to ask my neighbour to close his bathroom window so we don't have to hear him huffing & puffing whilst he does his gigantic shits?

[SenokotSpy]

It's getting ridiculous, we hear it in the morning at the breakfast table- even the plop. Weekends are even worse as I think he must store up a couple of days worth.

His bathroom window over looks our garden so sometimes we even get a lovely fragrant whiff.

we eat in the conservatory which is right by the window.

AIBU to leave a bottle of Dulcoploppy stuff on his doorstep with a note?

Or shit, even.

OH do the clapping/cheering - so funny

lol @ "breech one".

I think line up the rousing bit of the 1812 overture and play on impact?

genuinely pissingmsl

Maybe you should send him a 'congrats on the birth of this weekend's big bouncing turd' card.

or goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal
LAZIO!

Anyfucker...ahem perhaps we are

noe playing 182 overtur

you need to leave some laxative on the door-step...less huffin and puffin..

oops... that should have read

now playing the 1812 overture would be funny

Get the kids a drum kit and get them to give a big drum roll whenever he does his next shit.

You could try shouting "push push push push puuuuush.... and breathe breathe breathe breathe breeeeathe...".

And doing straining noises might help him too.

omg...you don't know me do ya ???

anonymous gift basket: allbran prunes syrup of figs. Maybe buttplug.

So funny - thanks for posting

It was funny at first. I have started putting the children on the sofa in the morning with a hotcross bun or a cereal bar to avoid the poo chorus in the morning.

rofl this is too funny..........go with the cheer pmsl

Does he know you are eating close by!!

I just do not get it! Mind you, when I lived in shared housing at uni, I hated even the thought of somebody hearing me pee! So had to run the tap! Then got worried in case they thought that was me and I was a very forceful peeing type of person! It is a minefield clearly!!!

I would definitely cheer and clap. But seriously, what is worse having to mow your own lawn or listening to you neighbour sh*t every day?! I know which I would rather do

i really sympathise this is horrible for you - but so, so funny.

Is he married, could you have a word with his wife?

He must know because our window is always open when the weather heats up and he has seen the table when he's looked over the fence to talk to us.

he must be able to hear the children also- they are LOUD!

I wouldn't mind if he pooed on my doorstep every morning (quietly) if he stilled mowed my lawn (hate that chore)

i really hope this is the thread they pinch for Wright Stuff tommorow ....

Your name, senokot spy, tells me you are one of those people with a penchant for poo...talking about it, doing it....etc etc?

You need a big electric fan - drown out the grunting and send fumes back in the right direction.

great idea obm!

If this is true, i'd second the loud triumphant music, to drown out the boakworthy plop and provide him with a rousing soundtrack!