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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at this person commenting on our parenting?

90 replies

SunFunMum · 26/04/2010 12:23

DH has a dd from previous relationship and we also have a ds together - dd is almost 10 yrs and ds is 20 months so quite a big age gap.

At the weekend ds accidentally pinched dd as he was trying to grab a toy off her - she got very upset and was crying (understandably), but we tried to explain that he didn't mean it.

Two hours later when she went home she was still upset and told her mum about it.

So dd's mum texted dh to say that he absolutely did the right thing in smacking our ds's hand, and that he should either do that or pinch him back so he can see how it feels!

So AIBU to be annoyed at this?

I think it's up to me and dh how we wish to punish our child's behaviour .

OP posts:
Iklboo · 26/04/2010 13:30

Hully - baby (20 months) accidentally pinched a ten year old girl when getting a toy.

Ten year old girl had melt down for two hours then told her mum when she went home

Ten year old girl's mum said OP should have smacked and/or pinched 20 month old baby

onebadbaby · 26/04/2010 13:32

What does smack in a toddler for an accident achieve???? .

Hullygully · 26/04/2010 13:32

20 months is hardly a "baby." Plenty old enough to understand right from wrong in my book. That baby had a spiteful moment and now they are reaping the whirlwind.

onebadbaby · 26/04/2010 13:32

sorry- smacking.

diddl · 26/04/2010 13:33

Sounds as if your husband made things worse.
He punished your toddler for an accident?

No wonder daughter plays up.

How about someone slap/pinch husband to teach him how it blöödy well feels?

VinegarTits · 26/04/2010 13:33

Wheres the op? my drips empty

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 26/04/2010 13:34

OP oh OP wherefore art though OP

Hullygully · 26/04/2010 13:34

VT - hopefully at some training classes with the spiteful baby.

TheSteelFairy2 · 26/04/2010 13:35

PMSL at "spiteful baby"

Hullygully · 26/04/2010 13:37

You won't be laughing when it comes after you with its little evil fingers all clenched and malevolent.

nickschick · 26/04/2010 13:39

Hully I think you might be wrong .

At 20 months old a baby/toddler or whatever you call them is still exploring,he doesnt understand actions and consequences,he isnt capable of pinching to hurt he is merely making a grab for something he wants,he needs to be guided towards whats 'nice' behaviour and what isnt.

He is encouraged to touch and feel things to explore his environment and indeed skin is very soft and supple and silky and 'pinchable' he doesnt understand that a toy he squeezes might squeak yet his big sister will squeal with pain.

He doesnt understand that he has hurt his sister and smacking him/pinching him etc will not reinforce that he should - it is with time and gentle guidance he will learn.

A baby of 20 months cannot understand life and the way it works.

A 10 year old girl can understand that a baby is still learning and it was an accident and an ex partner can appreciate that her dd was hurt by accident an apology and a punishment followed and that really she shouldnt be condoning further punishments particularly not ones that constitute child abuse.

There is a poem about children learning what they live.

foureleven · 26/04/2010 13:40

Id be more likely to give the 10 year old a slap for being such a princess about it...

Joke, of course.

But still, how ridiculous to encourage such behaviour in her daughter. Urghh

A lot of mums have a big hang up about whether their child will play second fiddle to the new child in an ex's life. I know I do to a degree, but I keep it under control. this woman sounds like an unstable loon.

brogan2 · 26/04/2010 13:41

What utter bollocks! Really!

Hullygully · 26/04/2010 13:42

I most certainly am not wrong. Look what happened to Hitler.

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 26/04/2010 13:43

I wonder if the OP is the girl's mother...

nickschick · 26/04/2010 13:43

Did he pinch his stepsister too?

I bet Bin Laden pulled hair whilst still in the delivery suite.

tiktok · 26/04/2010 13:43

The same Hitler who was beaten daily by his father from imfancy in the name of discipline?

Or another Hitler?

Hully, you are trolling!

ThisIsSpatchcocked · 26/04/2010 13:46

Hully, you consistently crack me up!!

Personally, I am a bit / dubious at this thread...

Hullygully · 26/04/2010 13:49

Hitler was beaten because he wouldn't stop pinching.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 26/04/2010 13:50

This is, you should be jumping up and down and giving yourself a sweep rather than reading this bagofshit nonsense.

Dollytwat · 26/04/2010 13:51

ROFL @ Hully

clam · 26/04/2010 13:51

I wonder whether Hitler's older sister used to cry for hours after having been pinched by him?

Dollytwat · 26/04/2010 13:53

Saddam was a biter - you have to nip it in the bud

JackBauer · 26/04/2010 13:56

OOh, 'in the bud?' That's a bit harsh, surely just the back of the hand will suffice.

Am slightly scared fo spiteful baby coming to get me now.

ReneRusso · 26/04/2010 13:57

my 4week old has been hurting my nipples, I was going to cut her some slack but I see now she's being spiteful. shall I punish her?

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