:05

I'd like to think I would have confonted her politely (something along the lines of 'Excuse me?').

However may not have has presence of mind to do that if I was shocked or caught unawares.

If so I would do nothing and report to a manager then redue to leave until I had an apology (at least).

Janos · 02/05/2010 14:08

Just read what actually happened.

Maybe shoving the item back at her wasn't the best approach but Asda's response is beyond awful.

I would definitely make a complaint. The store manager sounds an absolute numpty.

RunawayWife · 02/05/2010 14:18

I would have gone to the customer services demanded to speak to a manager and had the staff member reprimanded on the spot.

suitejudyblue · 02/05/2010 14:45

That's disgraceful, I hope you are able to phone their head office first thing on Tuesday and ask to speak to the head of customer services. If it was me I would be telling them in no uncertain terms that I wanted them to speak to the store manager, the assistant concerned and the police and let me know what they have found within 48 hours. I know no supermarket can avoid a rouge employee having a bad day but the way in which they've handled your complaint is shocking.
Good luck and please report back to us.

CagedBird · 02/05/2010 15:08

You should get a petition going I'd sign it!

Tbf I was a mystery shopper there for a good while and they did pretty well on customer service I wish I was doing it on that day in that store!

ifihadahifi · 02/05/2010 15:11

I definitely think you should make a complaint (about the incident itself and the handling of it). This rude Asda worker should not be allowed to get away with such disrepectful behaviour and she should lose her job and be made to apologise.

Totally understandable that you shoved the soap back at her when she repeatedly swore at you for just minding your own business!

Also think the police reaction was disgraceful.

diddl · 02/05/2010 15:45

You should definitely complain.

The shoving the item back was an odd thing to do but I suspect she overreacted because of her previous treatment of you.
But weren´t you just giving her the soap so she could put it back & she misinterpreted?

She told you that you were her problem & to fück off-you must complain about that.

WhereYouLeftIt · 02/05/2010 16:21

Wow! Asda and the cops have really screwed up here, haven't they. Given how they handled it, I'd be complaining to their Head Office and to the police, in writing. And probably contact the local paper to increase the pressure on Asda/the police to do the right thing.

I would be looking for the officer who threatened you with handcuffs/Social Services to be disciplined.

I would be looking for the 'assistant' to be charged with wasting police time, plus disciplined/sacked by Asda.

And the store manager 'retrained' for good measure.

diddl · 02/05/2010 17:00

Yes the whole Asda/police reaction is bizarre to say the least!

They´ve never heard "The customer is King"!

mumbar · 02/05/2010 17:40

Well soaulsu as promised I shopped today elsewhere! My DS was helping me shop and dropped a box of eggs whoops!. Having read your thread earlier I panicked but do you know a member of staff was there and I apologised offered to pay but they just said it's was an acccident don't worry picked up a new box of eggs checked they were ok and put them in my trolly!!!

Hope you are feeling better now and let us know what happens when to speak to head office as I'm sure we'd all like to know.

kitcat1977 · 02/05/2010 17:45

Asda will be delighted to know that this thread is listed under Most Active. That'll learn 'em

mumbar · 02/05/2010 18:04

LOL!!

toosoft · 02/05/2010 19:58

Contact Asda head office. Don't contact the store go again, go straight to the top. It is unacceptable for the staff member to behave this way. Hope everything works out.

MagicNappySack · 02/05/2010 20:25

OMG - you poor thing!

Hope you and your DD are getting feeling better tonight. You've put me right off ASDA.

ChequeredFlag · 02/05/2010 20:33

Can this thread be emailed to Asda head office?

nancy75 · 02/05/2010 20:42

this is shocking, i cant believe there is no cctv of it, all the supermarkets invest heavily in security equiptment - my guess would be the footage has been viewed in store and show she was a liar so they said they dont have it - i think you can apply to view the cctv (freedom of information act i think?) as far as i know you are entitled to view anything that has your image on it, also don't be fobbed off by them saying they dont have the cctv anymore, almost everywhere keeps it for 30 days.

ChocHobNob · 02/05/2010 20:48

You've definitely learned a lesson then. Walk away if it ever happens again and report them first. Glad it isn't going any further.

Something similar happened to us in a shop. My 2 children were walking around with us. A store worker was blocking the aisle and finally, begrudgingly moved ... once she thought we were out of earshot she made a sarcastic comment to a colleague. One of my sons then became excited as he had found some Thomas the Tank Engine cake mix and he squealed. He's 2 and I did tell him to shhh. The same store worker, stocking the shelves, said rather loudly "That's another thing I hate about the holidays, f'ing kids everywhere." We wrote a letter of complaint to the manager, suggesting that the member of staff would perhaps be better working away from customers and got a grovelling apology and reassured the member of staff would be dealt with accordingly ... we also got some vouchers for the store lol

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