AIBU to not want to breastfeed?

[VixeyV]

Hi this is my first post but I have been a lurker since the start of my pregnancy.

Anyway, my question is I'm 20 weeks pregnant and the midwife keeps pushing me into breastfeeding. I just don't want to and don't get why she won't stop asking me how I'll feed.

To be honest, the thought of it freaks me out. I didn't breastfeed my daughter and she's fine on formula, she has aptimal because that's the best.

So what do you think? Should my midwife stop nagging me?

Can i just say:

I tried to BF both my boys, My DS1 fed from me for a 6 weeks, i had to stop due to getting Mastitas 3 times. I couldnt physically carry on BFing my son.

I didnt BF my DS2 because he would not latch on to me, i left the hospital and went straight to the supermarket to get some bottles and formula, (i hadnt bought any, because i was planning on and was adamant i would BF)

Now i have to say i do not think it is as brilliant as they make it out to be, My DS1 who BF for 6 weeks contracts EVERY illness going, he is mainly struck down ill every month and has done for the last 3 years.

Whereas my DS2 who was FF from birth due to him not latching on to me, hasnt NEVER been poorly in his 2 years

So people who detests FF Explain that one?

If BF was to be so friendly and healthier to baby why has my FFing son never been ill and my BFing son is all the time? I dont understand it.

BF for the best? I dont think so.

Good grief, after 5 years on mn these bf threads ALWAYS go the same way.

There is NO well-controlled evidence that in developed coutries such as ours FF babies suffer more colds/stomach upsets than bf babies

There is NO well-controlled evidence that FF babies are NEGLECTED (a la ramming of bottles in gobs) or LESS BONDED to their parents (and vice versa)

Why is it utterly impossible for so many people on the pro-bf side of the lobby to support an informed choice. It is simply UNTRUE that ALL women COULD bf if they only PERSEVERED and WANTED to. Again, NO WELL-CONTROLLED EVIDENCE.

lol, only read the OP, but it has GOT to be a troll. aptimal is the best?

Yes Mila.

Can you show me where Titty has been insulting or rude?

She's been accused of 'spouting shite' and being a bf 'nazi'.

On all these threads, I've never seen someone posting pro-breastfeeding evidence swear at or insult another poster. And many of those I've seen post the strongest evidence and be attacked the hardest are trained doulas, breastfeeding counsellors or antenatal teachers.

In return, they take a stack of abuse, each and every time.

That's simply not true, Pheebe.

Here's a study to start you off.

You can't control perfectly for breastfeeding studies because obviously you can't randomly assign women to feed in certain ways, but studies posted in the major journals are peer reviewed and scrutinised carefully with strong controls.

There's plenty of research published in major journals including the BMJ and The Lancet showing strong evidence that breastfeeding cuts down respiratory and gastrointestinal infection in developed countries.

If that's not enough, then what would be?

carmen people choose to dismiss facts when they disagree with that person's justification for their choices. some people will never accept the truth.

tsc the breastfeeding dance bit is what i identified most with!

why do you find it judgemental?

I am 39 weeks pregnant and I too will not BF, I don't want to, find the whole idea extremely uncomfortable and thats that.

I've been a bit emotional over the whole thing as I've been feeling really bullied by the midwives over it.

Be strong, don't let anyone push you around it's 2010 and it's your choice.

Let the breast is best people rave all they like about it being better for you and your baby, there is nothing wrong with bottle feeding.

Actually, I didn't see her say every woman can bf and I specifically saw her say that in the UK it probably can't work out for every woman.

I did see her say most problems are solvable and she's right.

A massive amount of sore nipples, breast injuries and infection are caused by latch problems which can be corrected with proper support. Milk supply issues are often perceived rather than actual but either way can usually be dealt with. And so on and so on. Even babies with cleft palates can be helped to breastfeed.

Only one in 80,000 babies has galactosemia, an absolute contraindication to breastfeeding. There are of course women who have had surgery, are taking certain drugs or have genetic abnormalities that may be unable to breastfeed.

The question of whether or not it is worth it to you to breastfeed in the face of difficulty is obviously a personal decision and no judgement intended. It has to fit with your life, choices, resources.

The problem with these threads is that any posting of facts is taken as a criticism. Saying that most women /can/ breastfeed is not the same as saying everyone /should/.

Carmen, I'm sorry but individual observational studies like these prove nothing. They suggest trends. Where is the meta-analysis data that would provide evidence that these single study trends represent an evidential signal.

Cochrane review on gastrointestinal infection and exclusive breastfeeding

That aside, the trends are pretty strong, Pheebe. Studies consistently show breastmilk to have stronger immunological properties. It's not proof. No study is outright 'proof' but the evidence is so strong that it becomes rather silly to deny it.

Who cares about studies?

it's no different to anything else, studies show a vegan diet is better for you then being a meat eater, being teetotal is better for you then drinking, living in the country is better then living in polluted cities, poor people die younger then the rich, Volvo's are safer then Land Rovers etc,

I could go on all day about what studies show but what would be the point, we live our lives with the choice of if we want to stick rigidly to the findings of every study that is made (and every one after that which debunks it) and thankfully the majority of us choose to live how we like and not be controlled by such things.

to live a life based on study findings would be a self imposed prison IMO.

Absolutely, Ryoko. But I'd rather educate myself and be able to make an informed choice based on the best current knowledge about anything involving my child's health.

tsc

you may find it ridiculous, totally fair enough, but why is it judgemental?

i really like fishfinger and crisp sandwiches and i find it really relaxing to eat them while reading haiku in the original - is that passive aggressive?

I didn't use any of those words.

And I'm sorry you had an awful time. I can totally understand why you gave up.

Re-read what I wrote. I didn't say breastfeeding would work for everyone. /Most/ people /can/ breastfeed. A majority of women who give up are led to think they can't when actually something simple is wrong that is easily corrected.

Some women experience very significant problems like you.

The choice to persevere with breastfeeding in the face of significant problems is a tough one and of course, at some point it really doesn't become worth it. That point is for you to decide and it sounds like you made a heroic effort!

CarmenSanDiego

you make it sound like you think those who choose not to, do so because they haven't read the studies and don't care about there childrens health.

There is a difference between being healthy and being healthier, it's a very fine line, a line we choose to cross or not in the knowledge that in the long term when combined with all other things it really isn't going to make any significant difference.

(unless you are a total health freak living in the countryside driving a Volvo paid for by your rich vegan husband).

tsc I am really sorry about your experience with your dd, i don't know what to say except it sounds absolutely awful and i don't know if i would have carried on bfing. i can see why the dance thing got on your nerves so much if that was your bfing experience, nothing very cosmic about bleeding nips and skinny babies.

really hope things are different this time round

carmen - tsc didn't give up, she fed her from october to march - if i've got it right

Ryoko, you're reading a lot of subtext into my post.

I haven't said what women should choose. I simply say that they should learn all they can before making a choice when that choice is important.

Obviously their choice needs to fit with their lifestyle, resources, culture and a whole load of other things but that doesn't change the fact that they should educate themselves as much as possible so they can make the choice fairly.

feeling sorry for your boobs tsc - hopefully all will be heavenly and in a few monthsyou'll be posting esctatically about how blissful bfing is and how you just can't understand why everyone doesn't do it