To put 6-month-old DS2 into a nursery one day a week?

[angel1976]

I am so tired. I can't think anymore. Can't see the wood for the trees (or is it the trees for the wood..) anymore? AIBU to consider putting almost 6-month-old DS2 into nursery for one day a week?

I knew having two so close in age would be hard but gosh, DS2 is almost 6 months old and it doesn't seem to be getter easier. DS1 is 26 months old.

DS1 - Great personality and a real delight but hard work. Really active, curious and very smart. Talking really well already. Needs to go out and do stuff. Staying at home drives us both nuts. He already goes to nursery 3 days a week.

DS2 - Lovely, placid baby. But doesn't like drinking milk form day 1. Now being weaned and doesn't want to open his mouth to eat. Has had a persistent recurring cough. When it comes back, he just coughs all night (he sleeps through his coughing, I don't!). Thinks he has a touch of reflux, even now, he can bring up whole feeds of milk now and then. Bumping along on the 2 percentile line. I just feel like I can't stop worrying with him.

Both just came down with chicken pox. No help from family nearby, in-laws are nearby and it's all talk with them. DH literally had to beg them to come last week to take DS1 out for a couple of hours as DS2 looked like the plague during his bout of CP. My family is overseas.

DH - Very busy job. Leaves early and comes back usually after kids have gone to bed. Our relationship is suffering because I am tired and grumpy. We have gone out for dinner when our friend has babysat but that's not it.

I need 'ME' time. I just need to go out and be able to do something. Get my hair cut, buy some new clothes and have a think about my job and going back to work. Or go for a run. I just feel like I am so tired from being a mummy 24/7.

DS1 goes a really lovely nursery. His carers have been asking when DS2 is going to them. I trust them completely. DS2 would love the attention. DH knows I am feeling really stretched. I am thinking of putting DS2 into nursery for 1 day a week so I get a break. But I also know a lot of mothers don't get a break ever! So am I genuinely being unreasonable for even considering it? Can't think straight anymore... Thanks.

Thank you for all your encouragement. I feel slightly better today. I keep reminding myself to chill out. Gave DS2 toast sticks dipped in porridge to chew on and tried to give him a few spoonfuls of the porridge but reminded myself not to stress about it ('Food is for fun till 1' is the current mantra). I'm going off later to pick up a sewing machine from freecycle as I think I just need to do something to clear my head and I have been meaning to make little keepsake patchwork blankets for both DSs for a while with their old clothes. Also planning a couple of half day courses just to give myself a break.

I will take the advice here and start off with maybe a half day first just for me to get a few bits around the house done. Thank you all. I really need to lower my expectations. It's nice to know I am not (and will not be!) the only one struggling.

angel1976, have been away for a bit on holiday, so just reading back over the thread now - re the chickenpox, my fully breastfed, when she was about 10 months. BF did not protect her, so don't feel guilty about bottlefeeding . Sympathise about the endless fruitless trips to doctors re. your DD's cough. I had very poor experiences with GPs and had to get really shirty with them before something was done. One GP told me her daughter had had a severe cough till she was 7 years old but it was 'nothing' . It's great your son is so much better on that front now - hurray. I hope things get easier soon for you, I really do.

Well that didn't make sense, did it? Meant my fully breastfed, boob-addicted daugher caught CP when she was about 10 months ....