To be annoyed at this person commenting on our parenting?

[SunFunMum]

DH has a dd from previous relationship and we also have a ds together - dd is almost 10 yrs and ds is 20 months so quite a big age gap.

At the weekend ds accidentally pinched dd as he was trying to grab a toy off her - she got very upset and was crying (understandably), but we tried to explain that he didn't mean it.

Two hours later when she went home she was still upset and told her mum about it.

So dd's mum texted dh to say that he absolutely did the right thing in smacking our ds's hand, and that he should either do that or pinch him back so he can see how it feels!

So AIBU to be annoyed at this?

I think it's up to me and dh how we wish to punish our child's behaviour .

Sorry - DD is 10 and DS is 20 months and she got all hysterical because a baby pinched her accidentally?

I don't understand.

Your DS is only 20mths? And his sister is almost 10yo?

And she got so upset because he accidentally hurt her that she was still upset TWO hours later?

I am amazed at this, and amazed that your DH's ex thought it would be appropriate to hit your DS as a punishment. Did your DH smack your DS?

Of course you are not BU, she is in thinking it's any of her business or in any way a useful or necessary thing to pinch a 20-month-old

There was no need for her to follow up the incident with a text, blatant shit-stirring.

Your DH smacked your DS for accidentally pinching his sister? I am so aghast at this.

No wonder she did not accept it was an accident, if he was punished for it.

is there history here? because it sounds like your husbands daughter knows how to stir things up a bit

No one should be hitting your child including your DH.

YABU to condone smacking your DS, particularly if the pinch wasn't malicious.
YANBU, regarding her mum, she should keep out of it. Was DD really so wounded by a little tot? Sounds pathetic.

An accidental pinch from a 20 month old that made a 10 year old cry and she was still upset about 2 hours later?

I suspect this is going to be an AIBU by stealth - there is more to this than meets the eye.

Sorry, but I have a dd of that age and she is very aware that a child of that age wouldn't intend to hurt. Nor can I imagine her crying for two hours about it. Is the dd manipulating things?

what seeker said

Is your ds his half-sister's only sibling? I ask cause this sounds like she is jealous of him and making a fuss to get attention.

This will be the first of many, many negative interactions b/w them - entirely normal b/w siblings and possibly exacerbated if she is feeling insecure about her relationship with her dad.

In your position I'd agree with your husband how you will deal with fights/squabbles and expect lots, make sure she gets lots of 1-2-1 time with her dad and tell her mum to butt out (actually it would be better to ignore her texts on the subject).

I agree with wb that this sounds like the 10 year old attention seeking.

I am slightly aghast that either of you thought your DS needed punishing for this.

If you don't like people commenting on your parenting, best not to post how you smacked your 20 month old for accidentally pinching your 10 year old when grabbing a toy in AIBU.

Your DH's ex is advising him to hit your 20 month old child?!

She sounds a proper numpty.

My DD is 11, DS 3 and DS has many a time in the past hurt her on purpose even drawing blood- he's pretty much tamed now
but even when this has happened, and DD has been pretty helpless, she hasn't been 'upset' for 2 hours!

Definately sounds like the green eyed monster at work, and as has been said before, maybe your DH's daughter needs a bit of time with her dad. 10 is a funny old age anyhow!

DS is* 3 not DS3!

I don't understand why a 10 year old would pinch a baby, is she very jealous? I think dh was right to smack her, she sounds a right so and so.

op hasnt actually said that they smacked ds hand you know!!!

Hully- it was the other way round!

Chocolate - I am really very confused. Did she pinch dh then? I don't know why his wife was there and then on the phone with the baby.

Its probably how her mother parents her that makes a 10 year old girl cry for 2 hours after a baby pinches her.

Arent some people just so fuckin up themselves ......I dont think your ds deserved a smack either.

Oh I see. Well it doesn't sound like a very nice baby. Does it often hurt other children?

Did your DH smack your DS op?
Or did his DD just make it up to over dramatise for her mum?

Confuddled!

Hullygully. I like you.